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Would it be U to stay away from friend?

(5 Posts)
CwtchyQ Mon 22-Aug-16 14:18:14

I don't usually post here but I need some clarity as I am overthinking this, I'm sure.

I am pregnant (12 weeks - scan later so fx tightly) after a miscarriage earlier this year. I have one DD. I was told I'd struggle to conceive and this one has taken two years and some drugs to make happen. So I know the shitty end of the fertility stick quite well.

My friend has been trying to get pregnant to no avail since earlier this year, and since I told her I was pregnant she has become more and more withdrawn from me, which I understand. So when we have spoken, I don't talk about the pregnancy - there's plenty else to talk about so it doesn't feel awkward. I had some issues with bleeding etc but have just kept it to myself. DH told her as I was supposed to be meeting her but was in hospital for a scan, which was fine. Since then, she's said some pretty harsh things about perhaps my body just isn't suited to pregnancy etc - but I get that she's probably hurting right now so it doesn't really matter.

She's not called me at all this week and usually I would initiate contact but I think I might just leave it for a bit. Is this unreasonable? I don't think if I asked her about it she would admit there's a problem, and I wouldn't want to make her feel shit anyway. Do I wait until she gets in touch again?

hellsbellsmelons Mon 22-Aug-16 14:30:12

I would wait - after that horrible comment I'd probably avoid her at all costs.
You don't need any negativity right now.
Congrats and I hope it all goes well.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Mon 22-Aug-16 14:37:58

I could weep for you both. You're both hurting. You because you want your friend to share your joy, which isn't unreasonable, but I've been there myself, feeling like the whole world and his wife aside from me are pregnant well still am there tbh. I've just learned to handle pregnant women better, so I can't critique your friend.

CwtchyQ Mon 22-Aug-16 14:48:27

lighthouse I am sorry - it is the toughest road to walk and I know that. I don't mind if she doesn't feel or express joy about it - I learnt to put a good face on it everytime someone announced their pregnancy - but that's me and I found it hard to be gracious sometimes. I just feel sad she is backing away from me, and though it's understandable, I just don't know what to do for the best.

TheSkyAtNight Mon 22-Aug-16 14:53:26

Her comments were awful, even if she is suffering. It's kind of you to forgive them. I think a bit of space is fine.

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