WIBU to say something about my brother's drinking around my kids?(6 Posts)
Help - I don't know what to do, if anything!
My parents took my children on holiday on Saturday morning, they are staying in a campsite with my brother, his wife and their son.
My parents are staying in their caravan, and B and SIL are in a log cabin thingy with my DS 14 and DD 12 (and DN 12).
My DD 12 rang me at 10pm in the evening for a goodnight chat and told me that Uncle M was a bit drunk and bumping into things and slurring his words. DS 14 popped onto the phone very briefly, and seemed in a rush to get back to having a 'manly chat' with Uncle M, and left DD on the phone with me.
My brother is pretty irresponsible, and a few years ago I bumped into him at a beer festival, which me and DP went to (without DC), but he had DN with him, and was a bit worse for wear, and had also given DN a few tasters (bearing in mind he was primary school age).
My parents are very responsible, and my SIL is reasonably responsible as far as I know, but I'm now worrying about a) whether my brother is going to offer my son (and daughter) alcohol (beer) whilst they're around him, b) what kind of crap he's going to talk to my son whilst under the influence (less of a worry), and c) whether if the family go out on day trips, my children will be in his car (he has lost his driving licence once before, for being over the limit).
This is my childrens' only holiday, courtesy of grandparents, as we can't afford to go on holiday, and they've been there before, and I don't want to piss on anyone's fire, but I now feel quite uncomfortable about my children being around my brother in the evenings if they're not out with my parents, and don't know whether I should ring my Mum and talk to her about it.
I don't want to create any tension, but in the first instance, I would prefer if they're all going on any outings together, that my children travel in Nanna and Grandad's car, so I know they're safe (they might be doing this anyway, although I can't be sure without asking) and secondly, I really don't want my brother offering or giving my children alcohol, but no idea how to broach this. Also, I don't have a problem with him having a few beers while they're up, but think it's inappropriate to drink to the extent that the children notice a change in behaviour.
Help, Mumsnetter's, what do I do? I'm almost wishing the Grandparents hadn't taken them away now - am I over-reacting? Should I wait another night and see what the kids say about how their Uncle acted etc.?
Also, my daughter told me last week, that last year, her Aunty used to come into her room in the middle of the night (waking her up) to sleep (there are two beds), because her Uncle snored. And one night, when my DD got up at 4-5am to go to the toilet, her Aunty told her she wasn't allowed to come back to bed, because she'd wake her up.
In a real dilemma, don't know what to do for the best for my kids.
Id give your mum a ring and just ask her to keep an extra eye on your brother when he's had a drink and is with the kids .
Hi both, thanks for your replies. Yes, I think I need to ring my Mum tomorrow just to maybe give her a gist - she's a bit neurotic though, and has no tact! Don't want to worry her, but also my kids are my priority... Meh, spend all year looking forwards to them getting a holiday at the seaside, and the very first night it's blown by my brother being a drunken arse. Yes, probably right about DSIL, no-one likes being woken early in the morning - debated whether to pre-warn her that DD now wakes relatively frequently in the night, but didn't want to come across as a PITA :/
Hopefully your parents are aware of your brothers drinking anyway . They took the children away on holiday so are responsible for making sure they're safe. I'm sure they will appreciate a quick call from you just in case they aren't aware .
I'm not sure whether they are or not... he also has a history of smoking pot, not sure whether he still does or not, but another reason to not want him to be driving my children anywhere. I really don't want to throw a spanner in the works, or 'dob him in', but I'm worrying about them :/ x
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