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"Oh I didn't have you down as a mum of girls"

(109 Posts)
OohMavis Sun 21-Aug-16 08:27:52

So this has been said to me a couple of times now, and I am confused. I promise that the next time someone says it I'll ask what they mean, but for now, mumsnet thread!

AIBU in thinking that there's no sort of marker for a mother of boys or girls? What does a mother of girls act/dress/speak like? How am I falling so short as to be unbelievable?! confused

Maybe it's the fact I have a 6yo DS too. Maybe he's polluted my 'mum of girls' vibe hmm

What do they MEAN?

WizardOfToss Sun 21-Aug-16 08:31:39

Utterly bizarre. Not a clue.

Who are these people? Do they mean to suggest that it's someone's personality that dictates the sex of their children? confused

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 21-Aug-16 08:32:00

I get the opposite! People are always surprised I have two DSs and one DD
'Oh, I always assumed except for the twin (weird enough phrase, right?) both yours were girls, not the other way around!'

I can only assume you're supposed to wear a tutu OP and I should invest in some overalls.


juneau Sun 21-Aug-16 08:34:27

I dunno, maybe you're not someone that dresses in a very feminine way, always has your nails done, etc, although why that should have anything to do with what gender DC you have I don't know. I'm a mum of boys and no one has ever been surprised about that.

NotAsYoungAsIWas Sun 21-Aug-16 08:37:16

No idea what that means! I've got two boys and two girls - mind you, I do wear a tutu AND a batman cape grin

LunaLoveg00d Sun 21-Aug-16 08:39:53

Sometimes in online forums I've come across SMOGs - Smug Mum of Girls. They are repulsed by noisy, active little boys, hate anything camouflage or navy blue, can't abide Action Man, Meccano or video games, loathe anything rough and tumble and can't understand why nasty boys can't sit quietly and colour in like little Agatha and Gertrude.

Although their attitude is more anti-boy than it is pro-girl, the SMOG definitely exists..

Lottapianos Sun 21-Aug-16 08:40:47

Stupid comment. I remember a colleague of mine who had 2 DDs saying how worried she was when she found out she was expecting a boy, because she was a 'girly 'mum' and may not know what to do with a boy hmm FFS

People just say a lot of stupid shit smile

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 21-Aug-16 08:43:00

SMOG is a horrible term. And I have two boys who often cause me to get the evil eye for daring to let them loose take them out in public.

Onlytimewilltell Sun 21-Aug-16 08:43:16

Do you wear hiking boots, brown or navy trousers/cords and standard fitting t-shirt and carry a rucksack rather than a handbag?
That seems to be a kind of "mum of boys" uniform round here! Presumably for all the tree climbing/rugby playing type activities grin
If not I don't know!!

OohMavis Sun 21-Aug-16 08:50:16

Only you've just described my wardrobe shock

Though it's more because I like brown and handbags are really bloody impractical than because we go tree climbing.

So maybe that's it.

Jennywallpaper Sun 21-Aug-16 08:51:12

I got this a lot when I found out I was expecting a girl second time around. It was all the 'I can't imaging you with a girl' comments, it really upset me after awhile. I'm not a girly girl but I know how to look after a girl as much as a boy ffs. Some people are just ignorant!

Onlytimewilltell Sun 21-Aug-16 08:52:08

I'm guessing that's it then! Also minimal or no make-up xx

LunaLoveg00d Sun 21-Aug-16 08:55:08

I a Mum who has boys AND girls, what does that make me? I don't really see this uniform thing that women who have girls dress one way and boys dress another. And of course not all boys are noisy and messy, and not all girls are quiet and sit still. But those are the stereotypes and there are lots of women who are very anti-boy.

My sister is the worst - I have a mix of boys and girls, she has just girls. She is always tutting and rolling her eyes when my boys are playing some sort of noisy game in the garden and running around. Her daughters would probably love to join in but know their mother disapproves of anything boisterous. Such a shame.

Butteredparsn1ps Sun 21-Aug-16 08:55:21

1DS and 2 DD here.

It's the lack of glittery stickers OP. DS has many faults. But he was never responsible for me leaving the house wearing stickers, or sitting in an important meeting and realising I have just one fingernail clumsily painted in neon pink.

Blarblarblar Sun 21-Aug-16 09:02:58

Mum of boys here and I'm a hairstyled, full face,handbag toteing one. It means nothing people say the oddest things I'd definitely ask what they mean I imagine the reply wil be wink

PinkPlastic Sun 21-Aug-16 09:07:17

Agree SMOG is foul.

I am a mum of 2 DDs. Yesterday DD1 (7) went to a boy friends birthday party. She selected her outfit - denim shorts, a funky t-shirt and light up trainers. The mum of the birthday boy anwsered the door and commented that she thought DD would come in a nice pretty party dress hmm

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 21-Aug-16 09:12:26

I have a DD too, I was just pointing out that I have very boisterous boys and I think SMOG is a nasty thing to call someone. Intended or not, it comes across like an insult of the child.

VioletBam Sun 21-Aug-16 09:12:33

Gee whizz I carry a rucksack and always wear boots and trousers and I've got two girls!

SpecialAgentFreyPie Sun 21-Aug-16 09:15:39

I dress rockabilly, but don't wear makeup and just a ponytail.

Evidently wearing skirts means I cannot have produced not one, but two children with penises hmm

AskBasil Sun 21-Aug-16 09:17:06

FGS the idea of SMOG is just another stick women have eagerly taken up in order to beat other women with. Where are the similar acronyms for men regarding their DC's, that serve to sneer at them?

Stop it. It's brainless and encourages women to sneer at each other and imagine things that just don't exist. There is no such thing as a SMOG, there is just your perception of someone's actions and words, through thr prism of stereotype.

And no, I'm not a mum of girls, I've got one of each.

annawoolfworries Sun 21-Aug-16 09:17:23

I'm very 'girly' for want of another word. When I was pregnant people kept saying I was an obvious mother of boys. Still don't know what they mean.

MrsJayy Sun 21-Aug-16 09:19:01

Oh what a strange thing to say Im a mog and I didnt know there was a uniform never had anybody say anything 1 way or other. I did have somebody say in a shop oh your son will love playing with that (starwars toy)

MeAndMy3LovelyBoys Sun 21-Aug-16 09:20:02

I always like to do my hair and makeup nice, dress feminine etc.. and I am a mum of boys and have no girls at all. I didn't think there was a dress code grin

MrsMargeSimpson Sun 21-Aug-16 09:24:17

Some of you may not like the term
'SMOG' however the behaviour of some women who only have girls is vile towards mums of boys - and the boys themselves. It exists, even if you don't like to admit and/or label it. You don't see mums of only boys judging mums of girls when they 'just sit nicely colouring' anywhere near as often.

I have both - my boys are boisterous and noisy and my girl sits nicely and colours... Then 5 minutes later they swap grin

Onlytimewilltell Sun 21-Aug-16 09:25:08

This thread just reminded me of when I was in my twenties and someone was surprised I wasn't going out for a cigarette because I looked like a smoker!! I've never smoked in my life wtaf does a smoker look like !! grin

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