Why do we think these people need support or are ill

[pleasemothermay1]

Thinking about responses by posters when a parent hurts or abuses there child

They they are ill or are in need of support is it that as parents our selfs we just can't accpect or get our head round that not all parents want the best for there children

And actually a lot of these people were often known to ss did have support often lied or manuliputed and rejected the support

Some parents are ill some parents just don't know any better but some parents are bad

It's like when women choose there toxic relationship over there children

They may be being controlled but this is not always the case I think it may just be for everyone else not being able to say they are being made to act like this is almost to awful to think they might want to stay with a pedofile
Rather than have there children .

[ihatethecold]

ODFO and buy yourself a bloody dictionary!

[sonlypuppyfat]

I've read it twice I still don't understand it

[VladmirsPoutine]

What are you trying to say in a nutshell? And what is the AIBU?

[Laiste]

I think i get what you are wondering.

Think about it though and you come to see that there is no diagnosis of 'just evil'. Put simply if a person is harming, not protecting or looking after their own child then you have to look for the underlying reason. Mainly with the hopes of stopping it carrying on and happening again i guess.

[pleasemothermay1]

That for some reason our default position when a parent hurts there child is that they are ill

Is it that we just can't get our heads round the fact some parents don't actually want the best for there children

[pleasemothermay1]

Sometimes there is no reason is it because there children we feel we just can't accpect people doing awful things for no aparant reason

[pleasemothermay1]

I think this is the case espically when a mother Hurts her child


It's like we just cannot conceive that a mother would do such a thing unless ill or made to by Somone

[Laiste]

But that's exactly it - the reason may not be apparent ... until you look into it.

Are you saying you don't believe mental illness? Or are you saying that people with mental illness who have committed crimes shouldn't be treated?

[pleasemothermay1]

Oh I give up I don't have the words to articulate what I want to say I being miss understood again

I try but fail I am bowing out

[practy]

Yes, sadly not all parents do want the best for their children.

[AndNowItsSeven]

Their.

[toadgirl]

And actually a lot of these people were often known to ss did have support often lied or manuliputed and rejected the support

That behaviour could, of course, be part of their illness.

[toadgirl]

It's like when women choose there toxic relationship over there children.
This is almost to awful to think they might want to stay with a pedofile

I suspect women in these situations have a history of a toxic, abusive family of origin themselves. That's not to say children shouldn't be protected, but I don't think looking at how these issues come about or trying to understand the people involved is a bad thing. In fact, I would argue it's necessary in order to break the cycle.

[Lweji]

Yes, some people just like to see others suffer and it's usually those that are most vulnerable or under their care who are the victims.

Yes, most people don't understand why some parents hurt THEIR children.
It's a huge biological drive for most people to protect THEIR children, but it does seem to fail for some.

The context in which parents hurt THEIR children is not of normality, thus.

Your post would lead to a huge discussion about evil.

I don't think people necessarily show sympathy for these mothers or fathers.
The question is whether such people can be helped or not, or just punished.

And this is TAAT, isn't it?

[TheWeeBabySeamus1]

I think if you start one thread and don't like some of the responses then the right thing to do is discuss it on that thread - not start another one.

[practy]

There are cases of mothers and fathers torturing children over many years. A tiny number of people are sadistic and enjoy other peoples pain. Sadly some of these people have children.

[MissMargie]

I don't think this. ie not 'everyone'

I think 'what happened in their childhood?' to make them like this.

I don't think that excuses them. But can go toward explaining it. And it can help to negate feelings the victim might have of 'I deserve this', or
what's wrong with me' or 'why do they hate me?'. It's not the victim it's the perpetrator who is damaged. Though the victim might end up damaged too if abused.

[MissHooliesCardigan]

I do wish people wouldn't equate mental illness with being violent and abusing children. If somebody hurts a child and claims mental illness as a mitigating factor, they will be examined by at least one forensic psychiatrist who will decide if they are mentally ill or not. The way that any mental illness is diagnosed is that there is a list of symptoms and you have to have a certain number to reach the threshold for being diagnosed with that illness. For most mental illnesses, there are several 'clusters' and you would need to have a certain number from each cluster to get a diagnosis.For depression, the number of symptoms you have determines whether it is classified as mild, moderate or severe. It's not an exact science and psychiatrists do get it wrong but, the majority of the time, they get it right.
I worked with a psychiatrist who had a relapse of her Bi-Polar Disorder after the birth of her baby. She heard the voice of Jesus telling her that the baby needed to go back to heaven and set herself and the baby on fire as she wanted to go to heaven with her. The baby died but the mum lived for a couple of weeks in a coma. If she had survived (and I'm glad she didn't), she would have been treated with total sympathy by the courts and her illness would have been treated. I also had a patient who had a diagnosis of schizophrenia who used to beat her children with belts. Her mental illness had nothing to do with her behaviour - she was examined and found to be mentally well at the time she did this and her children were removed.
For most parents, hurting or killing your children is so unimaginable that i can understand the school of thought that anyone who does this has to be 'mad'. Unfortunately, I believe that there are people who are just, for want of a better word, evil. You can argue about what makes them that way but it doesn't help to say that they have to be mentally ill to behave in that way.
'Understanding' has different meanings. I think it's a good thing to try to understand as in 'comprehend' why people do these things. That isn't the same thing as understanding as in 'empathising' .

[practy]

Some of the worst serial killers have had very ordinary childhoods, whilst some people have horrific childhoods and go on to be great adults. It is not straight forward.

[missbishi]

If she had survived (and I'm glad she didn't)

[MissHooliesCardigan]

missbishi What's the biscuit for? If she'd survived, she would have had to live with the fact that she killed the baby she spent 9 years and 4 rounds of IVF conceiving. If that was me, I would much prefer not to wake up.

[MissMargie]

I don't think I heard or read in detail what the childhoods of cruel parents were like, as a rule. Does it get mentioned in the papers? Very seldom ime.