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'A baby'll have your work cut out!!'

(80 Posts)
Cosycottage4 Tue 23-Aug-16 18:59:01

I'm expecting DC2 in a few weeks time, I already have a DD(2) and am excited to be having a little boy this time.

However, pretty much anyone who asks the sex of the baby replies with some variation on the thread title. I largely brush it off, but it's starting to make me slightly nervous, esp as DD has always been quite 'easy' (relatively speaking).

AIBU to think (hope) that not all boys will be more difficult than girls? Or am I being hopelessly naive?!

Gizlotsmum Tue 23-Aug-16 19:02:58

Umm ... Me and my friends have a 'second child' theory. In our case our second children are harder work than our first, they are more independent, cheeky, trouble and far more confident. But they also slept better...

BendydickCuminsnatch Tue 23-Aug-16 19:03:12

I was just discussing this with some friends today! The general consensus was probably not what you want to hear (all the girls are calm and focus on the vocabulary side of development, all the boys are way ahead physically and go and go and go), but having a boy is awesome and so so fun smile as I'm sure having a girl is too.

VeryBitchyRestingFace Tue 23-Aug-16 19:03:49

It's a conversational filler. They're trying fill the gap with something "nice" to say rather than stare blankly whilst their brain catches up.

You'd probably get a similar response if you told them you were having a girl.

ElspethFlashman Tue 23-Aug-16 19:04:39

My boy was (and is) very easy. He is a happy little dude.

But very very active. Crawled early, and to my horror was pulling himself up a week later. He was walking by 11 months. He never ever stops! And he's fast! We have had to childproof every inch. Nothing is safe from his hands!

But he is a cuddly funny joy, so who cares?

peneleope82 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:06:15

I have 2 boys. First one is a total monkey - full of personality but cheeky and hard work at times.

My youngest is permanently cheerful and has been easy since the day he was born. Great sleeper, never cried etc.

They're different because they're different people. Bugger all to do with sex, gender or being the first or second child.

AuldYow Tue 23-Aug-16 19:06:40

People say daft things, fwiw I have two boys the eldest is/was a complete nightmare youngest a dream. However...the wind is changing and as they hit the tween years they are swapping round!

Whatever one person says there'll be another who'll say the opposite wink

formerbabe Tue 23-Aug-16 19:06:54

I have a dd and a ds...they're do have your work cut out!

Boys generally have a lot of energy...that's what people mean I think!

Buttwing Tue 23-Aug-16 19:07:08

Utter balls. Sorry! I have two of each and the sex makes no difference. Boys are not more hard work it totally depends on the child. Dc1 and dc3 (one boy and one girl) both amazing sleepers. Dc2 and 4 (one boy and one girl) both crap.

Don't let people worry you as pp said people just like to fill a space in the conversation with shite

Buttwing Tue 23-Aug-16 19:07:51

Xpost with former that wasn't meant at youblush

Gardencentregroupie Tue 23-Aug-16 19:07:58

Their personalites aren't linked to their genitals. My DD was crawling at 7 months, walking at 10, hates sleeping, doesn't nap, has no fear of heights or water, loves bikes and scooters and balls and running and jumping and climbing and Never. Ever. Stops. My older nephew was a calm sweet baby and toddler who took lovely naps and liked to get comfy and watch his cartoons.

Congratulations on your pregnancy, your son will be great.

Anasnake Tue 23-Aug-16 19:08:16

2 boys, wouldn't change it for the world !

allthecarbs Tue 23-Aug-16 19:09:01

Totally different to Gizlotsmum, I've found the second child to be the easy one regardless of gender.

You never get 2 the same so if your first is quite easy then this one might pish your limits a bit! Nothing to do with gender.

I've got 2 boys and they are world's apart with their personalities.

Ignore the silly comments and look forward to meeting your lovely baby smile

Gardencentregroupie Tue 23-Aug-16 19:09:20

Energetic children have a lot of energy. Girls are just pressured into being quiet, lady like, sit here sit still do some crafts, from an early age whereas boys aren't.

SpaghettiMeatballs Tue 23-Aug-16 19:09:46

I have one of each. DD was harder work as a baby by a country mile. DS is 2 now and I'd say he's the harder toddler because he's so active. He runs walks everywhere and just adores being outdoors. He doesn't take it well when he doesn't get enough 'exercise' for whatever reason.

He is sooooo cute though and I adore him. He is very attached to me and very affectionate.

Disclaimer: I adore DD too.

NeedACleverNN Tue 23-Aug-16 19:10:02

I'll agree with the second child theory!!

I have a boy as my second child and he is a handful. Into everything, stubborn, wilful and clingy. Was such a shock after my daughter who I could put down and leave.

My friend had a girl and she is harder to handle than her first born boy.

Bluechip Tue 23-Aug-16 19:10:27

its a conversation filler

^^ this a thousand times. Asking the question of whether the parents know if it's a boy or girl is something you say to fill the gap, and then you're left with another gap with nothing to say. After 'congratulations' especially from acquaintances you're really in a pickle.

SomedayBaby Tue 23-Aug-16 19:11:17

In our case our second children are harder work than our first, they are more independent, cheeky, trouble and far more confident

This is definitely us...and I know so many people that have the same experience.

I have two boys. Ds1 is so laid back he's horizontal...never gets cross, calm and collected, likes a really nice meal out, enjoys a good quiet game of chess...he's like a 50 year old stuck inside an 8 year olds body lol.

Ds2 will make me grey before i'm 35, i'm sure...he's like a terrier, always on the go. He's taught himself to do forward and back flips and especially likes to freak me out by backflipping off the highest things he can climb on.

GlitterBox Tue 23-Aug-16 19:13:01

I have one of each. My boy is very active, loud and boisterous. My girl is far more placid preferring to sit quietly with a colouring book. However I find my girl much more hard work, she is far less independant and she whinges constantly about minor issues which drives me mad!

What will be will be and each child, regardless of sex, will bring their own challenges sooner or later.

formerbabe Tue 23-Aug-16 19:13:26

From my own experiences and what I know from friends, I'd say

Baby stage...boys are easier, more chilled.

Toddler stage....bout the same

Primary age...boys are more energetic and boisterous...need lots of exercise

Teen years...Girls are more difficult apparently...(mine are too young for me to know this yet)

Mrscog Tue 23-Aug-16 19:13:34

Well I have 2 DS's they are very different (DS1 sensitive, a bit highly strung, very energetic, shy and very very defiant; DS2 is more confident but even more active and very determined (he's 16 months and climbed a 10 rung LADDER on a play area this afternoon).

I consider myself a feminist and before I had them I was very 'oh no one's labelling mine based on gender' etc. but to be honest my friends with girls the same do seem to have a different experience - calmer, more likely to respond to 'no' by at least the 3rd time (with mine it takes about 25 times), they don't seem to run off as much etc. My Mum also says they are way harder than me and my sister were at the same ages.

However I still refuse to believe it's anything to do with being male - it would go against everything I believe!

Wolfiefan Tue 23-Aug-16 19:14:11

I would file it under the "boys will be boys" bollocks! The idea that having a penis means they must run about more, be rougher and harder to control. It's ridiculous.

Cuppaand2biscuits Tue 23-Aug-16 19:14:39

I have an dd aged 5 and a ds aged 3. My was much harder work as a baby, he was much more clingy and didn't like me to leave a room, even if his sister was in the room with him. Now days he's no trouble at all. He's calm, doesn't run away, isn't destructive or boisterous.

NorksAkimbo72 Tue 23-Aug-16 19:15:02

I hate this sort of statement! I have a dd and ds, both are challenging in different ways, but they are also lovely most of the time. I didn't find ds to be harder than dd just because he's a boy!
They were born 15 months apart...THAT was the bloody hard part!

reallyanotherone Tue 23-Aug-16 19:15:34

Utter bollocks. It's their personality.

For the first few years of dd's life i was constantly challenged on her sex. Was i sure? But she's full of energy, runs everywhere and climbs everything, he must be a boy!

Some people are wedded to stereotypes and suffer confirmational bias- they see a boy behaving in a stereotypical way and immediately credit it to their genitals.

Add to that parents also expecting stereotypical behaviour, so boys are allowed to be boisterous, as it's "just boys", whereas girls are reprimanded...

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