AIBU To Write An Ode To The Salad Bar In Morrisons?

[TiggyOBE]

Oh salad bar at Morrisons how I love thee!
How I long to explore every inch of your stainless steel body.
Your hygienic silver body containing many containers of yummy foodstuffs.
Not much like an actual body, but let's go with it.
My empty stomach aches for your interesting selection of pasta salads:
The tomatoey one, the other tomatoey one, the one that tasted fishy that hopefully contained fish.
Rice salad, cous cous and quinoa for a plastic bowlful of exotic multi-multiculturalism.
The taste of your croutony lettuce fills me with joy, and croutons and lettuce, obviously.
Hard boiled eggs! Where else on the high street can you buy individual hard boiled eggs for fucks sake!!!
How I dream of ripping off your sneeze guard and making mad passionate love to you in a flurry of grated cheese and crunchy onion bits.
But I can't. It's not Asda.
I'll never have that moment so I'll imagine the next best thing. Rachael Riley with breasts like your falafels.

So, anyway, who else likes a nice salad bar? £3.50 for a porker's portion too!

[Noonesfool]

But...but..you get seepage.

[CautionWankingMonkeys]

Cross contamination.

[EreniTheFrog]

"Rachael Riley with greats like your falafels"

[TiggyOBE]

The extra large box has little compartments for easy salad separation.

[Banana99]

I miss it from my old job. The boys used to weigh theirs to see who'd got the most in.

[Noonesfool]

No. But there is seepage already. A crouton in the pasta salad. Mayo on things. A stray bit of tuna.

[ThatsWotSheSaid]

A medium one can be used with their 'meal deal' too. :) I love it

[CautionWankingMonkeys]

Tuna. On non tuna things.

Argh.

[Noonesfool]

Exactly Caution

[TiggyOBE]

Shame Waitrose eradicated all theirs. There's no Morrisons near me. It was just because I was camping it up close to one that I was able to feast on its snacky marvels.

[PrincessHairyMclary]

Seepage plus the customers who lick the spoons and put them back in the food.

My mum works in morrisons and unless she gets in first thing in the morning before the customers she won't touch the salad bar apparently there are some awful personal habits on show from the general public.

[RoseDog]

Ours is very sad and empty looking because folks were filling their tubs with just meat out the dishes so they stopped offering meat filled pasta and rices, the last time dp got a couple of boiled eggs, coleslaw and some unidentified pasta!

[TiggyOBE]

Think of it as "bonus bacteria".

[Elledouble]

I saw a lad fill a box completely with bacon bits from the salad bar once.

[Lovelongweekends]

I can't touch them since I saw a couple take a handful out of a pot, stuff it in their mouth then move on to the next pot.

[MyBreadIsEggy]

My DH literally bounces through Morrissons car park in a flurry of excitement over the salad bar

[Stellabystarlight]

Oh wow, I had forgotten about these. Used to be my special lunch treat when I worked near one then I moved. Must have been 5 years. I am off to google my nearest morrisons!

[TiggyOBE]

15 miles. That's a long way to go for an amazing salad experience.

sigh.

Maybe if I got lots of little pots from various supermarkets it would be nearly the same...

[KoalaDownUnder]

I've never stepped foot in a Morrisons but fuck I laughed.

Erudite stylings, OP; love your work.

[YvaineStormhold]

What about the Pizza Hut Salad Bar?

Let not the marriage of true bacteria
admit impediments. Salad is not salad
which wilts when its sell by date it reaches,
or doesn't bend with the customer to fit in the bowl.
Oh no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
which weaves around busy restaurants and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering customer
Whose worth's two pound fifty, no matter how high his height be taken.
Salad's not time's fool - though rosy tomatoes and crisp lettuce
Within his bending sickle's compass come.
Salad alters a bit with his brief hours and weeks
But bacon bits make it bearable even to the edge of doom
If this be error and upon me proved
I've never carried a boiled egg in each pocket, and no man ever loved.

[TiggyOBE]

That's sooooo moving.

[BennyTheBall]

I don't have any ishooos - but the Morrison's salad bar makes me feel like I could have. It would be fine if they didn't have any customers messing it all up and being messy, greedy fuckers.

The bit where they make a salad up for you however, I like.

[GoEasyPudding]

Thumbs up, wait, double thumbs up to the OP!

[YvaineStormhold]

[PomBearWithAnOFRS]

Our Morrison's salad bar gave me horrendous food poisoning