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to regret leaving London?

(102 Posts)
madhurjazz Fri 19-Aug-16 14:13:07

Its beautiful where I live, but quite deprived. Everything is a car ride away and often in winter I CBA if its dark wet and windy outside.

Ive made a few friends here (south west) but I do get the feeling thank most consider me an outsider as many have never moved more than a couple of miles in their life.

Its now near impossible for me to get back into London, my ex house is now an absolute fortune and my house has pretty much just gone up in inflation.

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 14:16:41

No . YANBU at all. I can remember reading an article back in 2009 effectively saying (in essence) that London was a more 'broad minded ' part of the country that the provinces - the reasons being what you imply in your post - more people move in snd out and it's generally more cosmopolitan etc.

I've never lived in London but I love it and would love to.

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 14:16:59

Than** the provinces

Pettywoman Fri 19-Aug-16 14:18:06

I miss it too. But I think I'd find it annoying with kids and I didn't earn enough to give them there what I can here.

I wish I hadn't sold my flat when I did, if I'd waited and done it now I'd be mortgage free where I live.

madhurjazz Fri 19-Aug-16 14:21:31

London was a more 'broad minded ' part of the country that the provinces

Thanks for saying that diplomatically, I was really struggling to say that. But I do miss the people and attitude in London, not just the amount of things there are do see and do.

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 14:24:30

I love where I live - in the provinces BUT I know full well that London is very different / somewhat in terms of the population and what it has to offer .

LurkingHusband Fri 19-Aug-16 14:29:53

I'm an expat Londoner (Birmingham) and manage to find something to miss most days sad. When I lived in London, there were at least 10 cinemas showing foreign-language films for example. And in one borough alone, there were more delicatessens (real ones too, not just ponced up sandwich shops) then in the entire West Midlands.

I must really love MrsLH smile

DameXanaduBramble Fri 19-Aug-16 14:36:49

If you love it, you love it. Have a long term plan, it gets you through, I promise!

MeLittleDuckie Fri 19-Aug-16 14:50:29

I think it's pretty narrow-minded to say one place is more broad-minded than another...

m0therofdragons Fri 19-Aug-16 14:53:45

I'm in the south west (moved from south east). Some areas here are not very broad minded but where we are in the town there are very few people who have lived here forever. I can imagine if we lived in an area like you describe it could be difficult. I met those kind of people at baby groups but we didn't keep in touch funnily enough.

BabooshkaKate Fri 19-Aug-16 14:54:33

Controversial suggestion, but could you maybe buy a cheap house or two in the rest of the country and rent them out and use that money to pay rent in London?

Mummychoochoo3 Fri 19-Aug-16 14:58:57

I love London and knew the some great places/things to do when I lived there with no children. Since moving nearly 2 years ago, I do miss it loads but I don't regret it. I'm different now and so is my life. I go back occasionally with my husband and we make an effort and enjoy our time there. Took the kids once, too much hassle on the tube and I forgot how hectic it can be.

blinkowl Fri 19-Aug-16 15:03:19

"I think it's pretty narrow-minded to say one place is more broad-minded than another.."

It's not if it really is though!

In London we lived in an area with people from all over the world, where it was rare to hear prejudiced attitudes openly aired. I regularly met people interested in talking about politics and ideas, and there was more challenging and thought-provoking arts and culture readily available.

Now I live in a part of the UK where I'm surrounded by Tories / UKIP in a very mainstream town where the Daily Mail is by far the most popular paper. The arts and culture is also pretty mainstream, it's not usually challenging in any way.

People don't really discuss politics much unless it's bloody Brexit, when people seem to think it's a great idea, based on xenophobic / racists attitudes.

I say it's more narrow-minded because it is!

I really, really miss this aspect of the part of London we lived in. We're not going back, so I'm trying to find somewhere else a bit more cosmopolitan / lefty / open minded which we can actually afford to live in!

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 15:08:59

MeLittleDuckie I know what you mean - I was reluctant to say it - and it's a very subjective thing. It's just I know someone who I could never imagine living in London as he's so used in his home town of being a huge self important person in a small pond. He loves to be 'in with' the most high profile people of his town - he's a bit 'narc' in my opinion .

London seems to have more choices especially in terms of things like graduate jobs due to its sheer size. I love where I live (provincial ) tho!!!

JeanGenie23 Fri 19-Aug-16 15:10:40

I haven't left yet because I know the moment I do I will want to come back!!

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 15:10:54

Brighton, Blinkowl?

jacks11 Fri 19-Aug-16 15:20:10

If that's how you feel, then fair enough YANBU.

That said, you moved out of London for a reason presumably? Do those reasons still stand? If so, and moving back is genuinely unachievable, I think it's possibly best to focus on the good things about where you live- or perhaps look into moving somewhere else which suits you better.

However, I do find the suggestion from a number of posters most people in the "provinces" (or anywhere outside London?) are narrow minded/ have never travelled/lived elsewhere more than a little patronising. Yes, of course the smaller places are not as culturally or ethnically diverse as London but there's a difference between that and narrow-minded.

I live rurally, and within 30 miles of where I grew up. I have lived in several large cities (including London) in both the UK and abroad. I know many people who have a broad range of experiences and some who have always lived nearby. Not had any problem integrating into the community and don't find it "narrow-minded". Obviously, activities and amenities are nowhere close to the breadth and depth you'd find in London but not all poorly educated, backward yokels either.

Moving to a new area is difficult, and making friends takes time and effort. It can be a lonely time. However, I have often found those who say they are treated as "outsiders" are the people who don't make a huge amount of effort to get involved in the local community either.

I know of one person who felt ostracised for being an outsider was actually incredibly patronising/condescending about the locals and the area (which she had chosen to move to!) and was very keen to inform us about the lack of "cultural opportunities" and how where she had moved from was much superior. I'm not saying that is you, OP, but maybe worth considering how much effort you have made to integrate into the community?

jacks11 Fri 19-Aug-16 15:27:42

In London we lived in an area with people from all over the world, where it was rare to hear prejudiced attitudes openly aired. I regularly met people interested in talking about politics and ideas

You realise that being interested in politics, current affairs both domestic and foreign and so on is not exclusive to those living in London? I know as many people who are interested in the world around them where I am now as where I live in London.

I think racism/sexism/ageism/homophobia etc are all alive and kicking in London too. I take your point about ethnic diversity and greater access to challenging art/theatre though, undoubtedly London has a huge advantage there. I have found if you look for it you can be surprised what is out there.

Tomselleckhaskindeyes Fri 19-Aug-16 15:27:58

Well I'm from yorkshire and we actually got running water and electricity last week. wink

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 15:28:12

jacks11 I get what you're saying maybe I should've used the word 'variety' instead of 'broadminded'

MiddleClassProblem Fri 19-Aug-16 15:29:23

I miss it too x

WoburnSands Fri 19-Aug-16 15:30:37

I'm missing it and have never lived there!

anotherdayanothersquabble Fri 19-Aug-16 15:34:43

I completely understand! We moved, London house price doubled, move to the country house value dropped in the 2006 crash and took years to recover.

We moved again and I have a mental check list of the reasons we are here and the good things about it. I make sure I 'mindfully' make the most of it as often as I can reminding myself of what we made the sacrifices and compromises for.

Life is a series of compromises, and right now is a chapter between the past and the future. You can't predict the future but you can affect it so if you need to change, then work towards it but don't forget to make the most of right now too.

IamtheDevilsAvocado Fri 19-Aug-16 15:37:09

Born and bred in South West... Lived and loved London... Had to leave cos of cost.... Hell yes I miss it!

in smaller towns which are often monocultural... People do tend to be inward looking... Many of my school pals haven't left the postcode... Theu are often suspicious of incomers... I no longer feel at home in my home town!

Arts and culture are mainstream... There is often no 'edge' to anything!

Unluckycat1 Fri 19-Aug-16 15:39:16

Ooh, I could have written your opening paragraph. I miss a lot about London, the culture mainly I guess, the never ending list of things I could do with the kids.

I don't miss living in teeny tiny places though. I like having a big detached house and a garden. I'd rather have the big house in London mind grin I prefer the sense of community here and seeing the same faces a lot and actually chatting with people that you recognise rather than avoiding eye contact.

I make sure I visit London as much as I can and then overdo it with the art galleries etc so I don't feel like I'm missing out too much.

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