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To ask my sister to do this...

(46 Posts)
worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:36:47

We have used my sister for years for our haircuts, ever since DD17 & DS16 were children. Recently DD had a very specific vision of how she wanted her hair (basically blonde for most of it, with ashy light brown roots). She went to my sister's salon to have it done, and came out with extremely dark brown hair, with five or six highlights in the bottom half of her hair. DD paid for this herself and is absolutely distraught (says she hates it, wants to shave it off etc.). She's texted her aunt today to say she isn't happy, and is nothing like the picture she showed her. My sister has said she can come in for an appointment to see what they can do, but this dark brown colour is nearer to her natural colour than what she wanted (completely untrue, her hair has always been a dirty blonde/brown colour). I'm considering phoning up my sister tomorrow and asking her if she can fix the hair for free, as DD had the picture open throughout the whole appointment and she seems to have just been ignored, in favor of my sister trying a new technique for dying hair, which clearly hasn't worked.
AIBU to ask that of her? I understand that there are materials involved in the cost, but surely doing her hair the way she wanted the first time would avoid this? Myself and DH have said we will cover the cost of her getting it fixed (if need be at a family friend who used to work for my sister, she has done DD's hair before but is expensive now), but we would prefer it if the original hairdresser could cover her mistake.
AIBU?

Sparkletastic Sun 21-Aug-16 14:39:03

YANBU. If your sister couldn't achieve what your DD asked for then she shouldn't have taken it on. She should fix it for free if it is possible to do so.

Rumpelstiltskin143 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:40:27

Forget the fact that she's your sister. If another hairdresser had messed up your daughters hair you would expect them to fix it, this should be no different. It's not like your sister didn't charge her, she paid just like any other customer.

RubbleBubble00 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:41:15

Hmm I had the same. Dyed dark brown at roots theb just blondish/red highlights through the bottom. Some hairdressers just can't do latest dye styles

ThumbWitchesAbroad Sun 21-Aug-16 14:41:58

Since your DD paid your sister for it, she is the same as any other paying customer, and as such, should be treated the same. Which means that your sister should fix it for free, since she fucked it up. Hair salons, IME, do usually do a free fix if it's their error!

Sleeplessinmybedroom Sun 21-Aug-16 14:42:13

Yes I agree, your Sister should fix it for free. She would have had to if it had happened to another customer.

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:45:31

This isn't the first time DD has ended up disappointed, but the other items she's learned to love her hair (haircut slightly too short, dye job slightly off what she wanted) but this time it's so different, it's nearly like asking for a white wall and ending up with a black one! I just it's slightly unreasonable as it's going to be one hell of a job, and I think DD could have said she wasn't happy in the salon (think my sister realised this and told her "it will fade in a couple of days"!!!!!)

ParisienneRose Sun 21-Aug-16 14:45:47

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 14:50:23

Pariseienne that's the problem, our family has a turbulent relationship all round, with this sister in particular (we went through a year of the contact between our two families being DD going for hair cuts and eyebrow appointments) Family friend has said she could probably do it in a couple, at our home, but it would be expensive and cause problems with my sister. DD has also said she will never get her hair done there again after this (I can see why to be honest, DS has already stopped going there as she ignores him as well!), and is now worried if she goes there it will cause an argument sad, and is afraid to get it fixed, even though I am making sure she does (she looks so pale with dark hair, her colouring is really off for it, and she feels so self conscious and awful)
I'm willing to ignore any childish behavior that comes from this, but DD & DS already have little to no contact with aunts and uncles on one side of the family, so having this happen on my side would be really awful for them

ParisienneRose Sun 21-Aug-16 15:02:21

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:10:28

Pariseienne she washed yesterday with her normal shampoo and it looked like she was washing mud out of her hair, but still just as dark today sad definitely considering phoning her to have a word, it's so unfair on DD (she was excited about it being her first hair style she's paid for herself, the first real thing she's paid for with her wages) and she's so upset, she nearly refused to go to work today because she thought she looked awful, she doesn't want to go in tomorrow (her shift was cancelled today and she nearly cried with relief) and she says if it's not fixed for school (two weeks tomorrow) she won't go until it is fixed, it's such an awful and awkward situation to be in

Goingtobeawesome Sun 21-Aug-16 15:19:37

Head and shoulders shampoo was suggested to me when I wanted to remove the colour I had in my hair.

ParisienneRose Sun 21-Aug-16 15:21:28

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ParisienneRose Sun 21-Aug-16 15:25:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ProseccoBitch Sun 21-Aug-16 15:26:00

I don't think YABU but I guess it will depend on how much you think it will impact on your relationship with your sister. If it was a random hairdresser I would expect them to fix it, but only you know if it's going to cause a long term upset in the family if you ask her to sort it. I really sympathise with your DD - I decided I wanted the same colour as Caitlin Moran about six months ago, and ended up with nearly black hair instead of the reddy-brown in the photograph, there's nothing like a hair disaster to make you feel really upset and vulnerable.

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:26:16

I couldn't believe it was her at first, she looked so different. Sister has put the pictures all over her facebook page and DD really wants to put the picture she had in the comments and say "This is what I asked for!!!" as my sister is gaining a lot of advertising and good attention for what would be a great hairstyle, if only it wasn't opposite of what my daughter wanted, but we don't want to cause a problem before she has been down to get it sorted, which she is so scared about, worrying it will be awkward and horrible for her sad she was really looking forward to this hairstyle, and is now hiding in her room because DS is making jokes to her

Lorelei76 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:28:28

Temporary solution
How about your dd uses a colour stripping product?
Then get money back
Then leave hair to recover and next time go to a different hairdresser
If your sis is unhappy about this then I think the fault lies with her
But there's a good argument for not mixing business and family

Lorelei76 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:29:35

Cross posted
Did your DD agree to pics going on Facebook?

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:29:36

Prosecco I don't think the problem will be with asking her to fix it, my sister has already offered an appointment this week, as and when she chooses (DD doesn't know her work schedule yet), but I think the problem will come if the hair still doesn't look right and DD chooses to go elsewhere, or if DD decides that after this experience she doesn't want to go to my sister again, or if DD says I will pay (she won't have cash now until next week, as she spent most of her wages on this, and I usually pop over to pay) and I then turn up and refuse to, I just feel so awful for her having to worry about what upset it will cause (knowing my family, there will be some fallout, even if it's from her partner) on top of worrying about how her hair looks

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:32:29

Lorelei76 she's had damaged hair before, that's how she ended up with a much shorter cut than she wanted, and has said she doesn't want to damage it at all, for risk of cutting any more off (she used to have nearly waist length hair, now it's just about chest length)
DD didn't say yes, but my sister does it with all of her customers, and you couldn't see her face, but she was tagged in them, I doubt she would get her money back because my sister has already said she feels she did a close match with DD's natural colour (again, no way is it her natural colour, none of my kids have dark brown, nearly black, hair)

ProseccoBitch Sun 21-Aug-16 15:34:56

Ah I see, yes it's a difficult one. If she tries to fix it and gets it wrong and your DD has to go elsewhere she runs the risk of her hair ending up like straw..... I wore a hat for two weeks until I get get it sorted but that's not as practical at this time of year!

JellyBelli Sun 21-Aug-16 15:38:40

I'd take some photos if your DD's hair today, in case this goes bad again later. If I were her I'd ask for my money back and go elsewhere.

MatildaTheCat Sun 21-Aug-16 15:42:56

I would go elsewhere to have it fixed because your sister isn't admitting there is an issue so is unlikely to get it right the second time. Sadly, she just doesn't sound all that good a hairdresser.

Phone a couple of salons for a quote and then get it sorted. If sister asks just say it wasn't really what dd was after so she decided to go to someone recommended by her friend. If your sister is offended well, she's daft but so be it.

worriedmother1929 Sun 21-Aug-16 15:44:46

jelly she has some pictures of how dark it looks and comparing it to the picture she wanted, I'm just so worried about it going wrong for her again, and she loses all trust for hairdressers, because she loves to do things with her hair. Just seems like my sister saw her as a model for her to try things out with, and decided to ignore everything she said sad

GarlicMistake Sun 21-Aug-16 16:08:20

This isn't what you're asking - and YANBU.

What you can do: Get a 'natural ash blonde' box dye and a tinting brush. Wash the hair, but only with conditioner. Towel-dry it and comb it out. Wearing gloves, rest the ends of the hair over your hand and paint mixed product all along the bottom - use downward strokes, obviously - making a roughly even strip of about ¼ the length.

If you're going to want more highlights, squirt about a quarter of your product into a plastic or glass container (tupperware lids are handy.)

Fill up your mixing bottle with water - should be about 50/50 - and give it another good shake. Remember to cover the nozzle when you shake it! Paint the middle of the hair with this. You want it to blend, so take it very uneven down over the strip you've just treated.

Dilute the product again and paint it on the top part, taking it very loosely down over the previously tinted hair.

If you're doing extra highlights - Pick up a pinch of hair and coat it with the full-strength product you saved. Fingers are best for this. Twist the section into a string and lay it gently down over the other hair. Do as many as you want or have product for - it's best to do them symmetrically, in case you run out.

This takes 5-10 minutes. Wait ten more minutes, then test a few strands by wiping the product off with toilet paper to see how it's going. The product will not bleach as fast as the leaflet says because you've diluted it. After a further half hour, it will have pretty much stopped working so rinse it off if you've left it that long. Use the provided conditioner and see whether it looks more like you imagined!

I do this all the time, but will completely understand if you decide to go for professional correction grin

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