To confront this woman about being left out and then lied to?(5 Posts)
A few weeks ago a couple of colleagues/friends - A & B - mentioned the possibility of us all meeting up over the summer. B was the one who mentioned it to me, but in front of A. We are colleagues but get on very well and have supported each other in various ways over the few years we have known each other. Not much mutual socialising as we all have full on jobs, A and I both have dc etc. I think they occasionally meet for coffee, but I live in a different area from them and have never seen that as upsetting in any way.
Friend B got married last week and two days before I broke my phone. I had no one's number and had been planning on texting friend A to arrange going with her as neither of us would know many other people there and neither of us have partners. I'm not on FB (I think this is partly why I get excluded) so in the end I decided to drive to her house to ask her about going to the wedding. While I was there she mentioned going to lunch with B. I didn't react but she sort of checked herself and then said my broken phone must have been the reason her text to me inviting me didn't arrive/why I didn't reply. This was bollocks as I'd only broken it the day before and she said the lunch was 'the other day' not yesterday. I said nothing, but felt a bit hurt.
What has really upset me is that at the wedding friend C, who I would have said is not as close to either me or A, but maybe is to B, greeted me by going on about my phone and how I'd missed out on a great lunch due to breaking it etc etc. So it seems A had 'tipped her off' about the lie so it could be maintained. And like an idiot I went along with it, when I really wanted to call bullshit. It is the lying that I find hurtful, but I'm also angry with myself for not saying anything.
I really want to tell B about this (not now when she's on honeymoon obviously!) as she is probably the one I am closest to, and she is very straight up kind of person, but I don't really know what it would achieve. Nothing probably, or awkwardness. Just feel let down - I knew we weren't bosom buddies, but I thought we really did get on well and I don't feel we can get on as before and I can go back to work in September and speak to A as if this hasn't happened.
Sounds like one of those crap things that just happens sometimes. I certainly wouldn't be stewing over it, or thinking of ways to bring it up in September. Facebook is often the easiest way of organising things and I know that I've accidentally missed people out of things.
In a weird sort of way they obviously care about your feelings to try and make up a story to make you feel better. It is very possibly a genuine oversight something they organised over Facebook. They seem to feel quite bad about it so let it go. If it keeps happening then mention it but hopefully it was just a miscommunication and won't happen again.
Do you think it's possible that your friends feel they have to tiptoe around you a bit too much? I wouldn't think anything of it at all if friends met up without inviting me (unless it started happening a lot!)
Ffs they don't have to invite you to everything. I'm guessing the phone excuse was because you looked miffed and they wanted to spare your feelings. And you want to confront them? Maybe there's a reason why they didn't invite you. You sound very intense.
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