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AIBU?

If you haven't heard what someone said.

37 replies

DropYourSword · 15/08/2016 02:39

AIBU to expect them to repeat it when asked? Just need a mini rant!
My 'D'H does this ALL the time. "Mumble Mumble Mumble calpol Mumble".
"Sorry DH, say that again"
"Calpol"
Me inwardly - aarghh, FFS, HOW many times are we going to have to go through this fucking vortex of conversation. If I haven't heard what you fucking said, repeating one bloody word doesn't take make any pissing sense. Does that mean he's HAD calpol, is due it, you want me to get it, whaaaaat.

I've had so many calm and not so calm through gritted teeth discussion pointing out if I haven't heard what he's said, repeating one word is pointless. And then it takes bloody longer to get to the point because I have to repeat again I'm sorry but I didn't hear you. So I don't understand what 'calpol' means. Can you say the WHOLE sentence again. While he gets all huffy because I'm not a beacon of serenity.

Feels like every fucking time. I know this is a minor irritation but gaah.

The way I used to deal with this was if I asked him to repeat himself and he was too lazy to bother then I thought it was too insignificant for me to respond and if he squally needed a response he would eventually repeat himself. But I can't do that now as we have a newborn baby and it's more than likely about him (such as the calpol).

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DesolateWaist · 15/08/2016 02:43

I blame all the sodding films where everyone mumbles all the time. Now DH mumbles too.
Fortunately he's not in charge of anything important so if I don't hear him it doesn't matter.

Iliveinalighthousewiththeghost · 15/08/2016 02:46

What did you say?.
Sorry I'm having my funny half hour.

Bloodybridget · 15/08/2016 02:48

YANBU. Bloody annoying. Don't know how you can make your DH change his ways though - try responding with what he could have said, e.g. DH: "mumble mumble supper mumble"; you: "you're going to make supper tonight, great, thanks"?

nooka · 15/08/2016 02:52

My dh has hearing problems so frequently doesn't quite catch what we say. Even though he has a disability I'm afraid it's still quite annoying to repeat things all the time. Are you sure that your dh is mumbling and that you don't have an issue with your hearing?

The trouble is with conversations like this is everyone gets irritable quite quickly, which doesn't help anyone.

ifcatscouldtalk · 15/08/2016 03:02

My dh seems to mumble or shout words, no inbetween volume. Grrr.

DropYourSword · 15/08/2016 03:06

Not a hearing issue, although to be fair to DH who wants to be fair when you're having a rant! it's not so much that he actually mumbles, more that I'm in another room / walking to another room / toilets flushing / hairdryer's on / baby is crying. So the background noise or distance makes hearing what he said difficult.

That's the problem though, we both then get irritated quickly. I HATE the one word response he gives and the expectant look he then gives me. I should really do what bridget suggests and say what I think was the likeliest thing - sorry, did you say you gave him the calpol - but sometimes that would end up confusing things even more.

OP posts:

DropYourSword · 15/08/2016 03:08

Plus it would be much easier all around if he just said something again rather than me having to play frikkin detective!

OP posts:

BillSykesDog · 15/08/2016 03:15

Oh fucking hell. My husband does this, or just repeats the last few words. It drives me nuts, especially as he gets cross when I ask him to repeat it again.

Nannawifeofbaldr · 15/08/2016 03:30

I have (very slight) hearing loss.

I find that people often mumble at the end of the sentence "when you are at the shops next could you get me a mumble "

If you ask them to repeat it they then do the whole sentence clearly and them mumble the bit I didn't get again. Drives me (unreasonably) bunkers.

My FIL has a horrible tendency to mumble terribly into the phone (although he speaks perfectly clearly in real life). It's mind bending to listen to. My DH agrees with me on this one so it's not just my ears!

Bogeyface · 15/08/2016 03:33

H used to do this and doesnt anymore.

On him saying "Calpol!" I would say "What about it?" He would then respond with a huffy "I said that......" and I would say "I did ask you to repeat yourself, I need more than one word"

He now does a good line in passive aggressive repeating every word loudly, but as the mistress of the PA response, I dont care!

Bogeyface · 15/08/2016 03:37

Oh and my mother does the "ill" voice on the phone, just in case her telling you that she has yet another imagined ailment isnt enough. But part of the ill-voice is that its so quiet so when I cant hear her and have to ask her to repeat herself for the eighth time, I am being insensitive because she is ill.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/08/2016 04:04

I have a slightly different problem - I get DH saying "blah blah blah xyz" so I say "xyz? what do you mean, xyz?" and he says "I didn't SAY xyz, I said abc" - where I know, honestly I do, there is nothing wrong with my hearing, that he HAS said xyz but as soon as I challenged him on it, he changed it to abc!!

As if I'd have pulled him up on it if he'd actually said abc in the first place!

OorWullie1936 · 15/08/2016 07:05

I have hearing aids and I rely on lipreading plus my residual hearing to get me through. My husband still starts talking to me then walks off or turns his back and don't get me started on my mumbling 15 year old

LittleCandle · 15/08/2016 07:10

I have a colleague at work who mumbles really badly and speaks very quickly to boot. Everyone complains about him and I hate working with him, as I am always asking him to repeat himself. He thinks he speaks very clearly, so apparently it is all of the rest of us who are all going deaf...

SecretMongoose · 15/08/2016 07:16

Arrrrgh, my DS is terrible for speaking so quietly I can't hear him. And if I ask him to repeat it (which I have to do ALL THE TIME), he says it again even quieter! I haven't figured out yet if it's deliberate to wind me up.
And my DD is a wee slip of a thing but very very loud - except if I miss something she said and ask her to repeat it, then she goes quieter too! What am I doing wrong with these children? 😭

Solina · 15/08/2016 07:30

My OH occasionally talks to me whilst I am focusing on something else. Then I dont hear what he said so need to ask him to repeat.
He always looks at me in a huffy way and says "if you didnt listen to me I wont repeat it".
Really annoys me because he has then interupted what I was doing and wont even tell me why!

acasualobserver · 15/08/2016 07:33

Did he do this before you got married?

Fuzzywuzzywasabear · 15/08/2016 07:40

My dh has started doing this! It's so bloody irritating, he even had me thinking it was my hearing until one of our friends came over this week and commented on not being able to hear because he doesn't bloody speak properly!

Rant over - no advice sorry

PovertyPain · 15/08/2016 07:43

Have you tried ignoring him, until he comes into the room, you're finished with hair dryer, etc? That way HE has to do the 'work' of approaching you bad repeating it. If my oldest mumbles and then uses one word, my answer would be "yes, capol is a word, well done", but I've turned into a sarky fucker.

Wallykazam · 15/08/2016 07:44

My dh does this too and drives me insane!

GinIsIn · 15/08/2016 07:45

My DH does this too - he will launch into conversation at me from another room, knowing I'm hard of hearing, and then when I say 'I can't hear you from in there' instead of coming into the same room as me or waiting a minute until we are together he just starts the bloody story again!! Drives me MAD!

MouseholeCat · 15/08/2016 07:52

DH does this too and it drives me insane! He'll have his head in a cupboard clinking jars about or he'll ask something just as a plane goes over us, yet still thinks if he repeats the noun I'll get it.

I've got a colleague who does it too... there's no escape.

I'm not a mind-reader; it's fairly normal to need more than 1 word to contextualise a question

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nowahousewife · 15/08/2016 07:57

When I ask DH to repeat something I've not heard (as he's in another room, talking over washing machine etc) he launches into an explanation of what he was saying. Drives me bloody nuts; I didn't hear what you said, not didn't understand!

After 25 years I'd love to get just one word back.

DeathStare · 15/08/2016 07:59

I think you live with my DP!

CheshireDing · 15/08/2016 08:08

Mine is slightly different too but EQUALLY annoying.

Me: perfectly clear conversation
DH: ignores me/asks me to repeat it
Me: doesn't bother to tell him he is about to get run over by a bus (for example)

I am fed up of repeating myself, DH says I mumble but I can't believe that as he is the ONLY person I have to repeat myself to.

I no longer repeat myself, rough shit if he doesn't get a brew/dinner etc. The Children many to answer

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