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Might be moving to New York for 2 years. AIBU to worry about messing up the DCs' lives?

(13 Posts)
IHeartKingThistle Tue 23-Aug-16 01:16:21

Just read that thread title back and I sound like a twat. But this is what I'm lying awake worrying about!

DH has been headhunted for a 2 year rotation in New York. We're all up for it and quite excited if he gets it. But I'm wobbling about taking the kids away and about how hard it'll be on them to fit back in when we come back.

DD is 9 and DS is just 7. By the time we got back DD would have to start secondary school as the 'new girl' - but won't have to do SATs I suppose - and DS would come back from the US system into Year 6. How hard would that be for them? What about their friendships?

People do this all the time, right? Anyone done it? Anyone been the child in this scenario? Any stories of 2 years away not messing kids up?!

I just want them to be happy. These are my wobbles not theirs! Most of the time I feel like it would be an amazing opportunity for them but I can't help worrying about this stuff.

Going to stop now before you get the tiny violins out grin

ShanghaiDiva Tue 23-Aug-16 01:23:14

I would ask this to be moved to 'living overseas' as posters over there will have more experience.
I am overseas with my kids, but no experience of moving back - we went for 2 years, but just started year 22. My ds moved from Germany to Austria to China and settled quickly each time. He is sporty and that helped as he quickly joined a new team and made friends from there.

MrsTerryPratchett Tue 23-Aug-16 01:54:31

I lived in Italy for three years as a child. It was absolutely wonderful. First year is hard. But totally worth it. I just went back and stayed with my best friend there and her mother this summer with my family. Lifelong memories, friends and culture. It gives you a global perspective, the travel bug and teaches so much. Same it's not, in your case, somewhere with a different language!

I caught up easily with school but you could get a tutor or just have the kids in a British school if you're worried.

We didn't even have email or Skype and I kept friendships going. My best friend and I kept a diary for the first year and exchanged them after the year. I still have it.

bettyjane Tue 23-Aug-16 02:13:29

My children have moved loads- latest move was a couple of weeks ago to US with an 8, 7 and 4 year old. They cope brilliantly, just sell it to them as a big adventure and enjoy all you can from the experience.

To ease transition we've always kept our children in schools which follow a broadly British curriculum, it might be worth you looking into this too as you expect to only be away for a few years. International schools are also really welcoming communities in my experience, full of people who have experienced relocating too.

NPowerShitShower Tue 23-Aug-16 02:30:08

You need to look on the Living Overseas thread - you'll get loads of good advice there.

NickiFury Tue 23-Aug-16 02:30:48

I'd do it in a heart beat. What a great experience for them. I was an army child and travelled all over, starting new schools regularly. I was just used to it and actually believe now it was of great benefit to me.

MakeItStopNeville Tue 23-Aug-16 02:36:04

I'm in NY and know loads of people that have moved back after their stint. The only people I know who have had a negative experience were those who were forced back before they were ready. Take it for what it is, an amazing life experience!

MakeItStopNeville Tue 23-Aug-16 02:37:26

And by the way, we have state exams every year, even at Elementary school.

whywonthedgehogssharethehedge Tue 23-Aug-16 02:55:11

Get them in an international school if you can. It's a fantastic opportunity. Go for it.

thedogstinks Tue 23-Aug-16 03:01:26

My children are doing it now. They don't hate it but they're not mad keen on it. But in all honesty when they get older I think they'll appreciate it.

2 years is a very short period in a lifetime.

DixieWishbone Tue 23-Aug-16 03:01:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IHeartKingThistle Tue 23-Aug-16 08:30:18

Thanks so much for the advice. Good to hear positives!

IHeartKingThistle Tue 23-Aug-16 10:30:04

I didn't know about international schools. Will investigate. I'm sorry I'm so clueless!

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