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To not want a bloody disco piss up for my wedding.

(111 Posts)
Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:00:56

I've been called snobby, a party pooper and boring.

So as not to drip feed I have high functioning autism. So does dd but she is much more sensory than me.

The traditional family wedding around here is a huge church wedding with all the relatives (there would be hundreds) then to a noisy pub back room with awful flashy lights. Where every one will proceed to get pissed, probably fight, at the very least have a few tiffs.

I was willing to consider this when it would just be me that was extremely uncomfortable but I refuse to put dd through that amount of torment and meltdowns on what I want to be a nice day for us.

Any other idea I come up with is being torn apart by relatives who don't really understand autism. I just wanted to vent on here really before I send confetti bombs out.

'Oh don't you want to share your being day with your family?'

No. There are about 200 of the fuckers I only see when there is free booze/food on offer. I can't stand most of them or crowds. I want a few of the people closest to me who I actually see day to day.

I really couldn't give a fuck if Aunty Judy would get upset if little Jimmy whose 40's fifth cousin isn't invited. NONE of you are invited, stick that in your pipe Judy.

'All the family can't afford to/ want to go to the Isle of Wight to that small church that means so much to you as a couple'

Good. You have discovered my master plan.

A) I know damn well you can't/won't. That's the idea (and why I've made it out to be far more expensive tang it actually is grin)

B) That church means a lot to DP and I even though we aren't religious. We have had many miscarriages but we left a candle there twice when I was 8 weeks pregnant while on holiday and got dd and ds.

'The family will fall out with you if you don't have a big party, we all live a big party and a drink'

Good for you. I hate big parties. So I'm not having one.

Sorry. That felt good though 😄

ProcrastinatorGeneral Tue 09-Aug-16 23:03:18

More power to you!

Have a brew and screw the lot of themgrin

JenLindley Tue 09-Aug-16 23:04:57

shock but that's the best part of a wedding!


have the day you want. You're paying for it, it's your day, fuck them.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 09-Aug-16 23:05:28

Yanbu smile We had a very us wedding. No disco, immediate family and close friends only, lovely food and no cake or official photographer.

CruCru Tue 09-Aug-16 23:06:04

Good for you. Out of nosiness, which church in the IoW is it? The IoW is lovely.

Why don't you get married then go for a really lovely lunch? I'm sure I could recommend somewhere depending on where on the island you will be).

Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:06:45

Thanks * Procrastinator* grin

It just gets so wearing sometimes.

Why it is of vital importance that anyone who is vaguely related to me (but that I probably wouldn't even recognise) attends is beyond me.

They obviously don't knew me if they were expecting a huge wedding/party in the first place 😄

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 09-Aug-16 23:06:54

Ah, fuck Auntie Judy.

I'm with you. Asoerger's. Anxiety. Sensitive to noise and crowds. Yadda yadda.

They can have a huge party/piss up in your absence.

Unsurechicken Tue 09-Aug-16 23:08:49

Goooo Peppa!

Good on you. why should you do something you dont want to on such an important day.

Hell have the wedding on the IOW and have a tea party after or a beach bbq. Even better if half the 'family' dont make it.

Sounds like the 4 of you have your own ideas.

I fucking hate discos and loud noises and im not autistic - my brother is tho.

Have a hi-5

Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:09:19

Thank you CruCru smile

It's the lovely church at Godshill (we can have the religious ceremony there but will have actually done the registration beforehand as we live in the Midlands)

wheresthel1ght Tue 09-Aug-16 23:10:55

Bollocks to your family! Have the day you, dp and your kids want. If they want a loss up let them pay for it!

Your ideal day sounds amazing and if I ever get married again it is exactly the sort of day I would like!

Good luck and have a wonderful wedding!!

Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:11:04

Cheers everyone's

The replies have cheered me right up 😄

If I was the sort of person who'd have a he party I think that woukd be the t-shirt slogan.

'Fuck you Judy'


wheresthel1ght Tue 09-Aug-16 23:11:41

Loss = piss stupid iPhone

Wolfiefan Tue 09-Aug-16 23:12:22

Why on earth would you plan a wedding day that you would hate?!
If they want a piss up and noisy disco then they can have one. But not on the IOW at your lovely wedding!!

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 09-Aug-16 23:14:07

Oooo, I love Godshill. You could go to the model village afterwards and have some pictures taken.


KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 09-Aug-16 23:15:54

You need 'Fuck you, Judy' bunting.

Ask on the craft thread. Am sure they'll make you some as a wedding present.

GiddyOnZackHunt Tue 09-Aug-16 23:17:55

Plan big party in pub on the evening of your return home. Miss ferry.

Chippednailvarnishing Tue 09-Aug-16 23:18:32

I had four guests at our wedding, MIL had a cats bum face all day, BIL was quick to point out how busy he was around the time of the wedding, DH was quick to respond that he wasn't to worry, because he wasn't invited.
It was worth it just for that grin

Wolfiefan Tue 09-Aug-16 23:18:41

Giddy. That's a fantastic idea!

MadamDeathstare Tue 09-Aug-16 23:19:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:20:01

Fantastic idea KingJoffrey 👍

And no inappropriate Uncle Bob (who, judging by the last time I saw him, would piss on the models and then hit on my mother) in sight!

This thread has honestly perked me right up again. I'll have a spring in my step the next time I have to ask them to politely F off 😄

seventhgonickname Tue 09-Aug-16 23:20:04

Have a wonderful day🌻

KingJoffreyLikesJaffaCakes Tue 09-Aug-16 23:20:28

I like the missed ferry plan.

They may not even notice you're not there.

MsAdorabelleDearheartVonLipwig Tue 09-Aug-16 23:21:04

Can't you elope off to the IOW and have your lovely day with just the people you want and then quietly announce it when you get back? Bollocks to a load of virtual strangers hijacking your wedding day for a free piss up. If they want to get together and pay for their own drinks they're more than welcome.

Peppatina Tue 09-Aug-16 23:21:37

Giddy 😂😂😂 Now that would be funny!

Bloopbleep Tue 09-Aug-16 23:22:08

Run away just you, the groom and the kids & let the family have the party!

A relative of mine, to avoid the cheesy disco and karaoke went abroad. Nicest wedding I've been to.

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