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Aibu to keep my lamp on even though dh hates it.

(21 Posts)
makingacupoftea Fri 12-Aug-16 18:49:34

I know this will sound really pathetic but a few nights ago I woke up an swear I saw someone looking down at me . I KNOW I was probably half asleep and I know it's really really stupid but for whatever reason I was completely terrified . I just can't sleep now unless I have a lamp on which again I know - stupid!.

Dh is grumbling like mad about it. We don't have anywhere else for either of us to sleep all beds full and couches are too short.

However, dh falls straight to sleep and sleeps soundly through the night his objection seems to be that it's ridiculous rather than anything else.

Aibu to insist the lamp is on until I get over the silly phase

For completeness . Yes I have had pretty serious anxiety/ depression in the past. I am in a rocky phase at the moment but basically ok.

DeadGood Fri 12-Aug-16 18:52:09


DeadGood Fri 12-Aug-16 18:53:09

Although I thought this was going to be a "I want to stay up reading and my husband wants to go to sleep at bloody 9pm" in which case my YANBU would have been even more fervent

CheesecakeWarrior Fri 12-Aug-16 18:54:08

I was going to say yabu as I can't sleep with any light whatsoever but if you're not disturbing him I don't see his problem, therefore yanbu

VladmirsPoutine Fri 12-Aug-16 18:57:05

I was also going to say Yabu because I can't sleep with the light on but if it doesn't affect your husband then I don't see the problem. That said, I think it would be advisable to try and ease yourself back into your normal sleep routine sooner rather than later.

FlibbertigibbetArmadillo Fri 12-Aug-16 18:58:04

If he can sleep then carry on. Just keep windows closed so you don't get bugs (got a serious mosquito problems round here at the moment!)

Witchend Fri 12-Aug-16 19:04:30

I sleep badly with a light on. I'm also much more likely to wake with a migraine. Dh thinks I sleep fine, but I don't go into deep sleep and so wake not feeling rested at best.
I've put a board up over the window for the summer as even the blackout curtains are not keeping out the morning light enough. It's an issue that's gradually getting worse too. sad

acasualobserver Fri 12-Aug-16 19:05:02

Put a low wattage bulb in the lamp. Work out the cost per night (likely a few pence) and tell him he's a fucking skinflint for denying you your peace of mind for such a trivial sum. To really make the point, throw a few coins at him at bedtime.

SatsukiKusakabe Fri 12-Aug-16 19:06:15

I can see both sides of this, as I have suffered from anxiety and also those nigh time hallucinations. However, I also can't sleep properly with a light on somewhere - dh would think I looked asleep too but I do find it disturbing and it makes sleep problems worse in the long run.

So, kindly, you need to try and tell yourself that it is a symptom of stress and the quicker you get back to sleeping normally without the light the better. But he should be sympathetic, it's horrible.

NarcyCow Fri 12-Aug-16 19:20:43

Could you put a dimmer switch on the lamp? Ikea have one that you just plug the lamp into.

MirriVan Fri 12-Aug-16 19:26:13

The detrimental effects of exposure to night-time light are quite well studied. Both you and your partner would have more chance of better sleep in a darkened room - if you were't terrified of the dark at the moment that is!
Could you get him a sleep mask and promise your very hardest to get over this ASAP?

makingacupoftea Fri 12-Aug-16 19:35:33

Satsu- I know I don't know what the hell is wrong with me I am 32 and I have never been afraid of the dark before confused

Have you heard of sleep paralysis? I suffer from it occasionally and have 'seen' people during an episode. Knowing more about sleep paralysis helps me deal with it better - I understand it as a medical condition rather than 'that terrifying thing'.

Booboostwo Fri 12-Aug-16 20:33:44

You are having night terrors. I used to have them quite often. I would wake up unable to move or scream, feeling a weight on my chest and there would be a man at the end of the bed...I'd wake up in terror and realise there was a man at the foot of the bed which explained the nightmare, terror...I'd wake up, etc. It took a few cycles to wake up and it was awful. After many years of this I coincidentally got a dog who slept in my bedroom. The first time I had the nightmare I thought, hold on the dog is not barking so there isn't really a man at the foot of the bed and that was the last time I had a night terror. On the flip side I also grew out of the ability to have lucid dreams.

Is anything stressing you at the moment? It might help to identify the trigger but meanwhile your DH should show some compassion and get an eye mask.

TeaRexit Fri 12-Aug-16 20:37:32

I have baby night lights ( £6.99 for two in Argos ) in my room & the lounge, kitchen & & hall, they give a soft glow blush

trinity0097 Fri 12-Aug-16 20:41:51

Could you have a landing light on, or a spare room light on so there is some dim light in your room for you to see that there is no-one around, but dark enough to keep hubby happy? I can't sleep well with a light on at all.

RattataPidgeyRattataPidgey Fri 12-Aug-16 20:42:18

You suffer detrimental effects even if the only light is a little LED bulb taped to the back of your knee. So... YABU, I guess.

SatsukiKusakabe Fri 12-Aug-16 20:43:59

Don't feel bad about it - I struggled without a light on until I was quite old blush because of sleep paralysis and seeing shapes and figures in the dark. I get it occasionally now when I'm anxious or run down and usually a few minutes with the light on is enough to get settled again, but I still find it difficult with the light out when dh is away for some reason, so I really sympathise. I know that the more you get used to the light at night the more the problem worsens, at least for me. It would be better if your dh could help you when you woke up - I know I feel better if I can talk about what's happened and reorient myself a bit, but if you can get at the cause and try and relax as much as possible before bed: no screens, couple of pages of a book, back rub if dh is amenable, all these things have helped me when I'm having an episode flowers

Flashbangandgone Fri 12-Aug-16 21:18:06

I had sleep paralysis once.... I can confirm it was utterly terrifying (having no idea what it was at the time). If your DH just thinks you're being a baby and it's not affectmg your sleep, YANBU

Rosenwyn1985 Fri 12-Aug-16 21:33:15

Yup, sounds like sleep paralysis. It's awful. Hate to tell you this but a light won't help...

JohnLithgowsLargeForehead Fri 12-Aug-16 21:35:06

YANBU if it's temporary.. I've had sleep paralysis twice and I thought there was a demon in the corner, I tried to scream and move but couldn't. I knew afterwards it wasn't real but had the lamp on for a few days after! It's for your peace of mind.

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