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AIBU To Write An Ode To The Salad Bar In Morrisons?

(26 Posts)
TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 18:57:30

Oh salad bar at Morrisons how I love thee!
How I long to explore every inch of your stainless steel body.
Your hygienic silver body containing many containers of yummy foodstuffs.
Not much like an actual body, but let's go with it.
My empty stomach aches for your interesting selection of pasta salads:
The tomatoey one, the other tomatoey one, the one that tasted fishy that hopefully contained fish.
Rice salad, cous cous and quinoa for a plastic bowlful of exotic multi-multiculturalism.
The taste of your croutony lettuce fills me with joy, and croutons and lettuce, obviously.
Hard boiled eggs! Where else on the high street can you buy individual hard boiled eggs for fucks sake!!!
How I dream of ripping off your sneeze guard and making mad passionate love to you in a flurry of grated cheese and crunchy onion bits.
But I can't. It's not Asda.
I'll never have that moment so I'll imagine the next best thing. Rachael Riley with breasts like your falafels.

So, anyway, who else likes a nice salad bar? £3.50 for a porker's portion too!

Noonesfool Sun 21-Aug-16 18:59:07

But...but..you get seepage.

<boak>

CautionWankingMonkeys Sun 21-Aug-16 18:59:38

Cross contamination.

EreniTheFrog Sun 21-Aug-16 18:59:47

"Rachael Riley with greats like your falafels" gringrin

TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 19:00:20

The extra large box has little compartments for easy salad separation.

Banana99 Sun 21-Aug-16 19:01:35

I miss it from my old job. The boys used to weigh theirs to see who'd got the most in.

Noonesfool Sun 21-Aug-16 19:01:36

No. But there is seepage already. A crouton in the pasta salad. Mayo on things. A stray bit of tuna.

<vom>

ThatsWotSheSaid Sun 21-Aug-16 19:01:59

A medium one can be used with their 'meal deal' too. smile I love it

CautionWankingMonkeys Sun 21-Aug-16 19:02:07

Tuna. On non tuna things.

Argh.

Noonesfool Sun 21-Aug-16 19:02:56

Exactly Caution

TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 19:05:53

Shame Waitrose eradicated all theirs. There's no Morrisons near me. It was just because I was camping it up close to one that I was able to feast on its snacky marvels. sad

PrincessHairyMclary Sun 21-Aug-16 19:06:24

Seepage plus the customers who lick the spoons and put them back in the food.

My mum works in morrisons and unless she gets in first thing in the morning before the customers she won't touch the salad bar apparently there are some awful personal habits on show from the general public.

RoseDog Sun 21-Aug-16 19:07:09

Ours is very sad and empty looking because folks were filling their tubs with just meat out the dishes so they stopped offering meat filled pasta and rices, the last time dp got a couple of boiled eggs, coleslaw and some unidentified pasta!

TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 19:08:04

Think of it as "bonus bacteria".

Elledouble Sun 21-Aug-16 19:11:05

I saw a lad fill a box completely with bacon bits from the salad bar once.

Lovelongweekends Sun 21-Aug-16 19:11:13

I can't touch them since I saw a couple take a handful out of a pot, stuff it in their mouth then move on to the next pot.

MyBreadIsEggy Sun 21-Aug-16 19:11:44

My DH literally bounces through Morrissons car park in a flurry of excitement over the salad bar grin

Stellabystarlight Sun 21-Aug-16 19:15:08

Oh wow, I had forgotten about these. Used to be my special lunch treat when I worked near one then I moved. Must have been 5 years. I am off to google my nearest morrisons!

TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 19:59:12

15 miles. That's a long way to go for an amazing salad experience.

sigh.

Maybe if I got lots of little pots from various supermarkets it would be nearly the same...

KoalaDownUnder Sun 21-Aug-16 20:03:24

I've never stepped foot in a Morrisons but fuck I laughed.

Erudite stylings, OP; love your work. grin

YvaineStormhold Sun 21-Aug-16 20:10:37

What about the Pizza Hut Salad Bar?

Let not the marriage of true bacteria
admit impediments. Salad is not salad
which wilts when its sell by date it reaches,
or doesn't bend with the customer to fit in the bowl.
Oh no; it is an ever-fixed mark,
which weaves around busy restaurants and is never shaken.
It is the star to every wandering customer
Whose worth's two pound fifty, no matter how high his height be taken.
Salad's not time's fool - though rosy tomatoes and crisp lettuce
Within his bending sickle's compass come.
Salad alters a bit with his brief hours and weeks
But bacon bits make it bearable even to the edge of doom
If this be error and upon me proved
I've never carried a boiled egg in each pocket, and no man ever loved.

TiggyOBE Sun 21-Aug-16 20:16:31

That's sooooo moving.

<sniff>

BennyTheBall Sun 21-Aug-16 20:19:41

I don't have any ishooos - but the Morrison's salad bar makes me feel like I could have. It would be fine if they didn't have any customers messing it all up and being messy, greedy fuckers.

The bit where they make a salad up for you however, I like.

GoEasyPudding Sun 21-Aug-16 20:39:49

Thumbs up, wait, double thumbs up to the OP!

YvaineStormhold Sun 21-Aug-16 20:40:25

<nods sagely>

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