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AIBU?

To not get how when you buy a wedding package from somewhere it's a years worth of work?

150 replies

feellikeahugefailure · 09/08/2016 15:08

I'm probably being U, but i just dont see how a wedding is so much work.

You choose a package from a venue that does them every weekend. Pick who's coming and sitting where, the entertainment, photographer, go tasting to decide what to eat, flowers, dress. Sure its a few weekends of sorting stuff, but I don't see how people claim to have spent a year organising their wedding?

OP posts:
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DrPixiePants · 09/08/2016 15:09

YANBU
It's bullshit Confused

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PamBagnallsGotACollage · 09/08/2016 15:10

Do t they just mean they've been organising it over a year rather than spending the entire year organising?

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PamBagnallsGotACollage · 09/08/2016 15:11

*don't

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PeekAtChu · 09/08/2016 15:12

I think some people get over invested in it all. I can't be arsed with drama queen antics about the colours of the ribbon on the chair covers and similar. Don't even get me started on being expected to attend her/stag dos abroad.

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ProcrastinatorGeneral · 09/08/2016 15:14

I can well imagine a year worth of working enough to pay for it all if it hasn't already been saved for.

I can't understand making it a hobby like some couples do though.

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CatchIt · 09/08/2016 15:18

YANBU I just don't get it either. My super organised mum did all mine so I didn't have to!!

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littledrummergirl · 09/08/2016 15:20

Did my church wedding and hotel reception myself in 8 weeks. I don't understand what the fuss is about. Grin

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KatharinaRosalie · 09/08/2016 15:26

I remember when I was getting married and started looking into the matter a few mopnths before the wedding. Signed up on one of those wedding websites. They helpfully sent me a list:

'It's now only XX days until your wedding! By now, you have selected your wedding colours and table decoration ribbons and ordered your guest book and ...'
I swear there was about 1001 items that I had not done and had no intention to. Wedding was great.

But I can imagine how you can spend years scrapbooking and pinteresting and choosing your napkin fabric thread count

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BillThePony · 09/08/2016 15:27

I booked mine a year in advance but reckon I spent about 4 months organising maybe a bit less.

Only long thing was the dress from picking one out to getting it made to the final fitting was around 9 months.

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OTheHugeManatee · 09/08/2016 15:28

My wedding was totally DIY and wasn't nearly this much hassle. I think some people just like drama though, or else use wedding planning stress as a proxy for anxieties about the person they are planning to marry.

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FlyingElbows · 09/08/2016 15:30

The monster which is the wedding industry will only grow if it tells everyone they need to feed it for a year! Ofcourse you can organise a wedding in an hour but people are very very brainwashed to believe that you can't. How often do you see posters here lamenting the fact that they "can't" get married because they haven't got tens of thousands of pounds or 18 spare months to look at napkins?!

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BigGreenOlives · 09/08/2016 15:31

2 weeks planning. Bought White maxi dress from a shop I like, silver sandals in a sale. Minimal flowers & fuss, drove myself to & from service as was unwilling to pay for someone to drive me when I had my own car. Groom got a lift from a friend. We saved the money for the booze (all paid for by us) & food.

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BuntyFigglesworthSpiffington · 09/08/2016 15:31

Some people like to do things like spend every evening for a month making their own handmade invites. Even though that kind of thing is cheap and easy to order online and looks better than the handmade stuff!

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SeasonalVag · 09/08/2016 15:31

Jaysus. I was freshly up the duff and too vain to waddle down the aisle at full term. Sorted in three weeks .

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Pearlman · 09/08/2016 15:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hazeimcgee · 09/08/2016 15:35

We booked our wedding a year in advance and was lucky to get a date so i get why people sometimes book a few years ahead.

We startee planning from then - dress shopping took ages - maybe its easier if your slim and pretty and everything looks great on you but i struggled to find one i liked and cpuld afford.
We hand made Save the Dates and Invites so all that takes time.
Hubby hand made the seating plan and was worth the time cos i love it even now.
Friends and hubby hand drew the table "names"
We purposly didn't want couldn't justify the cost of a package with tall glass candle / generic flowers for the table centres so we took our time shopping around looking for what we wanted.
We did a couple of wedding fayres looking for cars etc and cakes.
Couple of appointments for cake, couple of fittings for dress, suit fittings, bridemsnaid dress fittings, few visits to florist.
It might not jave takeb up every day of a year but with hibby working full time and me working two jobs. it took the length of a year to get it sorted.

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Maroonie · 09/08/2016 15:36

I will have spent time over a year planning our wedding- but not spent a full year planning. Some things get booked in advance then not thought about again, some things are getting paid for in installments over the year.
I'm not getting stressed or obsessing things, I'm just enjoying looking at things and making things and looking forward to being married.
Why is it a bad thing to put time and effort into something that is important to me and I enjoy?

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hazeimcgee · 09/08/2016 15:37

Sorry for the spelling mistakes! Should proof read

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ProcrastinatorGeneral · 09/08/2016 15:38

Hardly any of that stuff is necessary though.

Two people, licence, rings if you want them, two witnesses. It can be so very simple. The industry makes you think it isn't.

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GummyBunting · 09/08/2016 15:39

I'm not getting a package, because I just couldn't get excited about any of them. I'm organising every detail, including having a garden marquee reception so have individually sourced chairs, tables, linens etc.

Even so... it's not that much hard work. I think people exaggerate it. Then again I couldn't care less about napkin colours of flower arrangements. My theme is 'cheapest and easiest'. Maybe that's the key?

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picklypopcorn · 09/08/2016 15:41

Doing our wedding totally DIY from start to finish.

There's loads of crafty stuff to do like making the wedding favors, table decorations, flowers, cake etc but I've budgeted about 3 months for all that! I have a particularly craft savvy Mum whose retired and will be helping a lot though.

There's also travelling to various village halls etc and picking one, organizing all our bands (we're having a music festival Grin) and sorting out dresses, registrars, suits and the like. All in all it should take us about 6 months to plan and organise but that's just doing it at weekends and then a week off just before the wedding where, to be honest most of it will get done.

Don't understand how it takes people who just book a venue and they do the rest over a year though!

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historyismything · 09/08/2016 15:41

Two people I know have recently married, both highly invested in the day. Daily moans and groans about how much they had to do etc. They have since said they now need something else to organise! Really? I think it definitely becomes a hobby to some people!

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hazeimcgee · 09/08/2016 15:42

But then procrastinator thecwedding isn't strictly necessary. Maybe people choose to have a nice dress, a meal, a party woth their family because they want to celebrate their wedding. I get that ultimately it's about the couple but some people enjoy celebrating with the people they love

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Maroonie · 09/08/2016 15:42

If people want to keep it simple then that's toght for them.
If people want to plan something bigger then that's okay too.
Just like some people enjoy big birthday parties and some a quiet meal or nothing at all.
It doesn't mean anyone is doing it wrong

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Maroonie · 09/08/2016 15:43

Right- no idea what toght means

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