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To tell DH I am not going?

(16 Posts)
RosieandJim89 Wed 10-Aug-16 18:53:24

Last Friday we were due to go to a "friends" house for tea. (I say "friends as one of the couple is an ex of DH's friend who we set up with someone else we know but both are more acquaintance than friend but we have seen them a lot since we set them up.)
I was not asked if I wanted to go I was informed after it had been arranged. DS was staying overnight at my parents so we had a very rare night alone and I said I didn't want to go as I would prefer to have some time alone and not have to be designated driver - something else which is assumed never discussed.
We didn't go and DH has just told me we have to go this Friday instead. I have said no.
Reason one, My parents cannot watch DS so we would have to ask MIL to have him but as she works saturdays he cannot stay over which will mean we will have to add the extra drive to collect him after the meal - always an extra 30-45 mins onto our journey home.
2. Whilst these people are nice I have nothing in common with either of them and do not want to be spending every other weekend with them although do not mind every once in a while.
3. MIL is having him next Friday as we have friends coming from out of town for a night out and I feel it is unfair to ask her to do 2 nights in a row on top of the 2 afternoons she already had DS.
4. I am never consulted about these things just told and feel it is about time he realised he should be asking me first (have told him so tonight).
I feel a bit mean though - AIBU?

choccyspread Wed 10-Aug-16 18:55:28

Have them around your house and order a take away?

Pearlman Wed 10-Aug-16 18:56:44

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RosieandJim89 Wed 10-Aug-16 18:56:53

They came to us a few weeks ago which is why we are "due" to go to theirs.

AyeAmarok Wed 10-Aug-16 19:00:21

YANBU, it doesn't suit.

Say you'll go in a few weeks when you can get a proper overnight babysitter.

RosieandJim89 Wed 10-Aug-16 19:14:33

Pearlman he means we should - he accepts I dont want to go.

honeylulu Wed 10-Aug-16 19:16:05

Why can't he go on his own? Or is he relying on the RosieandJim taxi?
YANBU. I would not appreciate being told what I was doing without discussion. How rude!

Pearlman Wed 10-Aug-16 19:17:19

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crje Wed 10-Aug-16 19:20:49

I have this with Dh & our neighbours

He likes them more than me & ive done the 'right' thing but am sick of it now.

Will be watching with interest.

AnyFucker Wed 10-Aug-16 19:20:59

He can go on his own and drive himself there and back if he is that bothered.

OliviaBenson Wed 10-Aug-16 19:31:27

So he organises these things, expects you to drive and sort out babysitting and doesn't ask you? Wow!

RosieandJim89 Wed 10-Aug-16 19:44:29

Actually Olivia, it is slightly worse as more often than not his mum watches LO as my parents are over an hour away. HIs mum- he is told to organise. He usually gives her 12 hours notice.

Pettywoman Wed 10-Aug-16 19:44:34

I wouldn't go either.

Pearlman Wed 10-Aug-16 20:07:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Mycraneisfixed Wed 10-Aug-16 20:14:35

You don't need to have all those reasons/excuses not to go. The only one that matters is that you don't want to go. So don't. Let him rant. Selfish git.

FinallyHere Wed 10-Aug-16 20:17:49

If anyone 'just told me' I would politely decline. It's best to start the way you mean to go on, and never accepting invitations without checking with your partner is just basic common sense. When DH and i first got together, he did this, just accepted without checkimg and it was always the last people I wanted to see. Easy enough to say 'let's check with each other before confirming'. Life is much nicer that way.

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