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Or just over sensitive?

(26 Posts)

I'm genuinely not sure!

Bought tickets for DFriend and I to go to the theatre as a Xmas treat for her (she loves the theatre but financially can't afford to go anywhere near as often as she'd like)
Now I grant you, the seats weren't amazing (halfway up the circle) but you could see everything that went on and having seen the production before but from the circle, I can absolutely say they were perfectly fine.

We had a lovely night but anytime it comes up in conversation she always says along the lines of "oh god those seats were so high I thought we'd fall down" "I'd like to see it again but from better seats" "I'd never choose seats that high up myself, we were in the gods!" "It was a brilliant play but God, those seats were high..."

And it's really grating tbh, I don't have a lot of spare cash myself but I thought she deserved a treat after a shit year so I treated us...were they the best seats? No but they were pretty damn good for what I paid...even if they weren't amazing, surely you just graciously accept the gift then shut up about it

Im actually pretty hurt each time she says it but I actually don't know if I'm just being over sensitive

tofutti Fri 19-Aug-16 06:20:11

YANBU. She sounds ungrateful. If she's mentioning it often then I think she's doing it deliberately.

Does she bring up the the theatre trip? Could she be hinting for another trip, this time with expensive seats?

Next time she mentiins it it, I would say something like 'Hey, it was a free trip to the theatre for yiu, don't knock it.'

BugPlaster Fri 19-Aug-16 06:29:30

NU. Be blunt with her, she may not realise she's doing it and it's going to do damage to your friendship. You did a lovely thing.

MajesticSeaFlapFlap Fri 19-Aug-16 06:32:01

'Do you realise how ungrateful you sound, the tickets were a gift'

I agree, Be blunt.

EarthboundMisfit Fri 19-Aug-16 06:41:12


Champagneformyrealfriends Fri 19-Aug-16 06:43:05

I'd say , "I'm really sorry but I bought the best ones I could afford." Then wait for her apology.

Euphemia Fri 19-Aug-16 06:43:26

Say "Next time I'll spend the money on a good seat for myself, and you can stay at home."

chocoLit Fri 19-Aug-16 06:50:05

How horrid of your ungrateful friend sad I agree and would call her on it.

DoreenLethal Fri 19-Aug-16 06:51:15

Or 'If you didn't like those seats why didn't you get better ones?'
Her: 'Oh, you bought them'
'Exactly - next time I shan't bother getting you one and will go on my own or with someone who won't spend 9 months whingeing about them.'

fabulous01 Fri 19-Aug-16 06:53:50

How about saying .... Yes I know what you mean. Let's next time save up and we can buy better ones ....

Booboostwo Fri 19-Aug-16 07:12:42

Say "Well it's your turn to treat me next time and I can't wait to see the lovely seats you will buy".

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Fri 19-Aug-16 07:53:36

I had similar with a friend - took her away to London, to a show she desperately wanted to see, the works. She moaned the entire time. Have to say I never bothered again!

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Fri 19-Aug-16 07:54:27

Forgot to say YANBU.

acasualobserver Fri 19-Aug-16 08:01:56

I wonder if she's entered that sort of madness where you know you've said something wrong but you repeat it nonetheless in the absurd hope that it will sound better the next time.

MadHattersWineParty Fri 19-Aug-16 08:04:11

I was always taught that if someone has paid for something you don't bloody moan about it!!

I had similar when I bought my freind an afternoon tea for her birthday at a really nice hotel. It wasn't cheap and it was meant to be a treat and every time we'd passed this bloody hotel she'd always mention how much she'd like to go to afternoon tea there, so I thought she'd be really pleased.

But the sandwiches weren't right, she was disappointed they didn't serve her favourite cake, it was noisy, she thought it would be so much better, on and on and on. Height of rudeness in my opinion, shows a real lack of manners.

Is it really so hard to thank someone and keep the negative thoughts to yourself?

Thanks all, I've genuinely been wondering if I'm just being a bit of an idiot about it.

I just feel really disappointed about it, I was so excited to give them to her and take her but it's really soured what was a lovely evening.

She was given tickets for a different show by her boss and they were amazing seats (tickets were £135 each so top price) and she's always saying (when the subject of theatre comes up) how amazing they were...well I don't have £300 to spend on them but I did my damn best.

A few times when she's said it I've said "well they were what I could afford, I know they weren't perfect but it's what I could afford" but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

If I'm honest, I'm hurt over it, which may be over the top but I'm hurt that all she can do is complain about the seats when I put a lot of thought into it and spent more money on them then anyone else got spent on them that Xmas

Thanks all

StillDrSethHazlittMD Fri 19-Aug-16 08:37:21

She's a bitch.

witsender Fri 19-Aug-16 08:39:20

Yeah, I'm not sure I would be so keen on her after this.

You sound like a lovely friend.

MrsBobDylan Fri 19-Aug-16 08:42:13

I think, because of the repeated nature of her complaint, you would be entitled to tell her that you feel hurt by her saying that. Also, never to do anything nice for her again. She sounds really rude. Yanbu.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 19-Aug-16 08:42:33

Be blunt. "I got them as a gift, every time you go on about how crap the seats were it feels like you're throwing that back in my face. Is that what you are meaning to say?"

LagunaBubbles Fri 19-Aug-16 08:46:09

How rude and ungrateful, yanbu.

PeggyMitchell123 Fri 19-Aug-16 08:50:33

How rude and ungrateful. My stepmom recently paid for me to watch Matilda. The seats were on the very back row of the theatre. I of course only thanked her and didn't comment on the seats because it was a treat for me that I would not have seen otherwise.

Be blunt with her.

TheViceOfReason Fri 19-Aug-16 09:00:53

Honestly when you've tried to be polite and make the point you did your best and she's still harping on, i'm afraid i'd snap and probably bark "don't worry, i'll not bother again, especially given my family went without for me to afford them as a treat".

40somethingwonderful Fri 19-Aug-16 09:12:18


How ungrateful, I wouldn't bother again, or perhaps buy her the best seats at the local cinema😀

A friend treated me to a play for my birthday, We were sat in front of a post and it obscured my view so I had to crane my neck round to see action from the other side of the stage, I loved the fact she managed to get tickets for the play at all and was very grateful.

You sound like a lovely friend, whereas she does not.

cassiewoo Fri 19-Aug-16 09:35:23

If she's such a good friend, tell her how upset she's making you.

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