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To ask you all to hand me a grip?

(13 Posts)
SmallButPerfect Mon 15-Aug-16 13:24:52

I have a lovely, funny, beautiful DD of 14 months. I didn't think I'd like being a mum but I love it. I'm currently a SAHM.

A few weeks ago DH sat down with me and told me if I want to go back to University in September 2017 I need to get myself a part time job, and either put DD in Childcare or ask a family member to have her. His job covers our bills plus a bit of saving, but to go to University I'm going to need travel costs plus books etc.

I've been offered a job at the local supermarket, 3 days a week. 2 days pay will cover DD's childcare at a lovely nursery just 2 minutes walk from my house, with the extra day savings for me/University. I'll be able to cut down to 2 days a week when I start University next year, DH will then take on an extra day a week at work (currently works 4 days will go to 5) to cover the remaining days childcare.

DD will love nursery, I take her too baby groups and she crawls off (not yet walking) to play with the other babies without a backwards glance at me, she's happy to be left with other people, and I'll still get two days a week with her until September 2017 when I'll hopefully get at least 1 day in the week and 1 at weekends with her. Working will be good for me, I have low self-esteem and confidence and DH thinks it'll boost me up no end. Plus it means that I can go to University and therefore get a better job to give my DD a far better future.

I just feel so sad. I don't want my baby to think I'm abandoning her with strangers. I already miss her when she goes to MILs for 3 hours a fortnight.

AIBU to ask you to hand me a grip and ask you to tell me to woman up and get over it?

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Henrysmycat Mon 15-Aug-16 13:32:50

Awww! flowers
As a child of working parents and having a healthy, uber confident and happy 8 yo, I can tell you that, she won't even give a backward glance.
I loved having my mum going to work. When I was a kid, I could play with friends, and I was loving it. I grew up confident and social. My daughter is even more so.
And with a good education you can all benefit. Good luck. smile

SmallButPerfect Mon 15-Aug-16 13:33:10

NeedaScarf Love the name!

I've got a place on a Computing Course Specialising in Programming. I'm going into my 3rd year (I got pregnant before 3rd year and dropped out oops!)

Lilaclily Mon 15-Aug-16 13:33:40

Oh you sound a lovely couple and like you've got it all figured it

She will be fine & you'll be a great role model for her

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChardonnayKnickertonSmythe Mon 15-Aug-16 13:37:12

She'll be fine, don't worry!

SmallButPerfect Mon 15-Aug-16 13:56:39

Lilaclily We have a good balance atm, 4 days work a week for DH covers Rent, Bills, Food, £40pw savings for us and £30pw for DD. Admittedly we live somewhere which isn't hugely expensive to live.

GiddyOnZackHunt Mon 15-Aug-16 14:03:36

Sounds v sensible. I was a gibbering twit when I left dd with a childminder at 9 months old.
It was fine. Really. And think of the Mummeeeee! hugs when you pick her up smile

PhotosGinAndALongLieIn Mon 15-Aug-16 15:11:26

Sounds like you've got everything sorted but unless you've already got a degree you should be eligible for student finance as well. I went to uni when my youngest was 9 months and he loved nursery. Good luck!

MrsEvadneCake Mon 15-Aug-16 15:19:37

Have a grip and a well done. I had my eldest DS at the end of my first year. I then had to work two evenings and Saturday mornings to keep going to uni. It wasn't easy but I finished my degree and he was none the wiser that I was away. It's important to finish and you'll have a huge sense of achievement from doing so. Plus it's something for you and that time away can be good for you.

SmallButPerfect Mon 15-Aug-16 17:57:56

PhotosGin I'm getting a loan for my tuition fees but don't want to take a maintenance loan unless I absolutely have to. I managed my first two years living expenses with a job and a little help from my now DH, so I should be ok again this time.

missymayhemsmum Mon 15-Aug-16 22:05:03

Sounds like you have a good plan, or you could reduce what you save for dd and take the maintenance loan to see you through the next year with less nursery and less pressure. (child, plus final year degree plus part time job sounds really tough) Your dd will be fine either way!

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