AIBU to be pissed off with my friend?(10 Posts)
My bff, I'll call her Sarah, seems to have stopped speaking to me after 27 years of friendship.
She has always been quite needy/clingy and has a tendency to read wrong into a situation and then feel sorry for herself and get offended. For example; she had a minor op a while ago and I tried on 3 different occasions to ring her to see how she was straight after her surgery. It went straight to voicemail. Then I received a text asking why I hadn't bothered to get in touch and didn't I care? When I did manage to get hold of her she admitted that her phone had been turned off, but she just assumed that I hadn't bothered with her and then she got all stroppy with me!
She asked me to go on a night out with her (which I'm always up for if I have the cash) and I said I couldn't really afford it at the time as I was saving for my holiday but she kept asking and pleading. I told her when my payday was and promised to go out with her the weekend I got back. I have a small DD and a house to keep so money is always tight but I do always try to make time to see my friends. Anyway, we set a date for a couple of weeks away.
A few days ago my dh, DD and I went to a family do and I couldn't drink all day as I had to drive (which I wasn't very happy about!) We got home late in the evening and I put dd to bed and was in my pajamas when another friend, I'll call her Kelly, messaged me asking if I wanted to go out. I haven't been on a night out with Kelly (also my bff) for around 10 years, although we see each other regularly, so I jumped at the chance after being teetotal all day. She came round at about 11pm and she bought some drinks with her and we had quite a few before we got our taxi at around midnight. My dh gave me a tenner and I spent around £15 of my own money, having been paid a few days earlier. We had a brilliant 3 hours dancing and I put the pics on my Facebook page. I'm friends with Sarah's mum on there as I've known them both most of my life, although Sarah isn't on Facebook. (Sarah's mum and I will mention any interesting posts of each others to Sarah).
I rang Sarah the day after and mentioned that I'd been out with Kelly last night and then she got offended and put the phone down on me. She then texted me, after completely getting the wrong end of the stick, to say how could I do that to her and that I let her down for a night out but then went out with Kelly, even though we'd arranged a night for just over a week away (at HER own suggestion!). She said I'd only told her because her mum would have which is utter bullshit. She said we could have invited her too, which if she'd let me finish what I was saying instead of putting the phone down, she would have known we hadn't planned in advance. It was a last minute thing. She would have been in bed and she also lives in another town so it would have been the wee hours when she got here. AIBU to be furious with her? She jumps to conclusions and didn't let me explain and then is annoyed with ME like I'VE done wrong. I have nights out with Sarah all of the time and Kelly never gets offended. Sorry for the rant!! I feel slightly better now I've got that out.
Your side of the story. You did phone Sarah to try and establish how she was. Its not your doing that her phone was turned off. She seems like bloody hard work.
However I'm going to be honest. You're not without blame. When Kelly asked you to go out why exactly Couldn't you have asked Sarah along, because. That'd piss me if a friend was always blowing me out. Then next second. There's faces staring out from Facebook. Having a whale of time.
Of course she's angry. I don't blame her.
You sound very young. I can't believe you are furious with her about this. It sounds to me like you are both being unreasonable and making this into an issue when it shouldn't be one.
She sounds like a pita! I would send her one text stating the facts around what happened and that you couldn't explain as she put the phone down on you and leave it to her to come to you when she's ready to act like an adult.
This entire OP is like :
Then She Said
Then I Said
Then She Was Like
And I was like OMG Am I even bothered though?
Coupling it with Facebook and involvement of someone's Mum the entire thing just seems very immature.
If you would consider yourself mature and see her as quite immature I'd re-evaluate the friendship as it's lowering you to her level.
Wow, some people are being really harsh.
Just tell her your friend paid for the evening and that's why you could afford it. If she's still in a strip, distance yourself.
I don't always blow her out. I see her way more than I see Kelly and I'd never try and ditch her for Kelly (or the other way around) . If she lived nearer then of course I'd have invited her. It was a last minute thing and it would have taken her ages to get here. I'm annoyed because she assumed that I said no to a night with her but then went behind her back and planned a night with Kelly. I had no money the first time, which I told her and so we arranged for another time which I thought was ok. I can see why she would be annoyed and feel left out a bit but that wasn't the case at all and if she actually thought about it, she'd realise that. It was just a random, last minute thing
You did say no to a night out with her.
You told her no, that you couldn't afford it, then you went out with someone else and plastered the photos all over Facebook.
You're entitled to go out with whomever you choose but don't pretend not to know why that could be hurtful.
I let her down when I had no money to spare and went out with my friend after I'd been paid. But we HAD arranged another night for us to go out so I didn't think I was letting her down. It was her idea to rearrange for another day which was fine by me. It's all so stupid. I can see we are BOTH being a pair of idiots - her jumping to the wrong conclusions and me being inconsiderate, albeit unwittingly.
Ok are you all 16?? Seriously it sounds really petty and childish.
You planned a night out with Sarah (has this gone ahead?). You had an improptu night out with Kelly. You don't need to tell your friends where you are every second of the day.
If you HADN'T got a night out with Sarah booked cos of cash but went out with KELLY that would be mean but that wasn't the case.
I'd send one text saying we didn't invite you cls of X, Y and Z PLUS we are going out on X and i havnt invited Kelly to that oneng Give me a call if you want to sort plans for night out
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