AIBU to post this here

[Endofthelinee]

Because it got ignored on relationships? I've copied and pasted.

I have two small dc and I'm pregnant. I get depressed when I'm pregnant and dealing with the two of them is too much. I almost walked out tonight and left them on their own (neither of them can walk or talk yet).

I'm wishing I was dead. Crying all the time. Shouting at them and getting very angry. I just want it all to stop. I'm being such a horrible mum I hate myself.

Dh is at work (works 12 hour shifts) until 8.30. I've told him how much I'm struggling but he needs to work or we don't eat. His family aren't much help and mine are all 3 hours or more away. I feel so helpless and useless. I feel like I'm going to harm the unborn baby with all the stress I'm feeling. Feel so alone. Going to see gp tomorrow and ask for help.

Thanks for reading.

[whateveryousay]

Do you have a nice health visitor? Maybe talk to them too? I'm sure the GP will help. Well done for recognising that you have a problem, and for seeking help. Please don't leave them on their own though!! Not long til DP back now...💐

[MetalPetal86]

Gosp OP you have so much to struggle with. I was in a similar position as you (struggling, no family around, feeling overwhelmed) and still do feel like that from time to time (even though mine are now 6 and 8).

The truth is that you have to live by that 'everyone fed and not dead' adage and just have to try to survive. Yes go to the docs to try to get some emotional support and speak to your partner to try to get a little time to yourself. Are you eligible for the free childcare for two year olds? If not perhaps even paying for a few hours in a nursery would help? Or if that's not an option financially baby groups etc. I know how hard it is op... Totally sympathise.

I'm sure that you are doing great job too as a mum but sometimes it's so hard to see that objectively.

[BirdBrain85]

Hi OP,

You've made the first step by posting here and by deciding to see your GP tomorrow. You certainly aren't a horrible mum, or helpless or useless - quite the opposite! - you're very brave and resilient for seeking help.

I echo what whateveryousay said - I would also call your health visitor as she will know if there are local services who can provide you with some extra support until things settle down.

Take care x

[Kittencatkins123]

Seeing your GP is key. Don't be afraid to share your feelings, because you're having suicidal thoughts it may help you get counselling far more quickly - don't downplay how you're feeling, you need support asap