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To leave my 16 year old home alone for the weekend?

(55 Posts)
Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:20:30

Genuinely interested to hear other mums' opinion on this, I didn't think anything of it until I saw some headline in a goady crappy newspaper today about leaving a 17 year old (? Wtf?). So we live in a rural hamlet, safe and boring as hell but neighbours close enough to see the house, we work full time and don't really see a lot of the neighbours but we are all friendly and the kids know them much better than we do - the bus stop is a mile away and its the done thing to do for neighbours to pick up any of the local kids in the lane and drop them in the village - just a bit of back story to set the scene!

We are taking eldest kid up to uni in Scotland next weekend (370 miles away) and the 12 year old is coming with us. 16 year old boy has work on the Sunday lunchtime so has chosen to stay home and mind the dog (very soft spaniel who goes NUTS barking if anyone approaches the drive gates). We will be leaving early Saturday morning, stopping over and heading back Sunday so probably home for 6 or 7. He is super sensible and just doesn't party, we said we are happy for him to have mates over but they are typical lovely nerd boys (all boys grammar school kids so not even any girls) and would run a mile at drugs etc (I'm not naive, I was a proper folks away, house party, sick everywhere, spliff burns in the carpets type of teen in the 90s) Its not his style, he is so responsible and practical and sensible and knows he can knock on any neighbours door in an emergency (we will let them know in advance!)

I think this is fine?! No worries at all, he is a great kid and not far off 17 - I have relatives who were in the armed forces/married/parents at his age so it seems ridiculous to worry about him. He works, looks after his brother in the holidays and is an all round good solid boy.

AIBU to just not even worry about this?! He is more than happy with the situation btw, really laid back lovely boy (I love him to bits, can you tell? grin)

AnyFucker Tue 23-Aug-16 21:22:13

No need to write put all that detail. It's fine. Chill smile

LuisSuarezTeeth Tue 23-Aug-16 21:23:14

Sounds fine to me.

Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:23:36

I love you AnyFucker! May be feeling a little defensive after ridiculous newspaper story grin

whateveryousay Tue 23-Aug-16 21:24:56

I would leave my (also vv sensible) 16 year old too. YANBU

RustyBear Tue 23-Aug-16 21:25:33

I only saw the newspaper headline from a distance, but I thought it said 12 year old?

PaulAnkaTheDog Tue 23-Aug-16 21:27:32

I was left at home at 16, sometimes longer than a week. I was sensible and didn't cause chaos. Yanbu.

AnnieOnnieMouse Tue 23-Aug-16 21:28:47

Absolutely fine.
DH and I left dd aged 17 at home when we went abroad for a long weekend. There was no evidence of any rules having been broken.
Go, it'll be fine.

ohmygodyouguys Tue 23-Aug-16 21:31:03

Sounds fine to me. I grew up in a very similar sounding area and me and my sister were left for a weekend when I was about 16. All went fine.

Ladymayormaynot Tue 23-Aug-16 21:31:23

FFS what has happened to the world? Back in the 60/70s most 16/17 yr olds had left home & were living in beds sits (shows have times have changed speller checker won't accept that as a word). Ye Gods a 19yr old was quoted on MN the other day as being a child. No longer acceptable to leave a 17 yr old home alone is absolutely ridiculous.

Allatseainthemidlands Tue 23-Aug-16 21:32:05

I think it's absolutely fine. I would leave him and not worry about it.

Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:32:07

Thank you all, I thought I wasn't being awful but I expected a bit of a flaming! rustybear I saw the headline trundle past at a supermarket checkout, I'm now really hoping I read it wrong! That would be so funny grinblush

curlycat Tue 23-Aug-16 21:33:35

We've been leaving our DD 16 for a night or so for a while now. Her friend always stays and MIL is 5 minutes away if there are any issues. Braving it and leaving her for 4 days so DH and I can have a long weekend in Portugal. Slightly nervous i must admit about that but again her friend will be here and she has various aunties on call if needed and next door will make sure theres no wild parties!! -i hope-

AnotherUsernameBitesTheDust Tue 23-Aug-16 21:35:35

I left my then 16 yo for a whole week last year. He's now 17, so survived and is most put out we're not going away this year!

What is this horror story of a poor abandoned 17 yo?

Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:36:22

Ladymay I agree completely but wanted a general consensus as a reality check. I had my children young(ish) and my best friends all have babies and toddlers so I can't ask my peers. My kids are ace and I trust them completely, I left home at 17 and it was fine smile

StandingonaBeach Tue 23-Aug-16 21:37:22

I think in that 'crappy article ' the eldest child was 14 and in charge of younger siblings. So slightly different.

rollonthesummer Tue 23-Aug-16 21:37:41

Absolutely fine. My mum and dad left me at home at this age with my (equally sensible!) boyfriend for a week. We were both working during the day and didn't have any wild parties!

RustyBear Tue 23-Aug-16 21:37:51

Don't worry - it was 12 year old...

ExitPursuedByABear Tue 23-Aug-16 21:38:11

Left my 16 year old for 9 days at the start of the summer hols. She had the dog. And a party.

Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:38:58

another I'm doubting myself now and I hope I was wrong. Not that I care what the goady rags are bleating about, I really wondered what others do. Happy to see I'm not a terrible mother grin

Ladymayormaynot Tue 23-Aug-16 21:39:02

At 17 I was hitching round France with a friend. We met someone the same age who was hitching from USA with her 10 yr old sister. It Is very sad to look at this lost independence over a couple of generations.

YellowShockedFace Tue 23-Aug-16 21:40:13

Was the story the Daily Mail one? The one that mentions mums not dads leaving their poor defenceless babies for hundreds of hours to work because they feel like it and how dangerous it is for the little ones and how neglectful they are hmm

Kalopsia77 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:41:45

RustyBear thank you!! I feel like a proper wally now! I would totally leave my 12 year old alone for a couple of hours though, with phone and same neighbour support confused

noeuf Tue 23-Aug-16 21:42:31

Very timely thread, Op. We leave a 17 year old and 14 year old tomorrow with regular grandmotherly supervision....

Writerwannabe83 Tue 23-Aug-16 21:42:46

My mom left me and my sister, aged 16 and 17, alone for a weekend and I ended up fleeing with the guy my mom had banned me from seeing and my sister ended up in hospital having drank Creosote after getting drunk during a big party she'd held grin

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