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AIBU re branded clothes for my DD - luxury?

(54 Posts)
tactum Fri 19-Aug-16 20:25:07

When I grew up in '70s it was very much you need one pair of jeans (with room to hem them up and then take them down!), a few tops and a jumper or two. Having felt a bit awkward socially as a teenager because of it I was always determined to make sure my kids had more than I did and never felt like I did.

However, I'm also very much of the opinion that brands such as Hollister, Jack Wills, Adidas etc as far as clothing goes are taking the piss in terms of prices. Now my DD is a teenager she is becoming 'brand conscious' but still pretty sensible, and doesn't ask for lots of stuff. Most of her clothes are New Look/La Redoute and she really doesn't ask for much.

Her birthday is approaching (14) and she has asked for an Adidas hoodie for £45. I usually spend around £80-100 for a birthday present on the kids so this would be a major part of it. I'm just wondering if I'm being a bit mean. My view is that a New Look unbranded hoodie would be £15 and she already has 3 or 4 of that type so doesn't actually need another one. Therefore her wanting this Adidas one is a luxury.

But then I'm also wondering if I'm being a bit mean and should accept that things are just different now and these things matter much more and should take that into account.

So would you...
1. Buy her hoodie as half of her present
2. Count it as c£25 towards her present - the difference between the unbranded and branded hoodie
3. Buy it her and then get her a full present on top.

Money is not enough of an issue to affect the outcome. I guess part of me still thinks she has plenty of clothes and if she wants this thing in particular it should be a luxury. Thoughts....

Missgraeme Fri 19-Aug-16 20:27:18

The quality of the Adidas one will last way past the other cheaper ones. Buy a bigger size!! In my mind birthdays are for getting requests and Xmas about surprises!!

SuburbanRhonda Fri 19-Aug-16 20:28:11

I would give it to her as half her present. If you get into the habit of routinely buying her clothes that are much more expensive than what you've previously bought she won't go back to the New Look stuff for sure.

YorkieDorkie Fri 19-Aug-16 20:28:37

Missgraeme I love that! Christmas for surprises - perfect smile.

NeedACleverNN Fri 19-Aug-16 20:29:45

Get her the hoody as part of her birthday gift

If that's what she wants, let her have it

Sandsnake Fri 19-Aug-16 20:30:28

Buy hoodie as half her present. Fair enough that she wants something branded but at 14 should def understand that the brand costs more and therefore she will get less than she would have done in addition.

RosaBee Fri 19-Aug-16 20:31:09

If thats what she really wants id buy it as either half her present, or give her some birthday money to go towards it.

Vinegartitsvera Fri 19-Aug-16 20:31:13

It's very important to a lot of teens to have the right stuff. I never got it and always felt a bit crappy. Ifor you can afford it get her the one she wants. The phase will pass soon enough.

coldcanary Fri 19-Aug-16 20:31:24

I'm of the same mind as you but have a teen DS who is rather fond of his sports brands. For birthday and Christmas we cover the full price of things like that with the understanding that it means less actual presents because of the budget we're working with. He deals with it or gets more presents with no brands. So far it seems to have worked!
Everyday wear I tend to look for on eBay or charity shops for all 3 of ours. DS will happily wear a pair of second hand converse (3 pairs so far) that cost around £5 per pair and DD1 has 2 pairs of DM's from eBay that cost me just under £20. If it's good quality, non wrecked stuff they really don't mind.

Cakescakescakes Fri 19-Aug-16 20:31:27

Get it for her. I remember at that age having nothing to wear similar to what my friends had and I really felt so awkward and embarrassed about it. I'm not remotely into labels at all but I think especially for teens that having a couple of 'cool' things can really help with confidence.

veryproudvolleyballmum Fri 19-Aug-16 20:32:52

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sallysparrow157 Fri 19-Aug-16 20:33:27

I've still got an adidas hoodie that I've had since I was about 16, it's lasted a fair bit longer than a cheap one from new look. Besides, it's a birthday present, it's meant to be a luxury!

TheHubblesWindscreenWipers Fri 19-Aug-16 20:33:28

Get her the hoodie. Adidas stuff is generally pretty good quality - I've had stuff of theirs that's lasted years and years.

I grew up in the 70s and 80s with a similar upbringing - make do. Now I like to be able to buy my son things I think are good quality that I never had. That doesn't mean I buy all brands - far from it, I think a big proportion are a rip off, but if there's something good quality it's worth it,

eosmum Fri 19-Aug-16 20:34:09

I'd probably get it as part of the present as she wants it so much. I think option 1 as you say she doesn't actually need one.

RJnomore1 Fri 19-Aug-16 20:34:28

They're all wearing the adidas hoodies

I think the £25 is the fairest way of doing it.

But do get her it as its within usual budget and it's what she wants 😁

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 20:35:36

I kept birthdays for branded items so a pair of trainers usually vans or a hoodie my dds have a mixture of branded and primark, newlook kept it balanced i cant afford brands buy her the hoodie as they get older the presents are just as expensive but get smaller

ijustwannadance Fri 19-Aug-16 20:36:54

She is old enough to be aware that she gets £80-£100 for her birthday and that the hoody will take up half of this.
I really don't see the issue. Her birthday, her choice.

coldcanary Fri 19-Aug-16 20:37:39

Sports Direct are having a sale on some good branded stuff at the mo, just checked with DS & his new Nike hoodie cost £28.

ScarletForYa Fri 19-Aug-16 20:37:50

Yabu.

Adidas stuff is quality. I don't agree with denying kids stuff on principle.

I wear Adidas myself, I'm not going to dress my child in something from a supermarket just to be thrifty.

Nocabbageinmyeye Fri 19-Aug-16 20:37:51

I would buy her the hoodie as half her present so basically spending what you usually would.

We are having this with dd1 (10) at the moment with adidas superstars (€90), I'll give her her usual birthday money and she can back it with family money. I don't want to encourage the label thing either, I happened to hear some advice on this on the radio the other day and they said it was best to let them have whatever they wanted by saying "I'll pay half and you pay half", it helps to desifer what they actually want and encourages them to save for it. Not for birthdays I appreciate but I thought it was a good idea when it comes to labels in general

MrsJayy Fri 19-Aug-16 20:39:24

I think you are maybe a bit caught up in the amount of parcels but at 14 she is old enough to know her hoodie is expensive

Sirzy Fri 19-Aug-16 20:39:42

Surely there is nothing wrong with wanting some "luxury" for a birthday whether that is nicer clothes than normal or perfume or whatever? Seems a perfect time for her to get the bits she really wants.

tictactoad Fri 19-Aug-16 20:40:39

It's what she wants and it's well within budget so yes. I'd get it.

Dd was desperate for a Superdry anorak windcheatery thing a few years back. It was £60 which made my eyes water a bit but it's only just bitten the dust about five years later so it ended up being a pretty good buy.

ScarletForYa Fri 19-Aug-16 20:41:18

My dd wore superstars when she was three. Only one pair. Her friends had a few pairs in different colors as well as huaraches and different converse etc.

That's what it costs to have a child.

tactum Fri 19-Aug-16 20:44:01

I'm not saying she isn't going to get the hoodie she wants, it's just a question of how I deal with it as per the 3 options on my original post - none of them say she shouldn't have it....

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