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AIBU to think I'm going insane?!

(10 Posts)
ChampagneSupernova1 Sun 14-Aug-16 12:56:22

Excuse the lack of abbreviations I'm new to mumsnet.
I have a 1 year old and I'd be lying if I said I found it easy bringing him up, generally speaking I've been fine but have my moments of I can't do this!!
Recently I have had no idea what's wrong with me and am not sure if it's totally normal or I'm going insane!
My poor partner is taking the brunt of this.. For example... I will go from wanting to have loads of sex everyday to the next not caring if we never had sex ever again.. One day I will just let everything pass and the next I'm Wanting to rip his head off for not feeding our child!
I will expand..
Obviously it's now been a year since we had our child, yet my partner still seems to act as if he's got no idea how to look after him 'oh is it that time I didn't realise' when I ask have you fed him lunch. 'Oh I didn't realise his nappy needed doing' when he's had it on for hours... AIBU to be absolutely infuriated by this? I feel like I'm expected to it all because I'm the mum!
Sometimes I'll let it all pass because he's a good man really and works hard, but others I just think FFS just because you go to work does not mean your day ends when you get home.. YOU HAVE A SON!!
I work part time so not as much as him but I feel like he thinks that is his get out card?!
Is this normal or am I starting to show signs of bipolar hmm

user1469553305 Sun 14-Aug-16 19:14:31

No I don't think you are going insane, you have just had enough of doing everything and believe me, that happens to us all!

Firstly it might be worth just having a chat with your GP just to make sure you are fit and well. After I had DD the pill that had suited me preconception was sending me a raging lunatic post birth!

Then have a chat with DP, it sounds like he needs to up his game. After a year of being a new mom you are bound to be at the end of your rope and exhausted.

WilLiAmHerschel Sun 14-Aug-16 20:55:25

That isn't how bipolar works so I don't think you need to worry about that. It sounds like you're just fed up of doing it all and I don't blame you. Your partner really should be proactive in doing his fair share.

Eebahgum Sun 14-Aug-16 21:37:33

I don't think you're going insane or are bipolar. I'm sure other posters will disagree with me but in my experience it's a fairly common mummy moan - our partners seem to assume we're going to do it all and it's bloody annoying. I'd assume your urge to have sex/not is also linked to this. Funnily enough I don't feel horny when I'm feeling knackered/put upon.

Inthebathprobably Sun 14-Aug-16 21:41:20

I have a 10yr and life is quite similar. For me it is often about how tired and unstressed I am makes my moods / libido

And if partner is helping at home or you're pissed off at them means so much towards my mood too.

All very normal!

But talking is the key, explain to him, some of it is letting the small stuff go and somethings need to be sorted or will eat away at you. Only you know what those are.

ChampagneSupernova1 Sun 14-Aug-16 22:49:01

Thanks for your replies ladies! I'm glad that it seems normal, I have mentioned it to him but because he works more than I do I think he just thinks it's my job. I look after our son every night so if he has a bad night then I'm the one knackered in the mornings... Just seems all one sided but I can't seem to talk to him without having a go at him because he never sees what I do!
He gets a lot more free time to himself than I do too, although he won't admit it!
Argh tearing my hair out here! I can't hide my pissed-offy ness anymore so we argue about why I'm off but no matter what I say it changes for a day and that's it! His family are very traditional and I think that's where he gets it from but we're in 2016 here!! angry

WilLiAmHerschel Mon 15-Aug-16 13:03:05

Maybe if you start a thread in relationships you might get some good advice on getting him to do more. It's very unfair that it's all on you. I'm a stay at home mum (sahm) but when my dp is home from work he still does his fair share. It's not right that it's all left to one person. You need a break sometimes too.

Gottagetmoving Mon 15-Aug-16 13:07:16

It's a pity a course on being a dad is not compulsory when a man is expecting his first child with his partner.
It would be good if couples talked before the birth about what help and support is required from a dad. When you are pregnant you don't think about after the birth until it's too late. :/

Iwantagoonthetrampoline Mon 15-Aug-16 14:45:03

You are not going insane. It's not an excuse in any way shape or form but google 'default parent'...

0pti0na1 Mon 15-Aug-16 15:21:37

Would it help to stick a checklist on the wall with what needs doing at what time? You can say it's for you both, to make things easier.

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