My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

AIBU?

do you turn on the water works for sympathy

68 replies

mrsfuzzy · 17/08/2016 16:36

my dm does this, a lot, when anything/one goes against her, drives me mad, are you a guilt tripper or a teary type, do you know one ? we won't fall out over it Smile, just interested.

OP posts:
Report
veryproudvolleyballmum · 17/08/2016 16:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sallystyle · 17/08/2016 16:38

No, I don't do that.

I know someone who does though. It's definitely used for guilt tripping.

Report
Sassypants82 · 17/08/2016 16:39

Really Very?? Why?

No OP, wouldn't cry for sympathy. Surely it would stop working very fast..?

Report
RiverTam · 17/08/2016 16:39

I don't do it for sympathy but I cry very easily when upset. I am crap with emotions and find it hard to stay calm and articulate.

Report
veryproudvolleyballmum · 17/08/2016 16:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo · 17/08/2016 16:41

I would rather staple my eyelids to the back of my own head than pull this kind of stunt.

My gran used to do it all the time. Totally ruined one family holiday with her antics.

Report
StarlingMurmuration · 17/08/2016 16:41

Like River, I don't do it on purpose but I do cry easily if I'm upset. And it does elicit sympathy, I have to admit.

Report
TheOddity · 17/08/2016 16:42

So you get angry and she cries. Why is anger superior to tears?

Report
AnaisB · 17/08/2016 16:42

Sometimes I cry easily, but I couldn't cry in purpose. How do you know your mum does?

Report
museumum · 17/08/2016 16:42

Never. But I do cry. I've tried really hard not to but I just can't understand how people stop themselves. It's like going into a sauna and not sweating, to me crying is entirely non-voluntary.

Report
Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 17/08/2016 16:42

I have never done this before as I find it very clique and exclusive, but have my first ever Biscuit.
I don't get off on the upset of others.

Report
HarryPottersMagicWand · 17/08/2016 16:43

Because women cry more than men, that's a fact. I've seen far more many women cry than men cry.

I don't do this. I hate people seeing me cry, although I cry when I'm very angry because I don't really know how to deal with it very well.

MIL does this. I have no time for it. She does it whenever someone says something that she doesn't quite like and makes a point of texting "you've made me cry" Hmm. It just gets my back up as it is manipulative.

Report
BastardGoDarkly · 17/08/2016 16:45

No. I can't imagine ever doing that, and I wouldn't want to know anyone that did.

Report
Lulooo · 17/08/2016 16:46

I have cried tactically once to get someone off my case in a abusive scenario. It was as a cry of help for others who were standing around to step in and help remove me from the situation though. The tears were not natural; I was really, really upset but not tearful. But I realised that no one else (family members who were there) knew what else had happened in private and if they knew they'd have stepped in earlier. So I cried so I could be 'rescued'. I really didn't see any other way out.

I sometimes think back to that scenario and feel ashamed. But I was being bullied and abused and was in a situation were I could not sleep, eat or drink because of the anguish it this person caused and just needed a way out there and then.

Report
KurriKurri · 17/08/2016 16:46

No I don't - my MIL used to do it when she didn't get her own way over everything - crocodile tears. XH used to do it a lot too. - Cried a lot because I divorced him for having an affair - somehow managed to make me feel like the bad guy !! (Until I got a grip)

I have no problem with people crying and being emotional - we all express ourselves differently. I tend to cry at other people being hurt and upset, I am a very soft touch in fact which is why I tend to get annoyed with people who know this and use tears to emotionally manipulate me.

I cry a lot less now than I used to - years of being manipulated have made me somewhat cynical.

My Mum is 93 and I have never ever seen her cry - not even at death of spouse and death of child - she is immensely stoical. I have seen her be sad and unhappy but it never shows through tears. 'I just need to get on with it' has always been her outlook. Maybe it's a generational thing, or just her personality.

Report
TheGruffaloMother · 17/08/2016 16:47

Nope, almost every time I cry it's out of sheer frustration Angry I rarely even cry when I'm upset. It's like tears are only programmed to come to my face in the most awkward of moments and during the occasional sad film

Report
Amelie10 · 17/08/2016 16:48

It's a horrible post and perpetuates sexist attitudes and negative attitudes towards women.

Wow who knew you could make up such nonsense over nothing .

I don't do this, but have come across a few people who are like this.

Report
whattheseithakasmean · 17/08/2016 16:48

It isn't a horrible post, it is a reasonable observation that some people cry very easily and it can be part of a manipulative guilt trip. Personally, I consider very 'on the surface' emotions to be pretty shallow - I'm not impressed by snivellers.

Report
mrsfuzzy · 17/08/2016 16:50

not a horrible post in my experience you don't know my dm or others according to some pp on here, crying because your gs wants to go home after staying with her for the day, doing odd jobs and helping her out, because she doesn't get the last best chocolate in the box ffs really ? drives my df insane, she has always been needy and wanting more, nothing is never enough, 'you're not staying for dinner ? don't bother coming next week to visit then' attitude. dad tells her she's bu so she cries. not sure why i asked this because a lot of op complain about this behaviour and sadly it's usually seems to be dm or mil's doing it.

OP posts:
Report
furryminkymoo · 17/08/2016 16:50

I don't nor do I know anyone that does.

Report
mrsfuzzy · 17/08/2016 16:51

thank you what.

OP posts:
Report
Mishegoss · 17/08/2016 16:51

I cry very easily when I'm angry or frustrated and I find it annoying. I don't want sympathy.

Report

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

HermioneJeanGranger · 17/08/2016 16:55

I cry very easily but it's not for sympathy, I'm just rubbish at staying calm!

Report
KurriKurri · 17/08/2016 16:55

How is it sexist? As I said in my post it was a man who used this on me most. How bizarre - OP mentioned her mother but never said it was a 'woman' thing.

Most of the emotional blackmailers I know (regardless of whether they use tears) are men. Which doesn't mean that men do it more than women just that my own personal experience is with men. Guilt tripping people is part of a collection of manipulative behaviours - I think there are probably equal numbers of manipulative men and women. It's a personality thing, not a sex thing.

Report
timelytess · 17/08/2016 16:56

No. Never have.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.