To go for this house

[LifeInJeneral]

I need some advice because I feel as though my judgement may be clouded (heart over head perhaps)..I've posted before about how I've had a tough time,my partner went to prison 6 months ago, just after the birth of our first child. He is appealing as was wrongly convicted but that's another story. Obviously without his income and being on maternity leave money is very tight. Since then my landlord has informed me he is selling my home so I need to find somewhere to live (the good news never stops for me). I have an overdraft but don't want to get into any more debt so I am putting in an application for the housing association as this would mean no deposit or fees. In the meantime.I spotted an affordable housing scheme property close to where I am now, it's a gorgeous big new build with a big garden for the dog. It's so beautiful I could cry imagining living there and bringing up my son there. It's would be a 5 year tenancy so no risk of being sold again before DP comes home. It is at 80% of private market rate with reduced fees, so rent is just over £400 per month as is the deposit plus £170 admin fee. I will get about £500 deposit back from here so would cover most of it but depending on when property is finished building there may have to be slight overlap with rent. My heart is saying "Yes yes a thousand times yes" but my head (more specifically my DP) is saying wait to get on the housing list and it will save the deposit and admin fees. I'm so torn, AIBU to go for it knowing I could save money but end up in a not great house?

[LifeInJeneral]

I should also mention I have PND and feel a little like I can't trust my decisions at the moment as I'm very scatty and keep making crazy decisions and just not being able to get a proper grip, hence why advice would be welcome

[LewisAndClark]

Of corse you should go for it!

What was your DP wrongly convicted of?

[Birdsgottafly]

Will they allow Pets and decorating?

I'm in a HA house and the standard of workmanship in it, is crap.

I'd go for the New Build, your only losing the Admin fees. You can still go on the Housing List.

It gives you flexibility.

[Bailey101]

Do it! It might take months or even years to get a housing association property and you might end up stuck in a grotty wee place and really regretting not taking this house.

You're really only talking about £170, which is a fair bit of money, but would be totally worth it to have a house you love and are happy to raising your son in.

[LifeInJeneral]

It's an incredibly long story but his ex partner was having an affair when do found out she accused him of raping her throughout the entire 7 year relationship. So many wholes in her story and she admitted lying on several police reports in court including making a false allegation against a police officer but there was a lot of evidence the police didn't supply that would have hugely impacted the case so he is appealing and we are just hoping justice will be done (it is incredibly hard to prove you are innocent of this kind of thing even with lots to suggest it is not true)

[LifeInJeneral]

Thanks, this is the way I have justified it in my head as well and my partner said if the landlord sells and I become "homeless" I can only refuse 3 properties and they won't help me? So I could get stuck in a horrid place and miss out on essentially my dream home. I'd be mad not to wouldn't I?

[morningtoncrescent62]

Can you afford it, both the initial outlay and the monthly commitment? Will you be able to pay off your overdraft fairly quickly? If so, I would go for it. The house sounds great, and you must need some stability after the time you've had. However, if it means going into serious debts that you can't see a way to pay off, best not to.

Sorry you've had such a hard time and hope things look up for you soon.

[Missgraeme]

Move to your dream house and get some peace of mind for u and your child. U deserve it!

[LifeInJeneral]

HI morning yes I'm sure I can make it work, the deposit for this place was £600 but I'm saying I'll get 500 just to play safe in case I lose any for cleaning etc then the rent is over a hundred pounds cheaper per month than I pay now so would be a great saver for me. Once I go back to work in January it would cover any small overdraft still remaining so it's doable, my DP just thinks if I got the deposit back from here and didn't have to spend it on a new place it would be money in the bank and he is right but we don't really need any luxurys and I know we would both be happier in a lovely home. They just need confirmation that my company can confirm I have asked to go back part time as if I go back full time I would be above the earnings threshold (even though I'd actually be worse off because if childcare costs). My friend works in HR so I've asked if she can send a letter confirming this (just that I've asked not that I will.definitely get it) but she hasn't replied yet.
I think I'm also starting to let doubts creep in because I'm overwhelmed at the thought of trying to pack everything on my own and then move (though I can get help.for the moving). But I know that one way or another I have to do it so it may as well be now!

[LifeInJeneral]

(And thank you for the kind words of support, it's very touching when strangers take time out to be kind)

[Foffyouwanker]

Sounds great, go for it. Also sounds like your dp wants to hold you back tbh.

[LifeInJeneral]

I think DP wants to feel like he is helping and protecting me even though he can't be at home.to help me properly so he is trying to give the most logical advice but I think if he could see how nice it was he wouldn't even hesitate

[hellsbellsmelons]

Absolutely go for it.
It's your dream, that won't come along again any time soon.
You have to grab things when they come along or they are gone forever.
I'm sorry that you and your family are having a crap time but this will help to make things better and give you a fresh start - one you want!

[LifeInJeneral]

Exactly that hells, a fresh start is exactly what we need. I will be spending most of my time when I'm not working in the house so it makes sense to go for a lovely new home that we can all enjoy. As soon as I have confirmation from HR I'm gonna go for it. It feels like a scary thing but life is too short to worry about not making the absolute best decision,this year has taught me that if nothing else. It's only money after all, I can picture DS playing in the garden and having his own lovely big room while I cook in the lovely new kitchen! I absolutely need to go for it. Thank you MN ladies you are a wonderful help!

[humblesims]

I think youre right, your DP wants you to play safe but as you say, he hasnt seen the house you love. I think in this instance it wouldnt be a huge risk going for the one you want. If you can get the funds in place you will be able to move forward with yours and DC lives. good luck.

[purplefox]

This isn't really your DPs decision and you need to be making these decisions without him, you're the one that's going to be living there and paying for it. If you were going to wait until you were on a housing list, then wait until a house became available what are you going to do in the meantime? You still need somewhere to live.

[LifeInJeneral]

Purple you are right I need to make my own decisions and not be afraid of what ifs. In my "real life" (my life before my DS was born when my partner was here and we both had careers and we had a proper plan) I was always so certain in my decisions and felt like I could always apply good logic to situations. Now I feel like I'm in a total dreamworld where I'm not working, I'm on my own and I have a baby and I don't quite feel like I'm here most of the time. I think it's knocked my confidence and means I'm always doubting what I'm doing in fear that something else will go wrong and I will have to deal with it by myself. But I guess logically the worst thing that can happen here is I mot lose the fees or I might have to ask for help with childcare while I pack.

[Welshrainbow]

Go for the dream house, it could even work out cheaper anyway. Not sure where you are but around me housing associaciation properties don't even come with flooring so you would have to spend put straight away on carpets etc and you'd have less control over the area or size of the property you were in.

[LifeInJeneral]

Really Welsh? I didn't know that as I've not had a HA property before. That definitely sways me towards the new build as I know they are fully done out and that I'm lucky to have actually been offered the opportunity

[Skittlesss]

Go for it. It sounds like you already know what you will do but you need pushing. Well stop stalling and go for it! It sounds fab :)

Do not let your partner hold you back. Please. I know you think he's innocent but right now the justice system and a jury of people do not think he is and there's a very good chance he won't win an appeal. You have to put you and your family first.

Go for it. The house sounds just like what you need :) xx

[fudgenibbles]

What kind of tenancy and rent would you get on a HA house? I live in a council flat and I had to put all floors in and redecorate myself, although my council have put in new windows/kitchen/bathroom. It's certainly not my dream home but it's only 30% of typical rents around here and my tenancy is secure forever. I'm a single mum and have been out of work/on a low wage at various times so the lower rent has been really important for us. So I would take a HA/council tenancy like mine over a new build house with just a five year tenancy and 80% rent. But I know HA tenancies tend to charge higher rents these days and tenancies are shorter, so the differences might not be as significant in your case.

[MelCookie]

Go for it and very best of luck.

[morningtoncrescent62]

Having read the updates, I really think you should go for it, OP. I know that moving is daunting, especially with a young baby, and it's tempting to put it off until you really have to do it. But if you can force yourself to take the plunge, you'll have the security of knowing you can stay put for the next five years. I was an SP from when my youngest (of two) was a baby, and I know it's gruelling to go through everything moving entails when you're on your own with DC - and how important a stable home is.

It's only money after all, I can picture DS playing in the garden and having his own lovely big room while I cook in the lovely new kitchen!

Keep picturing that, and try to see this phase of decision-making, paperwork and physically moving as just an short transition into the kind of life you want and deserve for you and your little boy.

[APlaceOnTheCouch]

Go for the new house. The PP is right that you will have hidden costs moving into a HA house. The standards vary considerably but I don't know anyone who hasn't incurred some costs.
You also need a space that feels secure and happy. It's only natural that you're doubting your decisions because life has thrown you some curveballs lately. to put it mildly Enjoy your new home