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do you turn on the water works for sympathy

(69 Posts)
mrsfuzzy Wed 17-Aug-16 16:36:09

my dm does this, a lot, when anything/one goes against her, drives me mad, are you a guilt tripper or a teary type, do you know one ? we won't fall out over it smile, just interested.

veryproudvolleyballmum Wed 17-Aug-16 16:37:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

U2HasTheEdge Wed 17-Aug-16 16:38:42

No, I don't do that.

I know someone who does though. It's definitely used for guilt tripping.

Sassypants82 Wed 17-Aug-16 16:39:05

Really Very?? Why?

No OP, wouldn't cry for sympathy. Surely it would stop working very fast..?

RiverTam Wed 17-Aug-16 16:39:12

I don't do it for sympathy but I cry very easily when upset. I am crap with emotions and find it hard to stay calm and articulate.

veryproudvolleyballmum Wed 17-Aug-16 16:40:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

iklboo Wed 17-Aug-16 16:41:07

I would rather staple my eyelids to the back of my own head than pull this kind of stunt.

My gran used to do it all the time. Totally ruined one family holiday with her antics.

StarlingMurmuration Wed 17-Aug-16 16:41:45

Like River, I don't do it on purpose but I do cry easily if I'm upset. And it does elicit sympathy, I have to admit.

TheOddity Wed 17-Aug-16 16:42:07

So you get angry and she cries. Why is anger superior to tears?

AnaisB Wed 17-Aug-16 16:42:11

Sometimes I cry easily, but I couldn't cry in purpose. How do you know your mum does?

museumum Wed 17-Aug-16 16:42:52

Never. But I do cry. I've tried really hard not to but I just can't understand how people stop themselves. It's like going into a sauna and not sweating, to me crying is entirely non-voluntary.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost Wed 17-Aug-16 16:42:54

I have never done this before as I find it very clique and exclusive, but have my first ever biscuit.
I don't get off on the upset of others.

HarryPottersMagicWand Wed 17-Aug-16 16:43:28

Because women cry more than men, that's a fact. I've seen far more many women cry than men cry.

I don't do this. I hate people seeing me cry, although I cry when I'm very angry because I don't really know how to deal with it very well.

MIL does this. I have no time for it. She does it whenever someone says something that she doesn't quite like and makes a point of texting "you've made me cry" hmm. It just gets my back up as it is manipulative.

BastardGoDarkly Wed 17-Aug-16 16:45:06

No. I can't imagine ever doing that, and I wouldn't want to know anyone that did.

Lulooo Wed 17-Aug-16 16:46:31

I have cried tactically once to get someone off my case in a abusive scenario. It was as a cry of help for others who were standing around to step in and help remove me from the situation though. The tears were not natural; I was really, really upset but not tearful. But I realised that no one else (family members who were there) knew what else had happened in private and if they knew they'd have stepped in earlier. So I cried so I could be 'rescued'. I really didn't see any other way out.

I sometimes think back to that scenario and feel ashamed. But I was being bullied and abused and was in a situation were I could not sleep, eat or drink because of the anguish it this person caused and just needed a way out there and then.

KurriKurri Wed 17-Aug-16 16:46:48

No I don't - my MIL used to do it when she didn't get her own way over everything - crocodile tears. XH used to do it a lot too. - Cried a lot because I divorced him for having an affair - somehow managed to make me feel like the bad guy !! (Until I got a grip)

I have no problem with people crying and being emotional - we all express ourselves differently. I tend to cry at other people being hurt and upset, I am a very soft touch in fact which is why I tend to get annoyed with people who know this and use tears to emotionally manipulate me.

I cry a lot less now than I used to - years of being manipulated have made me somewhat cynical.

My Mum is 93 and I have never ever seen her cry - not even at death of spouse and death of child - she is immensely stoical. I have seen her be sad and unhappy but it never shows through tears. 'I just need to get on with it' has always been her outlook. Maybe it's a generational thing, or just her personality.

TheGruffaloMother Wed 17-Aug-16 16:47:46

Nope, almost every time I cry it's out of sheer frustration angry I rarely even cry when I'm upset. It's like tears are only programmed to come to my face in the most awkward of moments and during the occasional sad film

Amelie10 Wed 17-Aug-16 16:48:09

It's a horrible post and perpetuates sexist attitudes and negative attitudes towards women.

Wow who knew you could make up such nonsense over nothing .

I don't do this, but have come across a few people who are like this.

whattheseithakasmean Wed 17-Aug-16 16:48:53

It isn't a horrible post, it is a reasonable observation that some people cry very easily and it can be part of a manipulative guilt trip. Personally, I consider very 'on the surface' emotions to be pretty shallow - I'm not impressed by snivellers.

mrsfuzzy Wed 17-Aug-16 16:50:12

not a horrible post in my experience you don't know my dm or others according to some pp on here, crying because your gs wants to go home after staying with her for the day, doing odd jobs and helping her out, because she doesn't get the last best chocolate in the box ffs really ? drives my df insane, she has always been needy and wanting more, nothing is never enough, 'you're not staying for dinner ? don't bother coming next week to visit then' attitude. dad tells her she's bu so she cries. not sure why i asked this because a lot of op complain about this behaviour and sadly it's usually seems to be dm or mil's doing it.

furryminkymoo Wed 17-Aug-16 16:50:43

I don't nor do I know anyone that does.

mrsfuzzy Wed 17-Aug-16 16:51:05

thank you what.

Mishegoss Wed 17-Aug-16 16:51:52

I cry very easily when I'm angry or frustrated and I find it annoying. I don't want sympathy.

HermioneJeanGranger Wed 17-Aug-16 16:55:29

I cry very easily but it's not for sympathy, I'm just rubbish at staying calm!

KurriKurri Wed 17-Aug-16 16:55:44

How is it sexist? As I said in my post it was a man who used this on me most. How bizarre - OP mentioned her mother but never said it was a 'woman' thing.

Most of the emotional blackmailers I know (regardless of whether they use tears) are men. Which doesn't mean that men do it more than women just that my own personal experience is with men. Guilt tripping people is part of a collection of manipulative behaviours - I think there are probably equal numbers of manipulative men and women. It's a personality thing, not a sex thing.

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