Irritated by ex!

(10 Posts)
Wigglemama83 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:38:40

Okay so this is probably ridiculous but I have 2 children with my ex-husband. We are both remarried now and for the most part get on well for the benefit of the kids. One thing that has always bothered me (and I haven't mentioned for the sake of a quiet life) is that whenever I send them to their dads they immediately change their clothes and send them home in the clothes I sent them in. I have made it perfectly clear that anything the kids have belongs to them, including, clothes, toys, shoes etc and I don't think it should matter if a particular top is at my house or theirs (esp when the majority come from asda!) obviously there are exceptions like special occasion clothes and their bigger expensive toys, but hopefully you know what I mean!!
Anyway, what has irritated me today is that tomorrow my kids are attending a christening with my ex and his wife and I am getting them ready, I offered so that they look nice and tidy and my daughters hair is done properly. a few days ago I received a text asking me to please send clothes for the kids to come home in as they don't have spares at their house......reason being they aren't sure if they have done the washing????? They have 2 young babies so unless they are buying new babygros every couple of days they must be doing some washing lol. It just seems that they can't bear the thought of the clothes they buy being at my house. I really don't understand what the problem is!

Minisoksmakehardwork Tue 16-Aug-16 17:44:17

So they can come home in the clothes they wear to the christening then, unless ex doesn't want to launder them.

Wigglemama83 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:49:53

Honestly its like they think the clothes I buy are not good enough to wear when I send them and their clothes are much too precious to send back to my house, do they think I'm going to keep them or something!

Lilacpink40 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:51:20

Sounds like they're pretentious or have weird OCD about clothes.

MrsGsnow18 Tue 16-Aug-16 17:55:58

This is a very strange attitude to have towards clothes. Surely if they are buying clothes for the children, they would rather they get as much wear out of them as possible?hmm
Each to their own I suppose. I wouldn't let it bother you too much, it's them that seem to have the issue.
Either pack a going home outfit for each or just let them come home in christening outfits.

JenLindley Tue 16-Aug-16 17:56:24

My ex does this too!!

His wife even told my son to make sure to bring back a pair of socks he was wearing home one time that were bought by them! His socks (that he had arrived in two days beforehand and that he would have been wearing home) got wet in the garden. It makes no sense to me that they change them back into dirty clothes they wore two days previously just to come home to my house in.

headinthecloud Tue 16-Aug-16 17:57:32

We don't have a disimmilar situation with my step children. Although if they wore something we bought back to their mothers it wouldn't really be the end of the world where we would say something.
For us it works out that we buy our own clothes for 50/50 split of time and her taste as opposed to ours.

HereIAm20 Tue 16-Aug-16 18:00:25

Or it could be that they don't want to ruin the clothes you send them in. They can let them get muddy and messy without the worry of what you may say. Possibly the clothes you send aren't to their taste as to what they would put kids in and therefore chose other stuff to use when in their care. I don't understand where there is a problem - 'your clothes' suffer less wear and tear that way.

davos Tue 16-Aug-16 18:00:55

I don't think it's that odd.

I know quite a few people that have had problems when mixing clothes with their ex. One parent complaining their favourite outfit hasn't been returned or the other parent isn't washing the correctly or the other parent is keeping all the 'best' clothes etc.

I imagine they are just trying to head off any issues.

ayeokthen Tue 16-Aug-16 18:02:50

Do they definitely have clothes for the kids? I told XH he'd have to provide clothes for DS as the clothes I was sending either weren't coming back (every time!) or were coming back absolutely wrecked. They promised DS a holiday, knowing that we were going away the day they got back, and a week before they left I got a list of everything he needed to take (right down to toothbrush and pants) which made it clear that they had nothing for him at all. That and the fact I had to buy two of everything as I didn't have time to do a wash between him getting back and is leaving!

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