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to want in laws to correctly pronounce my very ordinary name?

(590 Posts)
DrSeuss Tue 09-Aug-16 17:44:59

I have a very ordinary, English-of-Greek-origin name. Spelled in the traditional way, couldn't e simpler, really.
For over twenty years, ILs have mispronounced it. For twenty years, I and my husband have periodically corrected them. Not a huge thing, granted but it grates every time they say it wrongly.
AIBU to slightly mispronounce their names just a little, e.g. Sarah becomes Sorah, Jim becomes Jom? Childish, I know, but it is pretty much the only thing I have asked of them in twenty years! Other family members ask for and receive special food despite having no real grounds for this or meals served at a particular time despite having no children. I'd just like them to say my name without me mentally wincing!

acasualobserver Tue 09-Aug-16 17:48:33

Could you change your name to something they can't get wrong?

laidbackneko Tue 09-Aug-16 17:49:27

YANBU. This happens to me a lot and I have been known to overreact with a "ffs". blush

It's understandable if it was a difficult name to pronounce but mine is like Kelly which some people insist on changing to Keely. confused

BendydickCuminsnatch Tue 09-Aug-16 17:50:47

Is it Zoe? Can't imagine how they could possibly get that wrong by accident. They're doing it on purpose! I think it's pretty rude to not make the effort to remember how to say your DIL of 20 years' name confused

NapQueen Tue 09-Aug-16 17:51:02

Is it their local accent? I know people who pronounce Hotel with Hot-ell. Instead of Hoe Tel.

Some people are just weird.

What's the name?

peppercold Tue 09-Aug-16 17:52:28

acasual grin

rhodes2015 Tue 09-Aug-16 17:52:59

I think that's the only way to hammer it home!! I did the same with a lady at work who kept totally getting my name wrong for the first few months I worked there, (think Tina instead on Gina type wrong) she's called Karen, it only took a few times me calling her Sharon for the message to sink in!
Do it grin X

lasttimeround Tue 09-Aug-16 17:53:26

At least you aren't the 'mammy' I'm mixed race. Have explained to white in laws it has derogatory connotations. But mammy I stay

blueskyinmarch Tue 09-Aug-16 17:53:32

Does your name actually have two ways to pronounce it or is it maybe just your PIL have accents which they can't really help?

Manupprincess Tue 09-Aug-16 17:54:04

I feel you pain - 16 years of spelling my very straightforward name incorrectly. There are two ways to spell it, both quite normal, and EVERY time they use the wrong one. I send Christmas cards, put my name at the end of texts etc and DP has told them several times. Makes me give a frustrated sigh every birthday.

lasttimeround Tue 09-Aug-16 17:54:05

I find it very rude when people don't at leadt try to pronounce names correctly

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Tue 09-Aug-16 17:54:19

Is it an accent or dialect thing? (Thinking about the late Cilla calling all Claires,'Clur')

If not then the time to address it was probably 20 years ago!

2ndSopranosRule Tue 09-Aug-16 17:55:30


I have a simple, common name. Unfortunately I share it with our big boss who spells it incorrectly differently to me. As a consequence, everyone not spells my name the same way. Clearly, the big boss must be right hmm.

Everyone got my maiden name wrong. Spelled it wrong. Pronounced it wrong. And would tell me I was wrong. Of all the things I cannot do, pronouncing my own name wasn't one of them. Ffs.

DrSeuss Tue 09-Aug-16 17:56:23

My name is Helen, which I pronounce Hell-en, not Hell-in!
Yes, I also find it a bit much after all these years. As I say, I have always tried to go with the flow rather than demand special treatment. Should have been more of a difficult bitch!

davos Tue 09-Aug-16 17:59:00

That sounds more like an accent thing than, any be arsed to say your name right thing tbh.

PrimalLass Tue 09-Aug-16 17:59:28

I can't actually say 'Hell-en' naturally. It comes out 'Hell-in'.

Ilovetea82 Tue 09-Aug-16 17:59:55


blueskyinmarch Tue 09-Aug-16 18:01:15

I would pronounce Helen as Hel-in. I can't actually get my head round Hel-en. Is it more like Helene.

DrSeuss Tue 09-Aug-16 18:01:33

I went to uni with a British Indian woman who told me from the start that I would never pronounce her name correctly as no one who did not speak Gujarati could. But I tried, I really did!

EastMidsMummy Tue 09-Aug-16 18:01:49

Hell-in sounds stupid, but it's just an accent thing, like the difference in the northern and southern English pronunciation of Sandra.

sue51 Tue 09-Aug-16 18:01:59

Lastimearound are your ils Irish? That's what I called my Mother, it's pretty standard pronunciation though I understand why you don't like it.

BertrandRussell Tue 09-Aug-16 18:02:14

I think a lot of people wouldn't hear the difference.

RebootYourEngine Tue 09-Aug-16 18:02:35

I am the same as Prim Hell-en doesnt come naturally.

NeedACleverNN Tue 09-Aug-16 18:02:38

It's not really a big noticeable difference is it?

I can pronounce hell-en easily but it's not that far off from Helan and for that yabu and a bit touchy

BertrandRussell Tue 09-Aug-16 18:03:59

I think it might be an accent thing. I'm posh Southern, and say Hell-in.

BTW - my Irish FIL said "Mammy" too!

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