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To think maybe Dh could have got me a birthday present for my 40th?

(57 Posts)
PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:23:14

Or even a card.

He hasn't. There are no financial excuses at all.

A few months ago I said I would like to go to the zoo when it was my birthday. So in fairness to him he spent £70 on zoo tickets for him, me and dd. Plus we had a night in a travelodge the night before and dinner in Waggamamma.

I think he's probably just been a bloke and thinking he's spent £200. Which I guess he has.

But when it was his 40th i hired a cottage for the weekend, invited 20 friends for dinner at the cottage, catered for all those people including wine and I still bought him presents.

I'm not expecting/wanting something expensive. But it would have been nice to have had something to open on my birthday and I haven't had a single present. And it's my fucking 40th!

OneEpisode Mon 22-Aug-16 18:26:16

What would you like? A late present is still a present!

Amelie10 Mon 22-Aug-16 18:26:31

Yanbu, it's not him being a 'bloke', it's just him being thoughtless and hurtful. Not even a card? That's no excuse.

Planty18 Mon 22-Aug-16 18:26:47

Happy birthday!! I would be disappointed too, just in a marking the occasion way, as I am into cards, but at least he has done what you asked for your birthday. Still not great not even to get your dd involved in making you a card or anything though, I'm sorry you feel upset and hope you had a nice time at the zoo. Is it possible he could have a surprise planned for later?

Tobebythesea Mon 22-Aug-16 18:27:14


I would have been disappointed as well. Do you feel you can talk to DH about it? Maybe he will surprise you later?

I wish you a happy Birthday x

molyholy Mon 22-Aug-16 18:27:37

Ah can't believe he didn't even get you are card!!! That is shitty. Here - some flowers from me.

legotits Mon 22-Aug-16 18:28:26

Happy birthday cocker grin

My DP is superselfish thoughtless too.

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:29:35

I haven't spoken to him about it. To be honest there's nothing particular I want but he could have suprised me with some perfume/makeup, etc.

He has got a habit of buying shit presents (he bought me a knee rest for my iPad for xmas). I don't think I'm hard to buy for!

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:31:49

Reminds me of the birthday I had when I was pregnant with dd and he didn't get me a present and I thought maybe he was going to propose when we went out for dinner and the ring would be my present.

He didn't propose and I just cried and cried when we got home. I did say to him then (this was 16 years ago) that I was upset over the lack of a present. He just looked suprised and said he hadn't known what to get me so didn't get me anything.

So 16 years on and he hasn't learnt!

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:32:18

Thanks for my birthday wishes btw! smile

doorbelle Mon 22-Aug-16 18:32:33

He took you to the zoo as you requested, plus a night in a hotel and a meal.

Sorry but YBU a bit. I'd be thrilled if someone spent £200 on me!

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:34:22

Maybe I am being a bit then. He clears about 3k a month after tax so I don't think a £30 bottle of perfume would have killed him even after the zoo weekend.

And no card is thoughtless.

OneEpisode Mon 22-Aug-16 18:36:21

I think you need to ask for something. How about a big bunch of flowers at work?

legotits Mon 22-Aug-16 18:36:27

For my 40th my DP (he was doing some work on a cottage he let's in Scotland) not only didn't turn up, he didn't say he wasn't coming just that he was trying.

His efforts totalled sending me a moonpig the day before.
With a photo of my birthday cat.
Which I had sent the day before, enabling me to accurately time his action.

My lovely DF and DS bought me the birthday cat.
DP typed some promise of Cuba in the Moonpig.

HoneyBadgers Mon 22-Aug-16 18:36:44

Happy birthday.

I have to say, if I'd taken DP out for dinner, paid for a hotel room and spent £70 on a day out and he then asked where his present is, I'd be pretty pissed off.

We often do days out or experiences as presents, I've never then expected an additional gift on top.

I'm sorry but I think you are BU.

Tobebythesea Mon 22-Aug-16 18:37:25

I wonder how he would have reacted if you had done the same for his 40th or would he not be bothered?

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:39:00

No I wasn't planning on saying anything to him.

I guess maybe I make a bit more of a fuss for people on their birthdays than maybe other people do.

Never mind, I did have a lovely weekend.

OneEpisode Mon 22-Aug-16 18:41:12

Say something! Thank you for the lovely weekend, I'd like something to remember it, this perfume would be good..

nightandthelight Mon 22-Aug-16 18:41:36

I think the lack of present is OK considering the lovely trip to the zoo with overnight stay and meal. However no card (or cake?!) Is completely inexcusable!

legotits Mon 22-Aug-16 18:41:49

You can share my b day cat Pika

nightandthelight Mon 22-Aug-16 18:42:14

Happy birthday btw! cake

tupperwareAARGGH Mon 22-Aug-16 18:44:32

Oh that would piss me right off. If it had just been any old birthday then fair enough to having the zoo etc as present but it's your 40th.

Happy, happy birthday xxx

BarbarianMum Mon 22-Aug-16 18:47:19

Happy birthday! I agree that the lack of a card would be disappointing but certainly round here a night away plus zoo trip would be considered a pretty fine present.

Seriously though, he sounds like the sort of guy who needs to be told what to get you (some people just don't do thoughtful surprises).So tell him, or give him a shortlist if you want an element of uncertainty.

PikachuSayBoo Mon 22-Aug-16 18:47:29

If it hadn't been my 40th I wouldn't have given it a second thought.

Dd has just pointed out to Dh I have no birthday cake. He said I need to go on a diet anyway! Which is his sense of humour. I'm having a mug pudding.

HormonalHeap Mon 22-Aug-16 18:48:37

I'm so sorry I just don't have any words, that's unbelievable. I would be more than hurt and questioning my relationship if my dh made no effort whatsoever. What has your birthday got to do with the zoo weekend?! I think most men would aim for a piece of jewellery or similar for their wives if that is what they are into. Hope you have a lovely birthday in every other wayflowers

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