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to let my toddler climb 8ft high?

(17 Posts)
mendimoo Sun 21-Aug-16 22:56:38

My DD is 22 months old. She was crawling at 6 months, walking at 8 and has always been very physical. She can't talk at all though - always seems to be one or the other, doesn't it?! She loves climbing and I prefer to let her climb when possible (I. E. At parks and soft play) to avoid her climbing when she shouldn't (I. E. Onto the table and up the stairs alone.)

We have a park near us we visit once or twice per month that has a climbing frame around 8 ft tall. DD has been able to climb the net up to it since she was about 15 months old. I climb right behind her so could catch her if she slipped. I was at this park with her today and got absolutely ripped into by a lady with her granddaughter who said it was ridiculous to let her climb there and that she'll end up killing herself...! Her granddaughter was around three years old and not allowed on the climbing frame at all. There were no other children at the park to knock into my DD and I was up there with her so I didn't see the issue and told her so, only to be called a disgrace. wibu?

DearMrDilkington Sun 21-Aug-16 23:03:39

She sounds a bit ott. I don't think yabu but you would be if other kids were there that did want to play on the climbing frame but couldn't because your dd iyswim?

PatMustardsBigTool Sun 21-Aug-16 23:05:59

As long as you are confident you could catch her if she slipped then I think YANBU. Grandmother sounds over protective of her DGD.
I do the same with my DD do as you do and she's very confident and capable.

Coconutty Sun 21-Aug-16 23:09:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DoveBlue Sun 21-Aug-16 23:11:11

Unless obviously unsafe/negligent people should mind their own business on how you parent YOUR child! You know your child best especially if you are with her if you'd been sat on bench MNing then she might have a point but as you were with her YANBU!

Minisoksmakehardwork Sun 21-Aug-16 23:13:21

The first time (aged 2) my eldest dd climbed the twisty slide, via the cargo net, at our local park, my heart was in my mouth. It would have been approx 8ft high too - just higher than I could reach to the level. But she loved it, and did it over and over. Her siblings all followed suite as they reached similar ages, and again my heart was in my mouth each time. It still is now the youngest are 4. But they have been taught to climb safely and not mess around, not to dangle over the unguarded side or run around, to take turns etc.

So IMO Yanbu. If we risk assess everything to the extreme, we will simply raise a bunch of risk adverse children into risk adverse adults, who won't try anything for fear of failure, or hurting themselves.

Children need to learn where their boundaries are, how to negotiate their world in a safe and controlled way. By refusing to let them climb a climbing frame because they might fall, all we are doing is telling them there is no point in trying anything because if you get it wrong, you might get hurt.

Maybe I read too much into it. But play is now my children learn to get on with things, and if I stopped that they would be whiny and bored.

MothertotheLordsofmisrule Sun 21-Aug-16 23:23:25

I agree with the poster that said children need to find their own limits.

And the look of pride when they make itgrin

But you are there to help teach them how to do it safely - keep at least one hand on at all times, don't over reach etc.

TheRealKimmySchmidt63 Sun 21-Aug-16 23:27:47

Everyone knows the limits of their own child - my ds is a thrill seeker and I often let him take risks (whilst being ready to jump in if need be) as opposed to not letting him do it asthma is how children learn and if you have a child that naturally enjoys climbing/singing/ particular taste/touch/smell then you as parent are best placed to judge the safety of this - just ignore her - you know your dd!

Amy214 Sun 21-Aug-16 23:28:38

I encourage my dd (2years old) to go higher (i feel like a terrible mum now) but i don't want her to be scared. I am always right beside her telling her she's ok and 'go on you can do it' whilst im there terrified i won't be able to catch her in time. Last week we climbed up approx. 25ft and slid down the slide together, she loved it!
She's great with new climbing frames/soft plays, she isn't scared to get stuck in, sometimes it scares me just how comfortable she is.

d270r0 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:47:24

Oh please. Its absolutely fine, you are there helping the whole time. I wonder if she'd have said anything if you had had a boy up there instead of a girl.

blueturtle6 Mon 22-Aug-16 08:53:42

Yanbu, climbing frame are there to be climbed on. So long as not doing it alone I dont see a problem.
A friend was surprised I let 10mo climb the stairs (always with us just behind) but they have to learn.

BertrandRussell Mon 22-Aug-16 09:08:04

She called you a disgrace? Really?

She wasn't "an older lady" was she?

Or even "an old biddy"?

Annabel11 Mon 22-Aug-16 09:16:39

I wouldn't listen to grandmothers that much if I were you.

Sonders Mon 22-Aug-16 10:01:32

YANBU! Have you considered taking your DD to a climbing centre? Sounds like she'd love it! In a bouldering area you're never more than 12ft from the ground and there's soft mats underneath - could be a great place to gain confidence and turn a bit of fun into a hobby!

BuntyBonus Mon 22-Aug-16 10:05:59

What an odd response BertandRussell.

isittimeforcoffee Mon 22-Aug-16 10:26:59

That attitude is why there are so many kids who are unwilling to do physical activity! OP, I'm with you. If you feel she is safe, let her do it. My 21m has been using his brothers 6ft garden slide since he could work out how to get up there just after his 1st birthday, and is the first one up the tall 8ft slides in the park. The little monkey also climbs on the table/sofa/stairs/walls/anything he can get up!

Seeline Mon 22-Aug-16 10:36:51

I used to work on a children's play centre during my uni holidays (before the workd of H&S went mad). We had huge platforms way up in the trees that the kids had to climb rope ladders and cargo nets to get to, as well as lovely rope walkways, zip wires etc. The rule we had was never physically help a child up - if they couldn't do it on their own, they weren't strong enough, or mature enough to tackle it. verbal instruction was fine. The kids started at 5. I worked there for about 6 years and never saw an accident the whole time.
YANBU - ensure your DD is safe, but let her explore and challenge herself. That is how they learn and gain confidence in their own abilities.

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