Advanced search

About my mum and my brothers wife

(105 Posts)
Sunshinerainbows123 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:42:23

So I went to work for a kit day yesterday and my mum had my dd for the day this is the first full day she's had her. When she's had her for an hour she always says she cried a lot and I tried everything to soothe her which makes me anxious as mum is going to have dd 2 days a week when I go back to work. Yesterday my mum called my sil (brothers wife) who has two boys to come round to see if she could get my dd to settle as shed tried everything and didn't want to bother me while at work. Apparently sil got my dd to sleep and settled her. She then left her youngest ds with my mum who's just had an op so she could take my oldest nephew swimming as apparently he's had a boring few days with his brother swimming and my mum said definitely go she'll be fine with the little ones because dd had gone to sleep and I was due back in an hour.
Aibu to think my mum should have just spent the day with my dd on her own and sil shouldn't have left youngest nephew when she knows my dd had been unsettled

idontlikealdi Thu 11-Aug-16 13:43:26

Why should she spend the Dy n her own with her??

seven201 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:43:42

I don't see the problem

GordonRamzee Thu 11-Aug-16 13:43:53


Unless you employ your Mum as a private Nanny. Otherwise you have no reason to moan.

Pearlman Thu 11-Aug-16 13:44:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Salmotrutta Thu 11-Aug-16 13:44:38


And a bit odd to be even asking this.

ElspethFlashman Thu 11-Aug-16 13:45:33


Your SIL came round at short notice, and soothed and settled your DD who went to sleep. Fair play to her.

You think your Mum shouldnt have any other grandkids there at the same time?? Madness.

MoonStar07 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:45:39

Stop being jealous. It's lucky your SIL could help. YABU chill

NoncommittalToSparkleMotion Thu 11-Aug-16 13:45:51

I don't see the issue, especially as SIL settled your DD. I'd ask her to move in if it were me!

Gowgirl Thu 11-Aug-16 13:45:57

Sorry but you need to get over yourself a bit, is dd a pfb? We have all been a bit unreasonable about them at some point!

Northernlight22 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:46:08

I don't see the problem really. DD was asleep and im sure when your mum has her when you return to work there will be visitors during the day.

spad Thu 11-Aug-16 13:46:13

I never usually reply as bluntly as this but YABVVVU.

Sorry. But really?

LewisAndClark Thu 11-Aug-16 13:46:24


Oh, you're serious?

YABVU. And pfb. One day you'll look back at this and cringe.

BaronessBomburst Thu 11-Aug-16 13:46:34

I can't see the problem either. Most young children enjoy spending time with other young children. And it's her cousin! They know each other.

ElsaAintAsColdAsMe Thu 11-Aug-16 13:46:35


You are so focused on your dd that you can't see the bigger picture. It's understandable you feel that way but unfair to expect your mum to solely focus on your dd when she has other grandchildren.

CostaAddict Thu 11-Aug-16 13:49:00

My 1st YABU!

I'd be thanking my SIL if it were me. Maybe need to stop being so precious biscuit

MrsKoala Thu 11-Aug-16 13:49:47

a? confused

You were due back in an hour and the baby was sleeping. What madness is this? Did you think she should silently sit watching her sleep or something?

Cosmo111 Thu 11-Aug-16 13:51:49

Very strange post, i don't see what the issue here

Crocodillian Thu 11-Aug-16 13:52:10

What a lovely dm you have that she wiill look after your dd 2 days pw despite being a difficult gc. What a lovely sil for settling your dd. What a nice mil/dil relationship that your dm can call on her dil to come and help and your dil can ask her to babysit. Not sure why you'd try to make an issue when everyone actually sounds really nice. No drama. But it's easy to overthing these things sometimes

WorraLiberty Thu 11-Aug-16 13:54:32

Who's just had an op?

Your mum or your nephew?

PatriciaHolm Thu 11-Aug-16 13:55:16


Mishegoss Thu 11-Aug-16 13:55:49

You're being unreasonable. And strange.

On the face of it
Your DM and SIL have done you a big favour and you are picking holes in their behaviour. Instead of your DM calling you, she got your SIL to help, your SIL solved the problem and your DD got some sleep.

However, I suspect the real issue is that you are not confident in your DM providing childcare for your DD and so saw it as test run and the test run failed. Do you have a back up plan if your DM can't cope?

CloudPirate Thu 11-Aug-16 13:56:45


Your DM can look after your DD for the whole day, but can't look after your DB/SIL's DS for 1 hour, because she's had an operation? Even though she was the one who offered, and your SIL had just helped her out rather (very kind of her, I would be saying thank you) than disturb you at work (which sounds sensible to me)?

And why is your MD incapable of watching 2 children at once? You do know that plenty of people (your SIL included) have two children and have to look after both simultaneously?! What will happen if you have another DC?!

NoFuchsGiven Thu 11-Aug-16 13:57:40

I hope you thanked your SIL for coming round at such short notice.

If your dm can not settle your pfb then I think you should maybe be looking into different childcare arrangements.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now