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Is she a narcissist? What did I do wrong?

(8 Posts)
ornais1 Mon 15-Aug-16 20:01:50


I really really need some advice. I feel utterly lost and confused.

Over the last 3 or so months I got very close to a work college who works in a different department. She is a lot older then me but we always got on well ect. We would occasionally text, say hello to each other if we passed. Then one day she admitted to me she suffered with anxiety and depression and then we hit it off.

In short, from then on she would literally text me ALL the time, everyday. It was lovely, we got on so well, made each other laugh, found out we had so much in common with each other. To look at you wouldn't put us together. We went out together, she came to mine and I went to hers. It was very intense. But I looked forward to her texts.

The only thing I didn't really like about her was the fact she literally only ever talked about herself. Everything I ever said, she had a story or an experience of her own. I noticed it, but just thought she was a bit of a chatterbox and let it pass. She somehow made me feel in awe of her. I would give her tons of compliments (I would say stuff I didn't really mean just to give her a boost, because I hated the thought of her feeling down ect.)

Anyway, I bump into her at a conference and she is COLDDDD. Like freezing with no explanation whatsoever. She didn't text me later so I text her asking if she was ok. She then said i'd gone funny with her? But I was like I thought the same about you? Then since then the texts have stopped and if she does text/i text her she is so blunt its horrible.

She text me last week asking If i had felt abandoned by her? Honeslty WTF does that mean? That turned me right off and I thought how vile of her.

Does this woman sound like a narcissist? I honestly feel like a right fool for letting this woman make me feel like this. I felt like I was just an ego boost for her. She confuses me though because it was her who instigated all the texts, arrangements, ect then its like ah, I'm bored now!

Has anyone else been through this?

I honestly feel confused. In the last few weeks if she does text, she will be blunt and always make sure I'm the last one to text. Its all very bizarre. Im honestly disgusted with her and myself. I did look up to her completely and she knows it.

Thank you. smile

AmandaIsHere Mon 15-Aug-16 20:05:13

I don't think she is necessary a narcissist, I think a lot of people only want to talk about themselves. Tbh it's impossible to tell.

ClopySow Mon 15-Aug-16 20:05:45

Stop texting her. And be careful about intense work friendships. I learned that one the hard way.

WoburnSands Mon 15-Aug-16 20:06:19

I've been through quite similar yes.

She sounds similar to some of my friends who get annoyed when they're not allowed to dominate. She could be narcissistic, but I would have to know what her behaviour's like across a wider range of situations.

Realistically, if you were in awe of her, it's not an equal friendship.

WoburnSands Mon 15-Aug-16 20:07:07

ClopySow - I've had so many bad friendships and if I'm being honest it's taken me far too long to learn!!

Salmotrutta Mon 15-Aug-16 20:10:40

She sounds like one of those "Me, me, meeeee" types.

I know a lot of them. So I just maintain a polite front and don't engage.

People who only ever talk about themselves and never ask you anything about yourself are generally quite attention-seeking.

Disengage and you'll feel a lot happier!

ornais1 Mon 15-Aug-16 21:54:16

Thank you all for your replies.

She has stopped texting now, and I refuse to text her also. Literally a very me me meeee person. Ugh. I don't understand why it went so intense in the first place. I feel sad tbh. sad

ClopySow Mon 15-Aug-16 22:32:18

Don't try to understand her. Just distance yourself and move on. Some friendships are only meant to be very short lived.

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