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To be annoyed with friend

(23 Posts)
Dutch212 Tue 23-Aug-16 20:14:17

Invited friend and her kids out for the day. Arrived to find friend had invited two other of her close friends and their children. I felt a bit awkward and left out as they are obviously close friends and didn't make much effort to speak to me. I really tried, but when they kept returning to talk about shared memories etc it was quite difficult.

They then added a collection of pictures on Facebook afterwards with no mention that my children and I were even there. Friend then commented what wonderful friends she has, tagging the two she invited.
It was me who originally invited! Friend I invited has always been lovely and refers to be as one of her best mates usually. Not sure what to make of all this but feel quite cross and hurt. Aibu to feel this way and what's the best approach to deal with it? Become more distant? Say something (how without seeming like a six year old?!) Forget it?

bumsexatthebingo Tue 23-Aug-16 20:34:49

I would comment that it was lovely meeting them. Kill them with kindness.

JellyBelli Tue 23-Aug-16 20:40:13

I dont think you're being unreasonable, they sound like they're being childish. Cutting someone out like that is pathetic.
Look further afield for new friends. smile

ParisienneRose Tue 23-Aug-16 20:44:00

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Tue 23-Aug-16 20:46:31

That was a shitty thing to do
. I wouldn't have liked it. Im one of those people, IRL If I don't know you. I don't like you. It was very unfair of your friend to just spring them on you.
About the just tagging them clique exclusive nonsense. I think id have to tell her what I thought. And say. Do you no value our friendship. Just let me know and I'll walk away

MLGs Tue 23-Aug-16 20:47:29

I also agree with bumsex

(So much better than agreeing with Nick)

WoburnSands Tue 23-Aug-16 20:48:09

I agree it's an awful thing to do. I personally wouldn't say anything though - just 'ghost' her if she tries to contact in future.

MiddleClassProblem Tue 23-Aug-16 20:49:28

What a wankbucket! No advice, just pissed off for you.

JenniferYellowHat1980 Tue 23-Aug-16 20:50:52

Ugh. Playground behaviour - I ditched most of my new mum friends sharpish over behaviour like this when DD was 6mo. Avoided the whole scene when DS was a baby.

tighterthanscrooge Tue 23-Aug-16 20:52:11

How fucking rude

Heidi41 Tue 23-Aug-16 20:53:22

Too many ppl there and you were left out I am sure it wasn't meant don't be down just explain you felt a but out of it with them being there and you hope they didn't think you were being funny , That should do the trick op

tofutti Tue 23-Aug-16 20:58:51

i remember when one of my closest friends (who's lovely) left me out alot on a day out in favour of her other more glamourous friend. I have mostly forgotten this but it does make you realise anyone can behave this way. They're no longer friends but we are still close. I guess her head was turned!

AddToBasket Tue 23-Aug-16 21:20:03

Three strikes and she's out. Today was strike one, let it go.

I don't think this is about you btw. I think it was about her wanting to buddy up with these other two. Rude (very) but she may just feel really secure in your friendship.

NotnearlyascalmasIlook Tue 23-Aug-16 21:21:00

I think your friend was really rude to have invited them without checking with you in the first place. But they were unspeakably rude leaving you out.

I was recently invited to someone's birthday meal and only knew half the group. Everyone else was really friendly too and I think everyone left feeling they'd had a brilliant night out. That's what grown ups do: they include other people and make sure everyone has a good time. They don't have to be your best friend going forward, just be friendly when you happen to meet up.

LuisSuarezTeeth Tue 23-Aug-16 21:21:52

Extremely rude. Find new friends.

Thetruthfairy Tue 23-Aug-16 21:27:38

Ugh, yuck. How pathetic.
I was invited to go on a night out with one of my best friend's from uni years ago. She more or less ignored me, trying to impress some other friends. I think she felt like I was a 'safe' friendship and didn't require the effort. I didn't see her as a close friend after that. We are now just 'fbook' friends and that's it.

rainbowstardrops Tue 23-Aug-16 21:27:42

Downright rude. No problem with friends inviting friends if it's clear it's a group thing but this wasn't.
I'd steer clear from now on if possible and choose other friends to spend a day with

Hereforthebeer Tue 23-Aug-16 21:47:49

They probably couldn't tag you, as you aren't their friend on FB?

Summer holiday events are normally free for alls/more the merrier. They do sound clique though..

Do what bumsex says

DoreenLethal Tue 23-Aug-16 21:59:50

I would comment 'Wow - what a coincidence we were there too today. Pity we didn't see you'.

Choceeclair123 Tue 23-Aug-16 23:31:50

Good one Doreen grin

Boysnme Wed 24-Aug-16 10:55:52

I can understand them putting photos up with no mention of you as I wouldn't assume that I could mention/show photos of someone else's kids without their permission. You are not being unreasonable however to be annoyed at your friend and for her to post something excluding you is also not on. I'd be distancing myself as well.

Brighteyes27 Wed 24-Aug-16 11:13:32

Sometimes things happen which can't be avoided maybe these other friends wanted to meet up with her on the same day and invited themselves along as sometimes happens. If it did I would have asked if you minded and let you know and made sure I was super inclusive and made sure you were tagged in the FB post. But I think 'not nearly as calm as I look' hit the nail on the head. I think this woman is insecure, thoughtless and petty. Maybe she has had her head turned by these other two friends and either intentionally wants to wind you up by her petty behaviour or thinks more of the other two and for some reason is more interested in what they think even if it's at your expense. I would cool things off as you sound quite sensitive and she sounds quite insensitive.

DelicatePreciousThing1 Wed 24-Aug-16 11:19:20

She sounds very unpleasant. I would jettison her.

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