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It's a train thread! Woo woo! Aibu to punch her...

(32 Posts)
SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 22:11:28

No. I won't physically punch her. Grab her huge ass crisp packet and force it down her throat maybe...

I can't stand the loud russle russle russle crinkle crinkle crinkle chomp chomp fuckedy chomp anymore. How many fecking crisps are in that bag?

Oh and I'm not the only one. I see three other twitchers holding themselves in. Eyes twitching, fingers squeezing and everything.

I know it's public, I know the public suck, I know I should drive so no one could piss me off but...she's bloody annoying and I want to moan.




JustGettingStarted Thu 18-Aug-16 22:12:42

Get your own bag of crisps and be noisier. Drown her out.

Arsenicinthesugarbowl Thu 18-Aug-16 22:14:18

YANBU. Wait till she starts licking the salt off her fingers! Then you will know true suffering.....or clattering a boiled sweet round her mouth shock

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 22:16:13

Ohhhh sucky fingers! Noo! That's not true. that's the stuff of campfire horrors. It's not true I tell you!

It's not! Nooooooooo!

Kpo58 Thu 18-Aug-16 22:17:29

I remember one time that I was on the bus and a school boy was slurping a lollipop. I was very close to ramming it down this throat. angry

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 22:18:17

I can't. Seriously it's like she is chewing on small animal bones.

crunch chomp crinkle crinkle

I never knew one persons gob could fecking cause this much tension.

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 22:19:55

I have made eye contact with a fellow twictcher and when I did another gave a knowing look/nod.

We could kill her together...

crunch crunch chomp chomp crinkle fucking crinkle

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 22:21:19

kpo you should have and then hung his lifeless body from the top deck as a warning for other slurpers and suckers.

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 18-Aug-16 22:31:23

Peace and love please

MsMarvel Thu 18-Aug-16 22:34:34

I eat crisps on the train... But i also work long days without being able to stop for lunch so by the time im getting my train home, its either put uo with me eating a snack or help pick me off the floor after fainting...

Btw, i also lick my fingers after as well grin

ophiotaurus Thu 18-Aug-16 22:43:36

Play a youtube video of somebody eating crisps even louder than she is!

ophiotaurus Thu 18-Aug-16 22:45:32


LizzieVereker Thu 18-Aug-16 22:50:34

Olivia - I just spent ages wondering "ERM. ERM. Hmmm, what does ERM stand for? Eat, repeat, murder...Every Reader Matters?"
Then I realised it was not an acronym.

Anyway, sorry. As you were.

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:11:51

madam President ::nods::

Pssst I think it's Olivia eating the crisps...

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:14:57

ophiotaurus that is the exact noise! But add in the ever longing crinkle of the packet to find what is apparently the perfect crisp to eat. Loudly. I'm off the train now but the noise, the noise it lingers in my brain!

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:20:40

Ms you devil! I bet you don't take breaks on purpose just to suck your fingers on the train and wind us normal thats a reach folk up!

Ketchuponpizza Thu 18-Aug-16 23:25:55

I hate threads like this where people openly mock strangers. People are allowed to eat. If you don't like it, move. Absolutely no need for the personal comments. So what if she carries a few extra pounds? Does that not make her entitled to eat? Are you so frickin perfect?

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:26:18

Now I have the harmonic sound from my window of two foxes in relations. It's still preferable to manic chomp lady.

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:28:48

Urm I never said she was a large woman. That's an assumption you made all on your own...

Stick that in your pipe.

Ketchuponpizza Thu 18-Aug-16 23:30:44

My bad, I misread 'huge ass'.


Build a bridge and get over it.

Room101isWhereIUsedToLive Thu 18-Aug-16 23:30:48

The last long train journey I took, this man was eating a sandwich, which he was doing in a bit of a slurpy chomping way (he had gotten on the train after me and sat opposite). So I was mightily relieved when the sandwich was finished. Except then it got worse. He started sucking his teeth clean REALLY loudly. At first I contented myself with dirty looks but it just got to a point where I couldn't not say something (it must have been going in for ten minutes at that point), so I said to him 'stop doing that please, its a disgusting noise that is making me feel physically ill'.
He started trying to do it but quietly. As soon as we got to the next station and there were other seats available,I got up and moved, it was that or strangle him.
I think we need public information films reintroduced with such topics as "Eating and public transport; how to avoid inciting rage in fellow passengers".

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:37:26

Ketchuponpizza you make me laugh.

Room101 like those scary Canadian public service announcements about meth! That could work! You're a genius!

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 18-Aug-16 23:37:37


Olivia - I just spent ages wondering "ERM. ERM. Hmmm, what does ERM stand for? Eat, repeat, murder...Every Reader Matters?"
Then I realised it was not an acronym.

Anyway, sorry. As you were.



*madam President* ::nods::

Pssst I think it's Olivia eating the crisps...

I don't eat crisps when I work.

SuperManStoleMyPants Thu 18-Aug-16 23:42:05

What about on your commute hmmm?????

::Eyes Olivia suspiciously::

PresidentOliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Thu 18-Aug-16 23:45:55


What about on your commute hmmm?????

::Eyes Olivia suspiciously::

Don't take the train......

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