I'm actually not sure if I'm BU - have nc as this is fairly identifying and am slightly concerned this will be seen as stealth boasty in one direction or the other but it's really not intended to be.
Essentially, I am not sure if my DS is hard done by/ lucky or somewhere in between. My DM thinks he is very very hard done by and we have actually just had a massive row about it which precipitated this thread. We've just been away visiting family at the beach for a couple of days and she was horrified that apart from a bucket and spade, we hadn't bought anything new for DS while we were away, which is on top of us only getting him one thing for his birthday last month. She says we are mean and relying on her and other family to 'fill in the gaps' - I don't think that is fair, as while they obviously buy him birthday and Christmas presents etc, we don't 'expect' them to buy him things at any other time, though occasionally they do.
She is very much a things = love person, though. My DBro and I were showered with 'stuff' our whole childhoods and while in many ways it was lovely it has definitely given me a skewed view on possessions - I remember loving going to stay with GPs etc as a child as I could only take a few bits with me and it was nice to be able to set everything out tidily etc. The pressure of constantly being admonished to take care of/ appreciate/ play with/ curate mountains and mountains of things, most of which we didn't ask for or really want is something I don't want my son to have. But I also don't want to swing too far the other way and stop him having a 'normal' amount of stuff. In addition, DH and I are in very different financial circumstances to my parents, and don't have the space or the money for buy as much. We prefer to spend what we do have on doing stuff like taking him swimming, or even little things like out for tea rather than new toys. Plus he goes to nursery 3 days a week and has loads of toys to play with there.
But - he does seem to have very little compared to friends' kids of similar ages and his cousins. They all have massive playrooms full of toys. So I do wonder if my mum has a point. So - here is a photo of probably 90% of his toys. As well as what is shown here he has:
-A small toy kitchen with plates, cups and wooden food that can be cut up.
-Some other 'musical' toys - a drum/ harmonica/ handbells etc.
-A scooter, a ball and a frisbee for taking to the park.
-A ride-on fire engine.
-Some bath toys and a bubble machine for the bath.
-Lots of drawing stuff, stickers and crayons.
-A folding dolls buggy.
-About 15 cuddly toys that he largely shows no interest in.
-Lots of books.
I am aware that some of his toys are getting a bit babyish - but everything here he still plays with. I'm more than happy to buy new things for him, but not just for the sake of it.
I don't know - I'm just feeling really shit about this and it's stupid as at the end of the day what matters is that he's happy and we aren't bankrupt. My DM always seems to know what buttons to push though to make me feel like an awful mum.
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AIBU?
To think my 2 year old has enough toys?
38 replies
DickensyAnn · 12/08/2016 14:34
OP posts:
Pearlman ·
12/08/2016 15:01
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