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To be annoyed with my DM and think that you can't help some people!

(8 Posts)
HickDead Mon 15-Aug-16 21:53:23

To cut a very long story short my DM's friend helps to run a charity shop for a small local charity. A few months ago DM told me that her friend, I'll call her Jean, was worried about the future of the shop as they weren't really getting good quality donations. I attend a mother and toddler group and myself and some of the other ladies decided to have a clear out in the hope it would help the charity out.

The shop ended up closing a few weeks ago and there has been suspicion that most of the donations never made it out onto the shop floor. Jean is a prolific EBay seller and also her DD has been spotted pushing the pram around that was donated by one of my friends(very distinctive!)I asked my mum about all this at the weekend and she pretty much confirmed my suspicions but stuck up for Jean saying that they all deserved it for all their hard work and that the charity should have treat them better.

My DM has form for minimising friends and relatives misdemeanors with a bit of victim blaming thrown in for good measure. Years ago she played down her BIL knocking someone over whilst drunk because the victim was also drunk but on the sodding pavement which my uncle mounted with his car! I told my DM that I was disgusted that we'd all tried to do a good thing but just ended lining Jean and her cronies pockets and I would class her actions as criminal. My DM went crazy and said how dare I judge her friend and to get down off my high horse as everyone does it.

I don't think so, I think I'll be low contact with her for a while as her morals are appalling and quite frankly don't want myself or my DC near her whilst she thinks her friends behaviour is acceptable. Have I overreacted? Thanks if you got to the end, it's long and a bit rambling, sorry I'm angry!

Enidblyton1 Mon 15-Aug-16 22:00:30

That is awful! Assuming she didn't give a charity donation for the pram and other things? (how does your Mum know for sure that Jean didn't give a donation?)
It's a perk of working in a charity shop that you get access to the best items first, but sounds like she's taken that concept way too far!

Gazelda Mon 15-Aug-16 22:03:18

I respect and agree with your stand over Jean's morals. She has apparently behaved very badly. It reflects terribly on the charity the shop supported.

However, unless there is much more, then I do think it's an over reaction to go low contact with your DM. Are you close to her otherwise? Are your DC close to her? Will you return to your usual level of contact if she tells you she now realises Jean was wrong?

HickDead Mon 15-Aug-16 22:03:54

I'm sure that if they were paying for these things then the shop would have been a lot more viable than it was.

Shizzlestix Mon 15-Aug-16 22:06:37

No wonder it shut with that sort of behaviour! I'd be tackling Jean's DD. It surely is theft?

HickDead Mon 15-Aug-16 22:06:56

Gazelda this is very much the straw that broke the camels back. She can be very selfish and nothing is ever her fault. I've found her draining for many years due to seeing how normal DH's family is.

CoraPirbright Mon 15-Aug-16 22:21:03

I would report Jean to the charity.

Gazelda Mon 15-Aug-16 22:26:45

In that case then OP, I can understand why you want to back off for a bit. Although it doesn't sound as though she will have a lightbulb moment of realisation that she's taking the wrong side.

I do feel terribly sorry for the small charity - it's hard enough getting funds as it is, without Jean and her colleagues stealing from them.

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