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To be so jealous of my best friend?

(30 Posts)
spaintrotter Fri 12-Aug-16 13:48:34

My best friend is currently in Santorini. So far this year she's been to Venice, Cuba and is going to Mexico later on in the year.

I've been on a weekend break in the UK sad

I know I'm being unreasonable but I could cry knowing that I can't afford a lovely holiday until god knows when.

StillStayingClassySanDiego Fri 12-Aug-16 13:52:06

You can't help your feelings.

We had our first holiday in 8 years a few weeks ago, no money to spare etc.

Does your friend have a great paying job, saves madly for holidays?

spaintrotter Fri 12-Aug-16 13:54:45

She's on minimum wage. Her boyfriend is on very good money though.

I'm a single parent struggling to afford the bills most months!

Just feel gutted that I can't afford nice breaks away for dd and me.

reader77 Fri 12-Aug-16 13:57:43

I'm in the same boat op and can't even afford a weekend away in the uk

rogueantimatter Fri 12-Aug-16 13:59:04

Most of my friends are much better off than me too. They appreciate their good fortune which mostly staves off jealousy.

I haven't had a proper holiday for years either. Have only been abroad once - I'm 48 and I can't imagine being well enough off to have one. So I understand you. Don't feel bad about the way you feel - you feel what you feel...

Who knows what's round the corner though?....

Even if it's nothing much, the time still seems to fly by even if it's unpunctuated by lovely holidays.

Congratulate yourself on your smaller carbon footprint wink

Claraoswald36 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:01:05

Not been abroad since I separated 4 years ago. Dp has been for 7 years. We are booking half term in October in the costa del whatever I can't wait!
Have a look at the sun holidays or what about staying with a friend who lives somewhere else?

Farfromtheusual Fri 12-Aug-16 14:02:16

I know exactly how you feel OP.. I have a friend who has been on about 6 or 7 holidays so far this year. He has either booked or is going on a new holiday every month easily. I have no idea how he and his DP get so much time off work or how they even afford it (neither has an above average paying job) and they post 50 million photos on Facebook after every single trip. I am so jealous, last year was mine and DPs first holiday in 6 years (though we did live abroad for nearly 2 years) and we have had to give up going on holiday this year as we're having a baby (due in 2 weeks). We probably won't be going away next year either depending on finances sad

QueenZelda Fri 12-Aug-16 14:07:37

Im in the same boat OP.

All of my friends appear to have super luxurious lifestyles.

However they are all on minimum wage and live at home with their parents still so no expenses at all

Witchend Fri 12-Aug-16 14:22:11

I've been abroad once. A school trip to France in 1990.

We have just as much fun on our holidays as someone who goes abroad.

MarksandSpencerfoodjunkie Fri 12-Aug-16 14:26:50

OP I work full time at the moment - my DH got made redundant in the spring and he's not working ATM so he can look after our 2 DDs over the school holidays. WI've spent the last few months feeling a bit bitter - reaching a head over the school hols as I watch all my other mummy friends go on holidays abroad with their DC. My wage is good but it only covers all the basics - not enough left even for a hair cut. However I've reconciled myself to this and feel that as long as my DDs are happy and we are healthy all will be okay. The Duke of Westminster had billions and look - sadly died at 62 feeling like he was a loner with no friends. Money is not everything..

HerOtherHalf Fri 12-Aug-16 14:28:21

Can't you just be happy for her? Jealousy is such a childish emotion.
As to your circumstances, I'm sure it's hard but children need love and positive attention infinitely more than they need a foreign holiday. Being a good mum has got nothing to do with money.

whattodowiththepoo Fri 12-Aug-16 14:30:32

My mum couldn't afford to take me anywhere nice being a single working mum until she had worked on her career, we went for a weekend in New York when I was 14, 3 week safari in South Africa the next year and short trips to lots of European cities and some time in America/Bahamas/Cuba and other amazing places.
Chin up, focus on what's good and the incredibly bright future.

Ginkypig Fri 12-Aug-16 14:33:16

Remember though a lot of people don't really have the money, they stick it on credit and worry about paying it off later.

That is why I do not have that lifestyle, generally if I can't pay for it I can't have it.

In the last 20 years

Iv been to France school trip
I went on a cheap bus tour to Paris with my dad (we split it)
And very luckily my brother won a holiday to Thailand and took me with her.

So in reality Iv only ever been able to afford one holiday abroad and it was cheap!

jojo2916 Fri 12-Aug-16 14:33:21

Yanbu as you can't help your feelings however I have managed a hol abroad as a single mum with low paid job as it was our priority, we lived off beans on toast , got rid of tv licence just watched DVDs stopped sky , buying new clothes apart from when absolutely essential, no coffees out, very careful to watch pennies even on small items, used vouchers, cycled or walked rather than drove whenever remotely possible, I totally get most people would not want to do this but if it was a priority it can be done, there are bargains on hols abroad sometimes and we had the most amazing time

JustMarriedBecca Fri 12-Aug-16 14:33:47

We are able to afford a holiday abroad but prefer weekends and holidays in this country. We went abroad last year and struggled to keep DD in the shade, she wasn't walking so we spent the whole time stopping her crawling into the pool. Good, even in 5* resorts is never that great. It's definitely not the same.

Since then we've been away a few times in the UK. Yes the accommodation is similarly priced to abroad but we can drive, don't need to faff with packing and our daughter has a much better time crabbing, rockpooling and jumping waves (all of which are free activities) than she did playing in a pool and on the beach for a week. Plus salty fish and chips are SO MUCH BETTER than dodgy all you can eat chicken pieces

Ginkypig Fri 12-Aug-16 14:35:17

Sister blush

vxvz Fri 12-Aug-16 15:00:24

We haven't been able to afford a holiday for the last 3 years and there is no light at the end of the tunnel either - but jojo you have inspired me to try harder.

I do think that FB makes it worse - especially this time of the year - and those who post 3-4 times EVERYDAY from their holiday. I wonder if they are deliberately trying to make others jealous/bragging etc - why aren't they focused on where they are and who they are with....! Always looks so contrived....

KingLooieCatz Fri 12-Aug-16 15:01:31

This reminds me of the time when a colleague was boasting about a cruise he was about to go on and how exotic and expensive it was. There were a couple of other colleagues I didn't know so well listening in. I looked sad and said we were about to go glamping in Galloway, at Easter so probably too cold for glamping in truth. The 2 ladies I didn't know came alive and asked what kind of glamping. In a yurt, I told them, so at least we get a wood burner. They both thought the family holiday in a yurt, by a loch in Scotland, with our wee woodburner, sounded amazing. Cruise colleague had his thunder stolen, big time.

The yurt was great. I know it's nice to have the choice though!

KingLooieCatz Fri 12-Aug-16 15:06:03

And DS was delirious with joy paddling in a river in Cumbria with his cousins last week. It wasn't even that sunny but the kids were happy and the adults sat around chatting. We got a great apartment through Airbnb for 2 nights. Abroad stresses me. I will have to cope with it at some point or DH will get fed up.

You will NEVER get a decent cup of tea abroad. NEVER.

Dozer Fri 12-Aug-16 15:08:38

Financial independence is worth a lot though - bit sad to depend on a bf to pay for stuff, or get into debt to try to keep up with him.

Also don't understand parents who allow their adult DC on low wages not to contribute to housing costs/bills etc so that the DC feel well off when they're not and are just being subsidised.

squoosh Fri 12-Aug-16 15:18:07

She'll probably a get dose of the squits in Mexico.

Silver linings.

dancetilldawn Fri 12-Aug-16 15:29:47

Your health is your wealth. I don't want to sound preachy OP, I know where you're coming from but it's true. Having good health is far more important than holidays. Your turn will come. smile

amusedbush Fri 12-Aug-16 15:38:43

One of my friends is openly seething with jealousy because DH and I travel a lot, with expensive holidays 2-3 times a year. However, I've worked very hard to get promotions the past few years and studied part time along side working full time. We meal plan, I get my hair cut three times a year, neither of us buy new clothes until the old ones are falling apart and we don't go out to eat/to the cinema/to the pub. Every spare penny we earn goes into the holiday fund.

We also don't have kids and are very, very fortunate in that my PIL have set aside a generous sum for us when we decide to buy a house. Where we live it's quite reasonable to expect to pay £90k for a two bedroom house so our deposit won't have to be astronomical.

We're 26 and plan to enjoy our time and disposable income while we can.

ilongforlustre Fri 12-Aug-16 15:58:38

I get it OP.

My DH and I often discuss how we feel guilty that the DCs haven't been abroad in years. We did go about 5 years ago but since that we have camped in the UK. It doesn't help that my brother takes his DCs abroad every year, he Ex also takes them abroad. Some other family members like to continuously remind us of this!

But, honestly, I watched my youngest absolutely engrossed in combing the rock pools with his £1.50 net in Dorset recently and I know that they don't need expensive all inclusive holidays in Greece to have a good time.

My husband said to me. "We have lots of adventures don't we?" He's right! On our camping breaks we have found a place to fish for HUGE crabs. We have climbed mountains. Found brilliant fossils. Watched Red Kites feed really close up. We've raced waves and almost been cut off by the sea (funny afterwards!).

If you ask my boys what the best thing about our holidays are they will say. "Flying the kite, Sleeping bags, searching for pebbles with holes in or running down hills really fast so you can't stop...."

That's the kind of stuff that children need, to do stuff with you. You don't need to be by a pool in a hotter climate to do that.

queenMab99 Fri 12-Aug-16 16:05:25

Enjoy your life now as it is happening, don't waste it pining for holidays, or comparing your life to others.

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