My wonderful grandad passed away 2 weeks ago after a very short illness (less than 3 weeks from diagnosis to death). The illness was very intense and I spent a lot of time at the hospital staying overnight with him when time allowed etc. I also work shifts and until he died I was still going to work. Whilst a death is always stressful this was complicated by the fact that my sister who lives abroad was due to get married last weekend which we had to attend. We felt as though we were wishing my grandad away as the thought of him dying whilst we were away was so hard to bare.
Anyway he died 2 weeks ago tomorrow. We flew out for the wedding 6 days later, in those 6 days wedding prep took over, I set aside my grief in many respects and did have a lovely time at the wedding although there were aspects of it that were bittersweet, the loss of our grandad did not spoil events. We flew home on Monday, my husband returned to work yesterday, it is of course school holidays and I have had the children (6 and 12) to entertain. They've taken the loss of their great grandad in typical youngster fashion, very matter of fact and 'ok' about it.
I feel like I haven't had 5 minutes to grieve, to get upset and cry, every time I try I get interrupted by a child wanting something or laughing and dicking about or squabbling. I know, it's just kids being kids but I feel like I haven't had time to breathe.
The funeral is tomorrow. I'm picking my sister up from the airport tonight, a half hour journey away. I was going to use it as a bit of time alone with my thoughts and then with the person closest to me who knows how I'm feeling (my mums grief is obviously different to mine). Except my dad wants to come now too as he thinks it will be nice for my sister. DH has announced he has to work tomorrow morning and whilst I do understand I'm desperately disappointed as I'd wanted him to take the kids out for an hour or two so I could just have a bit of time with my thoughts. I'm back at work on Friday and just know that if I don't get some time to myself before then I'm going to be an emotional mess.
Aibu or should I just try and suck it up, have a good cry at the funeral and pull myself together?
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AIBU?
To just want a couple of hours to myself to grieve?
21 replies
MrsLouisTomlinson · 17/08/2016 18:45
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