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Babysitter presuming she can bring boyfriend?

(50 Posts)
DipsyLaLa22 Thu 18-Aug-16 16:48:59

Longtime lurker, first post....

So I've organised a babysitter for this Saturday evening for a surprise evening out for my husband's birthday. Our kids are 6,3,3. Our own nanny couldn't babysit so I asked one of her nanny friends who I have met a few times, and who my kids know as they often meet up at the park etc.

So babysitting nanny has just sent me a breezey text to let me know that she's bringing her boyfriend with her. As far as I am aware, she still lives at home with her parents, and I am not happy about her using my house for alone time with her boyfriend who I have never met. It seems a bit unprofessional to me, she's a qualified nanny not a £5 an hour teenager.

I can't ask my husband's opinion as he doesn't know about our night out yet.

So AIBU to tell her no?

lionheart70 Thu 18-Aug-16 16:50:52

Of course yanbu. I would never allow a babysitter to bring anyone else round and she should know better.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Thu 18-Aug-16 16:52:06

If you don't want a stranger in your house then tell her exactly that.

If she gets snotty so be it and find someone else quick.

Dadstheworld Thu 18-Aug-16 16:52:17


As a qualified nanny I presume she has to be DBS checked? No such check on her boyfriend.

KoalaDownUnder Thu 18-Aug-16 16:52:52


Yeah, no. Not okay. What is she thinking?!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Thu 18-Aug-16 16:54:13

Wouldn't bother me at all, but I appreciate it may be in the minority

FlyingElbows Thu 18-Aug-16 16:54:34

Yanbu at all. Call her and tell her that that's not acceptable to you.

MindSweeper Thu 18-Aug-16 16:55:06

'Hi, I'm not comfortable with that, I arranged for you to babysit not for you to bring along your boyfriend too. If you're not okay with that just let me know and I'll find someone else. Thanks'

Amelie10 Thu 18-Aug-16 16:57:16

Yanbu at all!! Wth is she thinking. Actually cheeky of her to casually slip that in, rather than actually asking. No ways would I be ok with this.

littlenicky61 Thu 18-Aug-16 16:57:33

I wouldnt be happy with an unknown boyfriend coming into my home and I am suprised as a professional she even asked and considered it may be possible. She is after all getting paid to watch your children not socialize with her boyfriend. It would make me feel bit uneasy tbh and I would prob ask someone else .

ArmySal Thu 18-Aug-16 16:59:46

Umm, No.

DipsyLaLa22 Thu 18-Aug-16 17:00:35

Thanks everyone. I was a little hmm at her telling rather than asking.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue Thu 18-Aug-16 17:00:50

I'm a cheapy part time babysitter and it'd never occur to be to bring a friend or partner! Book, yes; ipad, yes; people, no!

YelloDraw Thu 18-Aug-16 17:02:27

Yeah just say "sorry, would prefer it if you didn't bring your boyfriend. Please let me know if you can still babysit or if I need to find someone else. Thanks"

FurkinA Thu 18-Aug-16 17:03:21

Is probably ditch her based on that tbh.

LikeIGiveAFrock Thu 18-Aug-16 17:05:01

To be honest it probably wouldn't bother me

weeblueberry Thu 18-Aug-16 17:05:25

I'd assume even if you tell her not to bring him he'll turn up once you're gone.

But then I'm a cynical bitch.

Disappearingchocolates Thu 18-Aug-16 17:07:34

I think I'd find someone else. It'd make me feel uncomfortable that she's just assumed it was okay to have someone I didn't know around my kids and in my home when I wasn't around. What else will she assume is okay.

DipsyLaLa22 Thu 18-Aug-16 17:08:40

So she has decided not to babysit after all as she assumed she could bring her boyfriend. Great.

Anyone fancy babysitting for me? wink

SarcasmMode Thu 18-Aug-16 17:11:52

Like little it would worry me about her professionalability (not a word I know!) in considering doing this. It would be different IMO if the children had already met him and liked him when you were there, but that isn't the case here.

Why would she think it was appropriate?

I'm surprised other parents haven't said no to this request really.

How old is she? 18?

Surely she can spend time with the boyfriend in her own time? If not, that's hardly your problem.

It's rude to tell instead of ask, too.

I'd personally get someone else who behaved a lot more professionally and I'm not someone who is bothered by most things (help yourself to my food, bring a treat for the kids, bring some dvd's to watch etc) but the man hasn't been CRB checked and the kids don't know him, either.

But if you can't just text her saying you'd rather she didn't bring him. Something like,

Thank you x I will see you at x.xxpm. As the children don't know Y I request you don't bring him with you. I'll leave all contact details on the fridge. Thanks for helping out, Dispy

SarcasmMode Thu 18-Aug-16 17:13:14

Oops cross posted.

How bloody rude!

That would really piss me off.

When is it and what part of UK you in? Any professional babysitters on the sitters website?

SleepFreeZone Thu 18-Aug-16 17:14:20

Bloody hell how unprofessional of her!!!

Vickyyyy Thu 18-Aug-16 17:15:18

Not ok...who brings their partner along for their work shifts?! lol

I could 'forgive' it if this was a teen being paid a few quid to do it as a favour for you, but definitely not as someone who does it for an actual living.

expatinscotland Thu 18-Aug-16 17:17:21

Wow! VERY unprofessional and no, YANBU. I wouldn't want some random in my house.

MardyKnickers Thu 18-Aug-16 17:18:13

I'd babysit on Sat

No friends or life me!!!

Awwwwwwwwww sad

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