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AIBU?

To drink brake fluid?

271 replies

redisthenewblack · 17/08/2016 15:50

I'm not addicted though, I can stop whenever I want.

Grin

Anyone else got a favourite 'dad joke'?

OP posts:
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pegomassive1 · 17/08/2016 15:52

Oh my goodness I thought I would be coming on this thread to talk you down op!!!
Knock knock-
Whose there
Madam
Madam who
Madam foot stuck in the door...Blush

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VoyageOfDad · 17/08/2016 15:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DropYourSword · 17/08/2016 15:55

What's gut two legs and bleeds a lot.


Half a dog.

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doctoratsea · 17/08/2016 15:56

knock knock
who's there?
Europe
Europe who?
No... You're a poo

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SnakeWitch · 17/08/2016 15:56

My Dad has loads and worryingly I'm starting to use them. If a drink is really fizzy he says 'that's passed it's physical(fizzical)' I nearly said it to a bar man recently!

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iklboo · 17/08/2016 15:56

Where do cows go for a night out?

To the moo-vies.

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redisthenewblack · 17/08/2016 15:57

doctoratsea

My DS will love that one!

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WhatamessIgotinto · 17/08/2016 15:58

doctoratsea I can't wait to tell DS that joke! Grin

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yorkshapudding · 17/08/2016 15:59

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?

It was too tired

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redisthenewblack · 17/08/2016 16:01

A favourite of my grandad:

If you pour whiskey on the garden you'll never have to mow the lawn ever again...The grass will come up half cut.

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TroysMammy · 17/08/2016 16:02

What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonky.

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PeppaPigTastesLikeBacon · 17/08/2016 16:02

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer Grin

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PavlovianLunge · 17/08/2016 16:03

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.

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meddie · 17/08/2016 16:03

Whats brown and sticky

A stick

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meddie · 17/08/2016 16:04

What's pink and wrinkly and hangs out your underpants?

your mum

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MachiKoro · 17/08/2016 16:05

What's brown and sits at the bottom of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log

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NE14T · 17/08/2016 16:05

What did the cheese say when he looked in the mirror?

Halloumi!

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Mookbark · 17/08/2016 16:05

What do you call a dog on a beach?

A hotdog

Was DS2's favourite joke when he was about 3, would have him in fits of giggles every time.

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redisthenewblack · 17/08/2016 16:06

NE14T that joke is so cheesy, but I think it's grate! Grin

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NeedACleverNN · 17/08/2016 16:07

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no i-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no cock?

Still no fucking I-deer

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ofshoes · 17/08/2016 16:07

A woman came up to me and asked for a double entendre so I gave her one.

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MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 17/08/2016 16:08

:Why did the chicken cross the SS the road?
:To get to the idiot's house.
-
:Knock knock
:Who's there?
:The chicken.

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RealityCheque · 17/08/2016 16:08

What do you call a deer with no eyes?

No I-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?
Still no idea!

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs and no penis?
Still no fucking idea!

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MilkTwoSugarsThanks · 17/08/2016 16:09

I have no idea what "the SS" has the do with the chicken Confused

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MrsGsnow18 · 17/08/2016 16:11

meddie haha! I love that one!

What did the magic tractor do?
It turned into a field! Hmm

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