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To not help DM with babysitting?

(4 Posts)
user1471380878 Tue 16-Aug-16 22:12:23

I have had to make a whole new MN account for this as it wouldn't let me name change (I'll head over to site stuff for that in a bit.)

I would like to know if IABU not helping DM to babysit DNs. For a bit of backstory, DH, DS and I are living with DM. There is room here and we all needed help financially so it just made sense. It's more like a house share than family living as we each pay for our own food, bills etc but share the rent. I don't ask DM to babysit DS any more than I did when we were living elsewhere (which wasn't often) and when we do it's always arranged in advance.

DBro has form for being a pisstaker. He always expects everyone to drop everything in an instant for him and throws a strop if we don't. DM can never say no to him for anything, even though I have told her time and time again that DBro will just do it more if she keeps on giving in.

He phoned DM at 10.00 last night to ask if she could watch DNiece (2). (He had phoned me too but I ignored his call.) DM, DH and I all had to be up for work this morning, although DM started earlier than usual and I was starting later. Despite this, she said yes to babysitting and proceeded to moan about it for ages after DBro had left. I went to bed and left her to it, and heard DBro arrive at about 2am to collect DN. Today, DM has been off with me because I didn't offer to stay downstairs with DN even though I knew she had to be up extra early today.

WIBU? This has to be about the hundredth time this has happened and I'm getting really tired of it all!

MuffyTheUmpireSlayer Tue 16-Aug-16 22:21:28

YANBU. Your DM is the one that said yes, not you.

Griphook Tue 16-Aug-16 22:27:47

Bar the house share I could almost have written this post. My brother is an absolute piss taker with childcare. My dm has my nieces and nephew staying 2 night every week over the summer hols so he doesn't have to get up early to drop them at her house. She's 73 and s Carer for my dad. She won't say no, but asks me round on the days she then so my dc's can play with them (basically entertain them) I've said no, and she's not to moan about having them anymore as she's can say no 'but doesn't like to upset them'

user1471380878 Tue 16-Aug-16 22:40:50

That's exactly what DM says Griphook. DBro has had some issues recently so I think DM thinks she's helping him, but she's really not. All it does is enable him to carry on making his own problems worse.

It feels like every day we're all expected to be running around doing something or other for him when he does nothing to help himself.

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