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AIBU to want an apology?

(5 Posts)
Deerking Tue 23-Aug-16 19:35:24

Bit of a long story, and quite tricky to tell without being identifiable sorry.

Diagnosed with a chronic illness at the start of this year, have been very sick and hospitalised 6 times since.

Sis and I have never been close however she does contact me very occasionally, more so when I'm ill. Attention can be quiet unwanted sometimes, had to tell her off for posting my condition publically on social media, and she tends to lecture about my health rather than offer support.

On my last hospital visit she phoned after I contacted a close relative, but also told me off for contacting said close relative before her (I'm closer with them than her!) and offered "advice" about how to get treatment faster...

I didn't reply to her messages for a whole day (have you spoken to nurse, have you had treatment, have you spoken to parents, did you get out yet...), while I know this was maybe wrong I was getting scans, iv drips, doctors etc, and my DH and parents were visiting and being kept updated. I was on social media liking posts but not commenting, and generally trying to keep distracted and not miserable!

So a massive social media outrage is posted by her complaining about people who don't get back in touch and how rude they are. However if she was that concerned could she not have called again? Asked my DH how I was doing? I know it's rude not to reply, but she knew where I was.

Long story short, I messaged her letting her know how appalled and upset I was by her behaviour (while still in hospital!) and how stressful it has been, but all she has responded has been about her and how selfish I have been not contacting her.

AIBU by saying if she doesn't apologise I don't wish to speak with her? sad

FrogTime Tue 23-Aug-16 19:38:58

Firstly, sorry to hear you're ill. I hope you're recovering well.

And YANBU. I'd hate this and would be thinking the same ultimatum. She's thinking of herself and not of you. You don't need this stress at all right now.


Timeforabiscuit Tue 23-Aug-16 19:39:28

Yabu, just dont speak to her at all - apology or not she sounds about as helpful and supportive as a chocolate teapot.

That being said, she could be desperately worried about you, but you know her and the relationship best but she sounds pretty young by your description.

HornyTortoise Tue 23-Aug-16 19:47:19

YANBU, my sister is very much like this and I am also in a situation similar to yours. I don't much speak to her at all these days as she is way too judgey and makes me feel worse about all of my problems tbh.

Deerking Tue 23-Aug-16 19:56:05

Thank you all for the quick responses! I've been worrying about this since it happened in case it's me creating drama and demanding an apology, but it's been a bit of a culmination of her recent behaviour coming to a head!

She's not young unfortunately, although she behaves it, she's actually a good bit older than me.

I just feel she uses my condition to create attention for herself, what with all the social media posts, and she likes to be the one to tell the rest of the family how I'm doing - but I don't speak directly to her about it! And then to kick off like that... I hate a pity party, but I'm the one who is sick?

I don't think it was too much to ask to be given a day off responding to people while I was getting poked and prodded by all sorts of medical people...

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