Advanced search

How do I deal with this manipulative colleague (more of a WWYD)

(8 Posts)
theclick Mon 15-Aug-16 22:56:26

She keeps taking credit for my work in meetings - eg saying things like "we sent that to you" to my boss when she was nothing to do with the work, or "I made lots of edits to the agencies work" when I made all the edits and she did nothing.

Also - she keeps sending emails to other teams which I am copied in on saying "well from my perspective, we can do X, Y and Z". Thing is, the XYZ that she proposes are things that fall under my role - but I know she feels more comfortable in my specialism and is always trying to encroach on it and do more of it. How can I stop her from being so sneaky? It's not the sort of environment where bitchiness is tolerated.

DoveBlue Mon 15-Aug-16 23:13:33

I think you need to call her out on the direct lies. If she says she did some edits say something like 'why would you change X document I've done the edits required. Is there now two documents?'. Or when she says we sent that say ' oh have you sent a document too? Why would you do that?'. Act all confused as in your worried there are duplicate documents and why would she be wasting time when she should be doing her job.

The suggestion thing is a bit harder to deal with but if it was me - if her suggestion is valid it will make you look silly to argue or petty. If it is a good suggestion then agree and state more detail etc say if they have any questions happy to meet with them (cuts her out of all the reply to all emails) etc.
If not good suggestion make sure you reply to all stating why. This is when you might be able to then forward her emails and your replies on to management stating that her actions are causing confusion and extra work for you explaining why xyz wouldn't work.

blinkowl Mon 15-Aug-16 23:27:49

I would be more direct.

If she says "we did the edits" I would say" that's interesting, <manipulative colleague name>, what edits did you do?" and let her flounder. If she names your ones, say "no, I did that".

Also, tell your line manager, if you have one, that she is doing this.

UnicornPee Mon 15-Aug-16 23:41:30

I am having a very similar situation to you. 50% of me is annoyed and wants to drop kick her in the face.
The other 50% I just laugh inside that she clearly is clinging on to my wing knowing I'm better at our job.

The worst bit is not actually knowing if the bosses realise it's me who is putting all the hard work in and coming up with all the ideas and that she is crap at her job.

blueshoes Mon 15-Aug-16 23:42:47

Why does she do the communicating to your boss and the other teams. Can you pre-empt her by communicating directly and more with other people about your work do people know what you do and how good you are at doing it?

In other words, be more visible and blow your own trumpet more.

ImissGrannyW Tue 16-Aug-16 00:48:09

Some really good suggestions here already.

I think you do have to go to someone more senior and ask to have a conversation. It might be your colleague has form and everyone is aware. (in which case, just laugh internally and let them carry on!). If not, then you're not doing wrong by letting them know.

Also agree with calling colleague out. Suggestions above, but also "really? Can you explain that further?" "what exactly do you mean" etc.

Could you also cc colleague in when you send out docs/info with a p.s. saying you know colleague likes to be kept in the loop?

chancesareabadthing Tue 16-Aug-16 00:59:21

I'm not sure if this would work for you, but we email everything at work that might normally be spoken. So, email to her and cc all relevant parties. They will scroll on by but you have evidenced your workload if anything comes up and more importantly she will know that. It doesn't need to be offensive, my boss in the same room will tell me she is emailing me just to get it all on record, I think it's the done thing now. I email and cc higher management so they know where things are up to, I think it's seen as being efficient and ensuring everyone is in the know.

chancesareabadthing Tue 16-Aug-16 01:02:48

If she is going to take offence to you copying in higher management, you could try speaking to someone higher and suggesting it as an option. They will more than likely present it as their idea, so that they come back with being on top of the project.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now