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AIBU?

Or is DP over 'mates rates' for decorating?

205 replies

GillBear · 17/08/2016 09:05

Moving into a house that needs a fair bit of work in a weeks time and also expecting a baby in 2 weeks.

I would normally do the decorating myself but think I'll be out of action for a while!

DP's brother is a painter & decorator. He lives up north and work is pretty thin on the ground so he struggles.

We live in the south west and have had him and his assistant down to help us paint in the past. He stays with us (we feed him) and charges £130 a day not including materials for himself, then that again for his assistant.

He's said he can come down and help with the new house but he wants more money as the week would include a Sunday and bank holiday, so £300 a day for the two of them not including materials. We'd also pay for their diesel.

DP says it's fair enough, even though they only charge £80 a day each up North. He says his brothers doing us a favour, but I think it works both ways as we're giving him work he desperately needs. DP says this is a horrible attitude and I'm taking advantage of his brother by not paying what he asks for.

Am I being a hormonal cowbag?

OP posts:
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cantshakeitoff · 17/08/2016 09:10

Do you house and feed the assistant aswell?

Why don't you get a quote in from a local decorator to see what the going rate is in your area, and then see how much you'll be saving by using his brother?

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19lottie82 · 17/08/2016 09:10

That's a lot of a decorater and a labourer.
Get some local quotes and tell your BIL you will pay him that. And no diesel money.

Being family doesn't mean he can rip you off.

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expatinscotland · 17/08/2016 09:12

That's a shitload of money if you're also to pay materials and food and lodging.

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Mouikey · 17/08/2016 09:13

How much would it cost to hire someone locally? That's the actual test, otherwise brother could charge whatever he wanted...
If he charges £80 up north that would be the basic rate for you plus extra for staying away from home plus fuel... £130 seems reasonable esp if your putting him up and giving food so the extra £50 is for being away from home rather for anything else.

Check local rates though.

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Dayna1 · 17/08/2016 09:14

I would compare local rates for similar services and then figure out if he wants too much for the job.

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NavyandWhite · 17/08/2016 09:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN · 17/08/2016 09:16

Whilst it's nice to help family that is ridiculous

You are paying for food, materials and putting them up.

I would source a local decorator who is probably struggling for work too

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monkeywithacowface · 17/08/2016 09:16

Look around for other quotes and go with the cheapest. If his brother is the cheaper option you should pay up and not expect him to lower his rates. DH never offers mates rates and if people want him to travel then he charges for that too. They have the choice not go with him. Like my DH says if he doesn't value his time and skill no one else will.

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Sonders · 17/08/2016 09:17

I always thought 'mates rates' made things cheaper, not 2.5x the price! Unless you're desperate to give the DB and his colleague an expensive gift, just find someone locally and pay the going rate.

YANBAHCB! (You are not being a hormonal cowbag!)

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GillBear · 17/08/2016 09:18

Thanks all.

They do a fair enough job.

It's more DP's attitude that is pissing me off. He knows I'm really struggling financially (it's me who's buying the house and paying to get it done up) but I feel he is still putting his brother's interests before mine.

OP posts:
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NavyandWhite · 17/08/2016 09:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 17/08/2016 09:19

Yeah I agree man, get a few local quotes and see which is the cheapest.

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FuzzyWizard · 17/08/2016 09:20

I think £150 a day seems entirely fair for being away from home over a bank holiday weekend. How many hours will they spend decorating each day?

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PuraVida · 17/08/2016 09:20

That's not cheap. Trades here in the SW are around £120 a day and that's plasterers / tilers / chippies etc who I believe are considered a bit more skilled than a painter and decorator

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TellMeSomethingNew · 17/08/2016 09:21

That's bloody expensive!!!

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SuperBoppy · 17/08/2016 09:21

I don't think so. I wouldn't expect to pay full price for my brother doing the work for me, let alone more than he usually charges strangers. The fact he is hard up for work is irrelevant. He's staying with you and gets his travel included too? He would not get that on a normal job I am sure. YANBU - he's taking the piss!!

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RhiWrites · 17/08/2016 09:22

My decorator in Oxford charges £500 a room which takes him about 5 days. He is awesome, does a super job.

Your BIL is gouging you.

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monkeywithacowface · 17/08/2016 09:22

Well your last post changes things ALOT TBH. Why isn't you dp contributing?

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nancy75 · 17/08/2016 09:23

Hang on, why are you paying for everything?

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nancy75 · 17/08/2016 09:24

If you are paying you decide who does the work.

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YelloDraw · 17/08/2016 09:25

Your BIL is ripping you off - £300 a day for a decorator and assistant, petrol and food? Jog on.

Get some local quotes.

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JaniceBattersby · 17/08/2016 09:27

So your DP doesnt live with you and you're paying? I'd be getting quotes locally. I pay £120 per day in a posh, expensive area (we're neither posh or expensive!).

I'd just get a quote for the full job if I were you and tell your husband you've found someone to do it cheaper (I reckon you will)

i also wouldn't want to be paying the same rate for a labourer as for a decorator. Unless he's also a decorator in which case I'd be expecting the job to take half the time with both of them there.

My husband's in the building trade and his labourers are all paid about £70 per day.

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Specialapplek · 17/08/2016 09:28

We are in London and were quoted £200 per painter per day, not including materials. The price you were quoted seems fair.

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KC225 · 17/08/2016 09:30

Another one who thinks you should get some more quotes. I think that sounds like an awful lot of money considering you are providing food and board. Surely those factors should make it cheaper and that is not factoring in he is a close relation. Does he see you as a down sarf cash cow?

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Baileysagain · 17/08/2016 09:30

I think that's expensive. The daily rate in itself isn't unreasonable, that's about standard but bearing in mind that you would be paying his diesel, food and board etc then it's a bit cheeky. Also, does he really need to bring his assistant?

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