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WIBU to say no to this bbq

(143 Posts)
MrsSparkles Tue 23-Aug-16 07:16:06

DH friend invited us round for a bbq on Sat. I really don't fancy it as 1.they live 1 1/2 hours away 2. We have a 5 year old and 3 month old and they live in a tiny flat. Only outside space will be used for bbq so nowhere for the 5 year old to play. I don't think it's fairly to drag her all that way for something she won't enjoy?

Plus DH will be busy chatting with friend (otherwise what's the point in going) leaving me to entertain both children?

PotteringAlong Tue 23-Aug-16 07:16:40

Just send DH

PassiveAgressiveQueen Tue 23-Aug-16 07:18:08

Tou stay home entertain kids where way easier.

GoldFishFingerz Tue 23-Aug-16 07:18:14

Yes just send DH

Laiste Tue 23-Aug-16 07:18:53

I agree, let him go on his own. It doesn't sound like a child/baby friendly day.

MrsSparkles Tue 23-Aug-16 07:20:12

I suggested that but he wants to do stuff as a family. He sees friend a couple of times a month anyway so I suggested they go out another time as an alternative as well.

NicknameUsed Tue 23-Aug-16 07:20:58

They are being optimistic. We have rain forecast from 4pm onwards.

Trifleorbust Tue 23-Aug-16 07:32:48

Honestly, if there are no other reasons not to go, I would. Your DH will appreciate the chance for his family to spend time with his friends. There will be times when you want to take the kids somewhere and he thinks they won't enjoy it, or he won't want to go, but you will appreciate his support on those occasions too.

00100001 Tue 23-Aug-16 07:35:25

Your 5 year old will be fine. Just take some toys if you're bothered she might be bored. 3 month old will be quite content looking around and sleeping.

Sounds like you just don't want to go and are using the kids as an excuse

Lilaclily Tue 23-Aug-16 07:36:52

Nickname, maybe they live in florida wink

Amelie10 Tue 23-Aug-16 07:37:24

I think it's a bit shit of you to use the excuse that your 5yo won't have enough space to play. Not everyone has lovely big gardens so the darlings can run around. Pack a few toys or something to keep your child entertained, it's not the end of the world .

OnionKnight Tue 23-Aug-16 07:42:06

Your excuses are bit weak and it sounds as though you don't want to go and are using the kids to justify it.

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Tue 23-Aug-16 07:44:43

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FrancisCrawford Tue 23-Aug-16 07:45:18

I wouldn't go because you have already decided you won't enjoy it and seem to be looking for reasons not to go. With that attitude you will spoil it for everyone.

The car journey is not excessive and the five year old will probably love getting a sausage cooked outside. Unless you are pulling her along by her hair, she isn't going to be dragged there, is she?

NoahVale Tue 23-Aug-16 07:45:40

are you the only people invited?

NoahVale Tue 23-Aug-16 07:46:29

dont be a party pooper op.
you might enjoy it

MrsSparkles Tue 23-Aug-16 07:46:56

So would your 5 year olds happily sit quietly for an hour and a half on the train, 3-4 hours at a flat then the same journey back? She's very good but I think she'd be bouncing off the walls by then. But maybe I'll suggest meeting somewhere more family friendly instead.

Trifleorbust Tue 23-Aug-16 07:49:01

Probably not, but not everything revolves around a 5 year old sitting quietly - she is old enough to be given some toys and told to play with them for a bit. Just tell your husband he needs to take responsibility for her as well, not leave her for you to deal with.

NoahVale Tue 23-Aug-16 07:49:36

she would enjoy the experience too

pourmeanotherdrink Tue 23-Aug-16 07:49:37

I agree with Trifle and others. Just bring some toys / crayons / a jigsaw puzzle for your 5-year old and she should be fine? If you went to a restaurant, your child wouldn't be able to run around either. I think it's actually a good opportunity for your DD to learn and occupy herself quietly.

MrsSparkles Tue 23-Aug-16 07:50:02

Yes the only people.

EvaWild Tue 23-Aug-16 07:51:26

Eh, I don't know ... I guess it depends if you think you can enjoy it as well?

FrancisCrawford Tue 23-Aug-16 07:54:13

I wouldn't suggest "somewhere more family friendly".

You've been invited to a specific occasion in a specific place, it would be incredibly rude to suggest your hosts change the location. It's like telling them their home isn't good enough for you.

AntiHop Tue 23-Aug-16 07:56:21

Can you take the 5 year old to the park to let off steam?

pourmeanotherdrink Tue 23-Aug-16 07:56:42

Probably not, but not everything revolves around a 5 year old sitting quietly - she is old enough to be given some toys and told to play with them for a bit.

Yes, this. I know I will get crucified for saying this, but my parents used to take me to restaurants and even the opera at this age all the time and I survived (and even enjoyed most of it!). At school she will have to sit quietly for longer periods of time as well. If you sometimes also practice this sort of thing at home, she will have a much easier time at school.

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