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To be so distressed about my son starting nursery

(9 Posts)
Eljkr Sun 21-Aug-16 20:17:03

Ds1 (3yrs) has attended private nursery since 5 months and did so until I went on maternity leave with DS2 in October 15 at which time I enrolled him in playgroup 2 mornings a week to keep him in contact with other children.

He is a typical 3year old, he has hypothyroidism so is a little slower developmentally and is a July baby so will be the baby of the year as it is.

He finished playgroup for the summer and from sept starts at Nursery School 5 morning a week, it comes at the same time as me starting my new job following my maternity leave so I have now had to get a childminder to drop him to who will have him and my Ds2 whilst me and my partner work

I just cannot stop the guilt, I'm a complete nervous wreck. I have spent the last month feeling like the worst mother ever, he has had a year with me being home with him everyday and from sept will start a new school/new childminder and I cannot help but think he will feel I have abandoned him.

I just need some reassurance.

baileybrit Sun 21-Aug-16 20:40:18

You're not "the worst mother ever." In fact, your guilt/distress makes you a very good mother. I felt terrible when my son (he's now 18) was starting nursery. On a rational level you know this is good for him, but the heart isn't always so rational. I know it's tough for you right now (and it will be tough for your son in the beginning) but it'll be fine after a while. Wishing your son the best - what a journey he has ahead of him smile

harshbuttrue1980 Sun 21-Aug-16 20:46:48

You're not a bad mother!! You can be a working mother and still give plenty of time and love to your child. Some mums need to work to provide for their families - how can that be a bad mother?? Mums shouldn't be judged on whether they work or not, as you get great and selfish mothers of both types. If you really don't want to leave him, maybe you aren't ready to go to work yet and could look into being a SAHM for a few more years - but that option might not be financially available. The fact you are posting this shows that you are a loving mum, whether you work or not.

Italiangreyhound Sun 21-Aug-16 20:47:55

Try not to worry. You sound like a brilliant mum.

I am sure he will be fine.

It's normal. Most of us worry!

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Sun 21-Aug-16 20:54:38

I'm in the same boat OP sad
I'm going through this with my DS2 (3) and I've been so tempted to ask his playgroup if he can go back there where he was happy and settled.

You're not a bad mother OP- you're doing what you think is best for your DS and the guilt and nervousness are normal feelings because as parents we naturally worry. He will have a wonderful time at nursery smile <<I need to tell myself that!

DerelictMyBalls Sun 21-Aug-16 20:59:21

It's normal to worry. He will have a great time with all his wee friends, though.

Idliketobeabutterfly Sun 21-Aug-16 20:59:25

I think it's normal. I sobbed when I left my son at the school nursery last year. It was the first time he had left me and it was harder for me than him. Your son will be fine and sound like a great mum.

GeezAJammyPeece Sun 21-Aug-16 21:08:03

Of course you will be worried, it's completely normal!!
He'll manage fine and so will you smile

(And in the meantime, this seemed slightly apt and may encourage a giggle grin )

itispersonal Sun 21-Aug-16 21:12:35

I had a similar situation with my little girl who started nursery in April new school where she knew nobody and a new childminder as well as the old one didn't drop off at the school!

Although she is quite a resilient child I had the guilts, but she was fine.

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