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Interfering mother

(9 Posts)
user1469893790 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:21:17

Hi I'll keep this as brief as possible my ex who walked out on me and my son 11 years ago has recently got back into contact via my mother who for some reason is all for this. My ex was abusive and we split while I was pregnant I allowed him access to our child and he disappeared when son was 4 months old. Fast forward 11 years I'm happily married have had another child and ex turns up at my mums doorstep the next day my son went to his nans and she broke the news to him telling me over the phone a few hours later once I finished work. This causes a row anyway I took my son to meet his father this was 5 months ago and he hasn't bothered seeing him since there's always an excuse. He promised my son money this never materialised so I contacted csa who have tracked him down so I got some abusive messages he's refusing to cooperate. Anyway I then get a phone call from my mother my ex has phones her to moan about the csa situation she then phones me saying I'm spiteful. My son has said he wants no contact but no one will listen to him aparantly it's what I've put on his head. Suppose what I'm after is an outsiders point of view. Sorry for the long post.

DeathStare Fri 12-Aug-16 21:49:41

Listen to your son and tell your mother to mind her own business.

user1469893790 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:52:50

Thanks for your reply that is what I did this morning but suppose as the days gone on I've been re going over and over what was said and maybe started to doubt myself.

hazeimcgee Fri 12-Aug-16 21:54:08

Listen to your son and tell your mother to mind her own business. Seek some legal advice re contact

WhooooAmI24601 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:56:39

Your Mother has no business being involved; what happens next is for your son to decide (if he can do so) and for you to follow his lead. If he's said no contact you should let him know there's always an option to change his mind in the future, but that you'll respect his choices now.

Binkermum29 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:57:43

Your son clearly has an opinion and your mother - for some reason - has an agenda. Your son's view seems better informed. Go with it.

DeathStare Fri 12-Aug-16 21:57:45

And don't doubt yourself!

Paintedhandprints Fri 12-Aug-16 21:59:12

What they said ^^.
Don't send your son to nan's on his own.

user1469893790 Fri 12-Aug-16 22:02:15

Thank you everyone glad it seems I've done the right thing. I'm sure he's going to apply for contact but I've never actually stopped contact so that should be fun.

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