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AIBU?

To still be fuming and have expected shop security to do something?

21 replies

atomsandphysics · 18/08/2016 18:15

Name changed so I am not outed.

In a shop today with dd who has additional needs both learning difficulties and also mild physical. She also has as a result low confidence, struggles socially and we have been working on her independence. I have been trying to encourage her to go to the till and pay as she won't.

Anyway dd was to the side of the aisle choosing what she wanted. An older lady was also in the aisle and had one of those shopping carrier things on wheels so admittedly she was in the way. I therefore kept dd as much to one side as possible as I too get annoyed when aisles are blocked but dd was walking slowly (due to her disability).

A woman wanting to get passed did not say excuse me to which I would have moved but simply shoved dd out of the way and started a tirade of abuse at her, i'm sick of fucking people like you, fucking move, she had one of those baskets on wheels full of stuff and pulled it up in the air nearly hitting dd in the face. She nearly bumped into someone else as a result and called dd a bitch.

I said something and just got glares from her and the people with her. In the meanwhile the security guard just stood there and said nothing.

I am still bloody cross about it.

I am also pretty sure it was the same scumbag who's picture I have seen this week as being abusive to a family with an autistic 8 year old on a plane back to my nearest city because there child was upset and she was hung over from Ibiza which is making me angrier.
I would have made more of a fuss if I hadn't known it would upset dd more.

OP posts:

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ArmySal · 18/08/2016 18:18

She sounds ridiculously out of order, bit of a stretch to claim it's the airplane woman though, given the photo shows a quarter of her face, from the side

Gazelda · 18/08/2016 18:19

Terrible. I'd be emailing the store manager to ask him to have a word with his security guard and ask him how how might have handled the situation differently. While the SG may not have wanted to risk a situation escalating, there is no excuse for the aggressive manner and language from the woman.

But I wouldn't make any reference to your suspicions about the identity of the woman - that might come across as tittle tattle.

ThatsMyStapler · 18/08/2016 18:20

How do you know it's airplane woman?

WorraLiberty · 18/08/2016 18:23

What are the chances of it being Ibiza woman, especially when (according to an earlier thread), the photo only showed the side of her face anyway?

You should have had a word with security.

The woman sounds a little unstable to say the least.

atomsandphysics · 18/08/2016 18:23

I don't KNOW it was the same woman but the features, hair and what you can see on the picture are very similar.

Even if it isn't she clearly has the same shit attitude.

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 18/08/2016 18:26

Why did you not call the security guard over and point out that your daughter had been physically and verbally abused?

bibbitybobbityyhat · 18/08/2016 18:28

Honestly, it's really unlikely to have been the aeroplane woman. She will have seen herself all over Facebook by now, why would she repeat the unpleasant behaviour?

What did you say to her? I would have shouted the shop down. Are you sure the security guard witnessed it all?

NerrSnerr · 18/08/2016 18:33

It must have been really horrible for your daughter but it is unfair that you're blaming the plane lady for this. We don't actually know what the lady on the plane did as we only have the other person's side of the story and she is being bashed again on here when you are not certain if it's her.

Amelie10 · 18/08/2016 18:36

That would be some coincidence if it was the same woman

atomsandphysics · 18/08/2016 18:39

The security guard was stood right by us and said/did nothing.

Fair enough I won't blame the airplane woman. As I said the features where very very like what you can see on the photo.

Maybe I am just hoping there aren't two (allegedly) vile people in my neighbourhood.

Anyway clearly IABU and just angry so will accept that. Just bloody cross as it is a nightmare getting dd to go to the till or speak to anyone and idiots like that can put our efforts back months :(

Anyway it's done I guess.
Thanks all.

OP posts:

davos · 18/08/2016 18:41

I agree with nerr

Yanbu to be annoyed and upset.

Yabu to attribute it a random woman because you possibly might think it was her.

You don't know what happened on that plane. But quite happy to add on some more trashing of her.

SapphireStrange · 18/08/2016 18:42

Write to the store or area manager. Your poor DD.

davos · 18/08/2016 18:43

How do you know the plane woman is from your neighbourhood?

I always fly to and from an airport 70 miles away rather then my nearest (12 miles away). Just because I use a certain airport, doesn't mean I live near it.

Jayfee · 18/08/2016 18:44

I think you should email the head office and explain your situation and ask what training their staff get for handling situations where people with disabilities are involved. That might achieve a couple of things 1) more awareness in your local store 2) an apology 3) a voucher that you can buy a treat with for you and /or daughter.

ilongforlustre · 18/08/2016 18:54

That is horrendous! What is wrong with some people?

My son has SN. We were at a local bird park a few days ago and each area has a gate that you are asked to close behind you. My son went through a gate ahead of another lady and as we have taught him left it open so she could come through (she was literally a few steps behind him). She suddenly shouts after him "You're supposed to shut gates behind you, you know! I'll do it shall I?". I am still angry that I did not point out to her that if he had shut the gate he would have shut it in her face! Instead I was taken aback and she shut the gate in my face instead ( I was a few steps behind her.) Honestly, some people.

I'm rubbish at thinking on my feet, I totally get what you're saying about your DD being set back months. At least you said something and she knows you have her back.

YWNBU to write to the store expressing your disappointment over the SG lack of support.

Hope DD is okay.

GabsAlot · 18/08/2016 19:16

security staff are usually from angenices not trained on site

doesnt excuse them doing nothing though

VladmirsPoutine · 18/08/2016 19:57

Yanbu but 99% of security staff in that setting are just there for appearance sake.

ScarletOverkill · 18/08/2016 20:02

With the best will in the world the security staff are there to limit shoplifting and nothing else.
for you and your DD though. Some people are utter shits when it comes to dealing with other people!

Pettywoman · 18/08/2016 20:08

Worra, because she thought it would have added to her dd's distress to make a fuss.

I'm not that restrained any more, I'm likely to shout.

Wherethefucksthefuckingtuna · 18/08/2016 20:23

If someone had pushed my child like that I'm not sure I could be held responsible for my actions, she's effectively physically assaulted your daughter. Report the nasty bitch to the police and ask them to review store cctv, hopefully they can put the frighteners up her if they find her and she'll think twice about treating someone like that again. I hope your DD will be ok.

Leonas · 18/08/2016 20:28

Security staff should not just be there as shoplifting deterrents. Their job is to safeguard the premises, staff and customers and so he should really have made an attempt to intervene if this woman was shouting abuse at your dd. She behaved appallingly and you are NU to be upset about that!

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