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To break up

(8 Posts)
toomanylols Wed 17-Aug-16 13:39:30

Ok so I'm debating about posting this the last hour. I'm in the situation where me and my partner have a child and one on the way. We fight constantly. We are not compatible. We originally loved each other but once we had our dd things went downhill. The 4 years of fighting has taken its toll.

A huge problem is the fact that I don't fancy him anymore. The spark is gone. Anytime there has been sex it's been a special occasion where I've felt obliged. We had a huge row last month and I owned up to how I feel. I've stated we are toxic towards one another. We fight daily. My family have turned their back on him because he can be so nasty if he's in a mood. The simple fact of the matter is I am not in love with him and I do not want to be with him in that way. I am hoping to co-parent our children in the most loving way possible just without mummy and daddy sleeping in the same bed. He thinks I am the cruelest woman alive and that I am breaking up this family and our kids will be the product of a broken home. I said better to be from a broken home than an unhappy one. He just reiterates all the time that I am throwing our family away. But the fact of the matter is I don't fancy him. The thought of sex with him now is just... No. I feel like an awful human being but I think better to face facts now and decide how to move forward than to bring another child into this unhappy home where mummy and daddy fight every day. Any advice?

Squirmy65ghyg Wed 17-Aug-16 13:45:30

YANBU at all.

DelicatePreciousThing1 Wed 17-Aug-16 13:47:34

No, you are being perfectly reasonable.

carefreeeee Wed 17-Aug-16 14:06:12

Why are you fighting? It's not surprising you don't fancy having sex if you are not friends.

Seems a shame to throw away a chance of a family for your children when it sounds like just a difficult patch (as you are pregnant presumably it wasn't that long ago that you were keen on him)

Is there another man on the scene, or something bad that's putting you off your partner? Eg. is he unhelpful or lazy or unkind to you?

Snowflakes1122 Wed 17-Aug-16 14:08:31

You constantly fight
Your own family think he is nasty
You don't fancy or love him anymore.
You would be wrong to stay in a situation like this. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Yanbu

toomanylols Wed 17-Aug-16 14:48:20

Thanks everyone. No there is definitely no other man. Yes he is lazy but aren't most men. I've gotten used to the laziness and stuff like that. It's the not being able to bear him touching me. He can start a fight over the tiniest thing and it's just slowly turned me off him.

Squirmy65ghyg Wed 17-Aug-16 14:53:28

Most men are not lazy.

Itsnotmyday Wed 17-Aug-16 18:54:20

Most men are not lazy

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