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She's a GIRL

(244 Posts)
Cashewnutts Thu 18-Aug-16 11:36:50

I'm fed up with my 4month old being labelled as a boy. Near enough every time I'm out with her, someone will remain to her as a he: how old is he? Isn't he cute! Oh look at him etc.

AIBU to be increasingly rude to these people when correcting them? Of course it's always random strangers and never the same ones, I'm just hugely fed up with correcting people, especially when she is clearly wearing girls clothes. (Or at the very least, something that identifies her as a girl such as a girls sun hat or cardigan)

Just to illustrate, here are some of the outfits she's been wearing when people have assumed she's a boy. We also have a Cosatto pram with blue and orange pattern but IMO it's very non gender specific.

BendydickCuminsnatch Thu 18-Aug-16 11:38:42

DS wears neutral clothes sometimes and doesn't have much hair and often gets mistaken for a girl. The other day a mum was like 'oh Torquil, watch out for this little... Person!' grin

It could not bother me less.

SolomanDaisy Thu 18-Aug-16 11:40:22

People used to mistake my DS for a girl all the time. He has quite a 'pretty' face and I didn't realise that people see purple and red as 'girl' colours. It doesn't really matter though, they're just saying it's a cute baby and unless you're looking at their genitals they're really no different. I didn't even bother correcting people.

NavyandWhite Thu 18-Aug-16 11:40:35

Some people see blue and assume boy.

Put her in pink if it bothers you that much.

StormyTeaCup Thu 18-Aug-16 11:40:40

Just try and let it wash over you. People often mistake my son for a girl despite being in what I think are quite boyish clothes. I tell myself he just has a pretty face! grin

SmallButPerfect Thu 18-Aug-16 11:40:54

I get this all the time with DD 14m it doesn't bother me unless I've dressed her in a pink frilly dress and white tights because then it's pretty obvious she's a girl not a boy-!

MardyGrave Thu 18-Aug-16 11:41:07

Why does it bother you? Newborn babies aren't very gendered apart from at baby changing times.

OhhBetty Thu 18-Aug-16 11:41:52

I just can't get worked up about things like this! You know she's a girl so it doesn't really matter. She's 4 months old, it won't scar her for life.

StrawberryQuik Thu 18-Aug-16 11:42:33

I saw that in mothercare and wanted to buy it for DS but they didn't have any in the right size.

Why does it upset you? People think my DS is a girl sometimes but I just correct them.
'ooh she's lovely, what's her name?'
'Thank you, he's Christopher' (not really)

I think people just take a quick look in a pram and make a generic complement.

Jackiebrambles Thu 18-Aug-16 11:42:41

Honestly, I really wouldn't care. My daughter got the same comments, when wearing full on pink! People are just trying to be nice, saying 'isn't he lovely' or whatever. I rarely corrected them. Wouldn't want them to feel bad when I literally couldn't give a shit.

I had a boy first and nobody ever called him a 'she'. I think some people thing all babies are 'he' by default!

JazzAnnNonMouse Thu 18-Aug-16 11:43:26

I think what you're wanting someone to say is that the outfit examples you've chosen to show are mostly blue and blue is a boy colour.

I dress my children (girls) in all colours including blue too. They've never been mistaken for boys though.

At 4 months babies still just look like babies and have no obvious gender imo. Lots of people may well assume boy if in blue though.

CathFromCooberPedy Thu 18-Aug-16 11:44:03

Dd1 was in pink head to toe dh and his pink princess and a little old lady said how old is he. I said she's a year and the poor lady was very embarrassed but l found it hilarious.

But yanbu to be annoyed if that's how you feel smile

MarcelineTheVampire Thu 18-Aug-16 11:44:53

OP my DD gets mistaken for a boy all the time, even when I have her in dresses.

TBH it really doesn't bother me as all babies look androgynous IMO. So I think you ABU and a little sensitive....

LuchiMangsho Thu 18-Aug-16 11:44:59

This is why I am paranoid about saying 'oh what a lovely boy/girl' to people. To me those clothes are girly but could easily have been worn by DS as a baby. He had long hair even as a baby and was always being mistaken for a girl.
I would never have cared if DS was mistaken for being a boy to be honest. I am not sure it's worth getting that worked up about.
What I did find offensive was someone who said to me 'She is very pretty.' I said: I agree but she's a boy. And laughed. Lady looked baby DS in his buggy and said: you have beautiful eyes. What a waste on a boy. So much better had you been a girl.
WTF?!

Jackiebrambles Thu 18-Aug-16 11:45:00

Cute outfits btw.

Get her a bow for her head? No, please don't grin

Dogsmom Thu 18-Aug-16 11:45:05

The first colour I see on all those outfits is blue so at a glance I'd assume the baby was a boy especially in a blue and orange pram.

I think most babies look like boys until they get long hair, dd1 had hardly any hair until she was way past her first birthday and was often mistaken for a boy even when she was all in pink.

Yabu for being rude to people though, they are cooing over your baby and saying she's beautiful it doesn't matter one bit to them what's between her legs they're complimenting her, would you prefer if they say "aww isn't 'it' cute".

SquedgieBeckenheim Thu 18-Aug-16 11:45:41

My dd got mistaken for a boy when wearing a pink flowery dress! I think people just default to boy. It's annoying, but not much you can do. When asked "how old is he?" I just responded "she's x months old". People either just carried on or apologised.

SnotGoblin Thu 18-Aug-16 11:45:48

You will be unreasonable to be rude to people when correcting them. I purposely dressed my DD in neutral (or actual 'boys' clothes) and was always told how cute my son was. If it was a random person in the street comment I'd thank them and move on. If I was feeling tetchy, I'd let them know she was a girl and watch them squirm to tell me how pretty she was.

People rely on the colour cues with newborns but you know that already. If it bother's you, put her in pink or suck it up.

drspouse Thu 18-Aug-16 11:47:07

People often apologise when I say her (very clearly girl's) name but I say that I don't care and neither does my 2 year old so there's no need to apologise.

Ihatechoosingnames Thu 18-Aug-16 11:47:10

My son used to get called a girl all the time up til about the age of 2, it isn't something I'd get worked up about. I wouldn't even correct them most of the time. Random people really don't care what sex your child is they're just trying to make conversation. Doesn't really happen to my DD who is 10months but it wouldn't bother me now either tbh.

Cashewnutts Thu 18-Aug-16 11:47:26

jazz it was just a random selection from what I could remember her wearing! I see what you mean though! Really didn't do that on purpose!

mardy I don't know why. Partly because I'm just a grumpy person and partly because I just don't like the assumption.

Thanks though. I did think it was a bit ridiculous to get annoyed. I heard my tone of voice when I corrected someone today and thought I'd ask! grin

MiscellaneousAssortment Thu 18-Aug-16 11:47:54

Sounds like the blue on the pram is switching off people's brains! confused Idiots.

Ignore or prepare a snippy reply, the choice is yours smile.

I love that kite dress and the pineapple top too.

The rude and over bearing midwife on the post natal ward insisted my newborn boy was a girl.
She kept 'correcting' (interrupting) me when I said 'he, him, his' etc. and made comments about how rubbish I was that I couldn't even remember I'd just given birth to a girl (err, with a willy). I was very ill after and sad to say, I couldn't cope with her aggressive behaviour and actually called my DS a girl a couple of times to minimise the time spent interacting with the stupid nasty woman. blush

Gender isn't important right up until someone gets it wrong for no good reason!

SacharissaCrisplock Thu 18-Aug-16 11:48:11

My dd is six months old and it's really hard to tell if she's a boy or girl, she's got no hair and mostly wears fairly gender neutral clothes. It doesn't bother me when people get it wrong but if it bothers you maybe put something super girly on the pram or something as another clue for people?

SapphireStrange Thu 18-Aug-16 11:48:20

I don't think you need to be rude to people. What does it matter?

Porcupinetree Thu 18-Aug-16 11:48:59

My DD was always being called he or him whilst dressed in pink (I like the colour so have a biscuit).

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